I’m a person, that’s all I can say.
I go through my day; sometimes wishing I was back up in Toodyay.
But even back then, before we joined.
Each of us being the opposite side of a coin,
but he made me smile, he made me happy.
And I hope I did the same.

We stay up late, texting away.
Pretty cliché.

But I’m okay with that.
And I hope he’s okay with that.
Whenever I speak with him, over a message or in person,
I’m okay.
Safe and Secure from the Immature and Cruel World
I overthink on many occasions, did I say the wrong thing?
Did I annoy him?
Why doesn’t he get rid of me for Christ Sake, I’m not that much of a delight!
But he always says the right thing, and sometimes my face will fully flush in the colour he complimented me in.

I think of him randomly and I play little scenes in my head,
even when I’m falling asleep in bed...
What’s Wrong With Me?
And What’s Wrong With Him!? Why Does He Like Me Seriously!?

I stayed up all night again,
When I’m not supposed to be.
Sleeping isn’t that easy.
I toss.
And turn.
And my eyes they burn.
Bloodshot and heavy, like weights on my eyelids.
It’s not the bed, it’s just my head.
Thinking too much, and then making it all rush,
The comforting screen brightening my 2 AM morning that I never slept through.
And leaving me to dread throughout my afternoon.
One after another, day after day, I go through this pain.
I can not sleep, no matter how hard I try..
Because night after night,
I feel a little bit more of me die..

Holding it out.
As one lie on the ground, somewhere they can not be found.
Not alone, but this place is empty, eyes breaking, as their lids are shaking.

Spotting the blur that was blessed upon them, a person? With a hand to take? An offering to help one awake.
Although the time, it didn't seem wrong, though not right.
For one was young, and still had something.
But it wasn't for them, for another took it for the taking.

It was for someone else, as one disappeared.
Fading away as their heart made flee.

Once again, this hand that they can hold.
Bestowed upon them.
A gentle smile in their direction, almost like a peck of intimate affection.

Reaching out, further and further, clutching the gift of what he had in store.

He.
He is so kind to me,
but his heart is filled with sorrow.
Him.
For it is him who makes me smile everyday,
even though I see his eyes hide pain.
His.
A castle could be his, that's not even the least he could own,
but I wish there was something I could offer, to repay for my tow.

And, now.
Me, myself, and I.*
I, am not special.
Myself, am alone.
Me, I wish to be someone else.

I hate all these people around me,
they have plans for the future.
Knowing what they'll do, and what they'll be.
But how can you choose something like..that so quickly?
Mine is going down, I don't know exactly what I want,
nor what I want to be.
I'm not good at anything, where will I be able to go?
The slums, the street, outside a bar smoking ****!?

Yes everyone goes through something, and everyone has problems,
but some of them are so strong.
They get through it, and live their life.
I'm not one of them, I'm not a team player, and I'm not a problem slayer, and I'm not a prayer.

I'd rather change. Be something new, and needed for the world.
To have a purpose.
But I can't change, and I'm not a machine.
Even though I'd rather be.

Hey.
It's that time again.
Once every year, some have people come and cheer, or go grab a beer.
Whatever you want, it's your special choice.
But I can not carry on, for I feel it is pointless. And not at all special, because it's the same for many others as well, new and old.
It's become sickening to me, to look back at those bad memories.

Congratulations to you, and you.
And ...me too..
Hip, hip, hurray...
Hip, hip...hurray
Hip. Hip. Hurray.
...
..Happy Birthday..

He holds me.
In this pleasing squeeze.
And keeps it from touching me.