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Mar 2018 · 270
Maundy Thursday
Jandel Uy Mar 2018
You asked me
to open up
a bit more

I shooed away
the thought
of baring all
my skin

To someone
uncertain of ever
feeling the same

I took my clothes
off; one by
one

When I no
longer have
clothes on my skin

You were
gone
Mar 2017 · 17.2k
Babae Sa Dilim
Jandel Uy Mar 2017
Ikaw na babaeng sumasayaw sa dilim,
   Ikaw na nakakapit sa patalim:

Di ba nasusugat ang porselanang palad
    Na kasing lambot ng puwit ng sanggol?

Sa matalim na kutsilyong kinakapitan
      Ano mang oras hahatulan ng lipunan?

At sa higpit ng piring mo sa mata,
     Pasasaan pa't mabubulag ka na

Ikaw na babaeng gumigiling-giling,
   Iba't ibang laway ang pinanghihilamos gabi-gabi

Ang sugatan **** puso'y walang gamot
    Ngunit ang kandungan mo'y sagot

Sa mga problema ng mga lalakeng–
      Naghahanap ng panandaliang saya.

Ikaw ba, babaeng hubad,
   Naranasan mo na ba ang lumigaya?

Kumusta na ba ang anak mo sa una **** nobyo?
     Balita ko'y di ka na niya kilala.

Hindi ba't may tatlo ka pa sa probinsiya
   Na pinagkakasiya ang padala **** barya?

Naalala mo ba ang bilin sa 'yo
     Ni Karla na siyang una **** bugaw?

"Huwag **** bigyan ng puwang sa utak mo
      Ang sasabihin ng Inay mo.

Sasampalin ka niya, di ng palad niya,
     Kun'di sakit na dama ng isang Ina.

At iyon ang pinakamasakit
    Sa lahat ng puwedeng sumakit."

Ilang ulit mo na bang tinanong ang sarili
   Kung saan ka nagkamali?

Kung ilang liko ang ginawa
     Para mapunta sa hawlang 'sing dilim ng kuweba

Na pinamamahayan ng mga paniking
     Takot sa liwanag na magpapakita ng mga galos

Na bunga ng mga gabing kinukurot ang sarili,
     Tinatanong, hinihiling na sana'y bangungot lamang

Ang buhay nila sa dilim,
    Pasasaan pa't nasanay na rin.

Ikaw na isang mabahong lihim
   Ng mga mister na may misis na bungangera

Ha'mo na't sa iyo naman sila panatag
     Sa mga suso **** malusog, pinili nilang humimbing.

Ikaw na pantasiya ng karamihan,
   Ano ba ang pakiramdam ng pinagsasalsalan

Ng mga nagbibinatang hindi pa tuli,
      Ng mga lalakeng di kaya ang presiyo mo,

O ng matandang libog na libog sa mabango **** kepyas
      Ngunit nanghihiram ng lakas at tigas sa ******?

Saan ka na ba nakapuwesto ngayon?
    Sa Malate, Morayta, Quiapo, o Aurora?

Ilan na ba ang napuntahan mo?
  Ilan pa ba ang bibiyayaan mo ng iyong alindog?

Sa Makati Ave, Pasay, o sa Parañaque?
      Ha'mo na't langit pa rin naman ang dala mo

Kahit na alam ninyo ng Diyos
    Na nakaukit na ang pangalan mo sa impyerno.

Ikaw na babaeng walang pangalan,
   Ano ba ang itatawag ko sa 'yo?

Ilan na ba ang nahiram mo sa tabloid
  O sa mga artistang iniidolo mo?

Kathryn, Julia, Nadine, Meg, Yen, Anne
    Yna, Katya, Ara, Cristine, Kristine, Maui

Daria, Pepsi, RC, Susan, Gloria, Lorna, Aida, Fe
    Vilma, Sharon, Nora, Maricel, Dina

Ikaw na babaeng 'sing nipis ng balat ng sibuyas ang saplot
   Di ka ba nilalamig sa pag-iisa mo?

Ikaw na babaeng marumi,
  Sadsad na sa lupa ang lipad, saan ka pupunta?

Wala ka nang kawala sa dilim,
     Pasasaan pa't malalagutan ka rin ng hininga
        at  magpapasalamat sa biyaya.

Ikaw na babaeng bukod tangi,
   Ginawa **** lahat pero hindi naging patas ang mundo.

Lunukin mo na lang ang mga hibla ng pagsisisi
    Ipagdadasal kong huwag nang magdilim sa hawla mo.
Jandel Uy Mar 2017
It was one summer morning
that I found myself
half-awake, hung-over
on the floor.
My lover have left me
half-naked, half-baked.

He took my black *****
and brewed himself a
fresh batch of Arabica;
a teaspoon of sugar,
two for cream.

He left my mug
with coffee stains
from his lips.

I licked it off.
Mar 2017 · 589
Night Time
Jandel Uy Mar 2017
Later that night
she listened to the beating of
  her own heart.
It sounded weird,
she said. Like raindrops
  on her metal roof.

She laid her head on
her yellow pillow. Have
   I always been this sad,
    she wondered.

And her heartbeat
was in tune

Always
  Always
    Always.
Mar 2017 · 443
As I sit on the toilet
Jandel Uy Mar 2017
i remember last night
i drank too many
and ate less

the canvas against
my skin felt empty

and i got a text
from an old friend.
he tried to take his life away

i opened another bottle
it was stale

i got a text from my lover
he told me to leave
while i can

i can't

the canvas wasn't empty

i am
Apr 2016 · 548
Untitled
Jandel Uy Apr 2016
Hey,
you're never going to break
       this system.
How can you love
      someone when you can't even
   love yourself?
When you stay up late
       so nobody would see
how you cut your skin
     open until your blood
           comes, flowing nonstop
And you waste so much toothpaste
   because purging and brushing
your teeth works best for you
    Now you can't even give  
      a great *******
without wanting to throw-up.

No one will be brave enough
to take a risk with you
       because you can't even
love yourself.

You're just waiting
    and wanting to fade away
soon.

So you try to numb the pain
    when it intensifies
but most of the time.

You feel nothing.  

but baby, that's okay.
          You're so good at pretending

they're never going to figure out
   how much you want to
slit your throat
      from point A
  down to your navel
Apr 2016 · 491
Hungry wolf
Jandel Uy Apr 2016
Your scent-still on my skin
alcohol mixed with cheap cigarettes.
I have tried to wash it off
but have always failed.
I now wear you like perfume
leaving trails for thirsty men.
They follow me like hungry wolves-
hunting to feed on my flesh.
But I will only cut my skin open
when it's your teeth on my body.
You can consume me on broad daylight
Leave me when you're full
and I'm empty.
Mar 2016 · 591
Happy Days
Jandel Uy Mar 2016
You're a lucky *******.
Staple that on your head.
For finding a curious little seed
a curious girl in distress
willing to open up her legs
and kiss you, your ***** skin.
Who'd go down on you
on any given day;
wraps her fingers around
your big, long, throbbing ****
that's choking her to death.
Gasping for air,
on her knees,
lips wide open-
as she swallows you whole.
Licks everything clean
Including you.

— The End —