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Jan Harak Jan 2015
Because the voices keep screaming
because it's so loud
because there were no tears in your eyes
when you said your good bye
because the morning is cold
and so is the evening, the night,

because a thought of you gives me shivers
all the way to the spine
because I don't know if you ever loved me
or if it's all just a lie
because I find you disgusting
and adore you at the same time

because I don't want to talk to you
and I am scared you won't write back
because I want you to hold me
for the last time
because I want you to see me naked
and feel the lust in your eyes

because I want this to be over
because I don't want this to be over
because I know I still love you
because I know I can't stop
because it's killing me
because I want to die
Like I don't even know where all this comes from...
Jan Harak Jan 2015
I tried so hard
to make you feel love
but all that you do
is that you pump blood
Sometimes things just do not seem to work out how you wanted I guess.
  Jan 2015 Jan Harak
Eudora
You'll never know...
When you'll be head over heels
The most enchanting feeling in the world
Your unknown desires, it reveals
A current in you will endlessly twirl

You'll never know...
When happiness fills your heart
Having a precious bundle of joy in your arms
You'll realize in your life, he's the most important part
Not forgetting, he'll make the best morning alarms

You'll never know...
When your heart will be scrunched
Like a ball from a piece of paper
Feels like your chest is being ruthlessly punched
Your skin peeled off with a serrated scraper

You'll never know...
When a friend will turn his back
Whose hand you held, all these years
Intentionally causing an emotional attack
In disbelief, you gather invisible tears

You'll never know...
When you'll be caught in an unexpected plight
Daily reflections occur, due to lack of wisdom
To ease your dark path, you yearn for a ray of light
Nothing much you can do except to crave for freedom

You'll never know...
When the time comes, you might bleed to death
Tears will flow drowning your skin
As you breathe your last breath
You wish you had more time to atone for your sins
You'll never know what and when things will happen..
#life  #happiness  #love  #disappointment  #betrayal
#regret #pain #death
Jan Harak Jan 2015
I wonder if I ever be
more than just a memory
more than desire
yet unfulfilled

Will I ever be as star?
Giving light to that certain someone
will she give it back?
Or will I just remain meaningless?

Life is short
just drop in the ocean.
I am alone
devoid of devotion.

Will I die
leaving nothing behind?
Will my death
be a meaningless act?

And then a memory
once so bright
as the stars at night
will be forgotten.

I will not leave
a single scratch
on the Earth's crust.
Ashes to ashes
dust to dust.
A poem that does not even search the meaning of life.

Dir en grey - The Final: http://youtu.be/V71xhU6Wv4M
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