As I look up, sad,
snap. nerves snap and neurons in my head,
finally I am there
I know what I want, nay, need.
It is connection, to sink myself into
the roots of the Earth and it's societies
take steps, whole or half
and just be
be connected
stay connected
alas, distraction.
always distractions. never can I stay.
never do I have control.
can I return?
spiraling. thoughts evolve and yet decay
all while
I think, am I ruined? why do this to myself?
connect. feel. enjoy. last. love.
ignore all else
deep, true
connections
they have it, they can do it
why don't I have it
it is too soon, time will pass I will get there once
again I assure myself but when, when will it be real?
I worry that it's over, I worry that I'm alone.
how does it work, why can't I find it
be connected
stay connected
connect
notes up and down guide me through
that gray matter that
dark gray matter
the Encephalon.
it does not matter
it will get better
*connect