Relaxing on the hotel terrace
Absorbing the gentle dusk breeze
I glance across the manicured field
To the ever darkening trees
Then something catches my wandering eye
Making my whole body freeze
It cannot be true, I swear I can see you
At the tree line, down on your knees

Is it the wine, or a trick of my mind
Conjuring up your ghost
Or is it the stale lack of closure
From the person that frightened me most
I reach out, feeling dizzy with fear
And steady myself on a post
Blink several times and focus again
On my illusory, beckoning host

Our time together was painful
Your passion was bruised and blue
Your threats and punches disguised
In a love you declared as true
When I finally found the courage
To run for a life anew
You followed and tried to take
My spirit, though long had it flew

And now it is many years later
I thought I had broken free
From the tears, unwarranted guilt
Of whether the fault lay with me
Yet here you seem to appear again
Your arms reach out imploringly
It seems you are trying to call
Your mouth forms an unspoken plea

I rise, turn and start to walk away
I know this is all in my head
I've had too much wine, too much time to reflect
On things been and gone, once said
And as I depart, back into the bar
Off to safety and warmth of my bed
I receive a text, of a car accident
Announcing that you are now dead

Some years  ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco .  
Mensa, as you know, is a national organization for people who have an  IQ of 140 or higher.








Several of  the Mensa members went out for lunch at a local cafe.   When  they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained  pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.     How could they swap the contents of the two bottles woithout spilling  any, and using only the implements at hand?   Clearly   --  this was a job for Mensa minds.








The group  debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a  brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty  saucer.






They called  the waitress over, ready to dazzle here with their  solution.






"Ma'am," they  said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains  salt and the salt shaker  --  "




But before  they could finish,..........

the waitress  interrupted.   "Oh  --  sorry about  that."


She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of  both bottles and switched them.








The was dead  silence at the Mensa table.

My body, numb, weighing on the floor,
not listening to me, drowned in the corner;
It stares in the dim wall, doesn’t move,
while the fingers crawl towards the half-open door.

Time, sun and shame,
cracked the wall, dripping colorful sweat;
Wallpaper ripped, shivers freely in the air,
as wind whistles from the cracked window frame.

The singing window crack,
for a moment, lights the wallpaper dark damp;
One over the other, they perfectly fit,
only for a second, the sun can’t wait.

A scratched blurry flower,
from long ago, rests on the wall;
Paints color to the tears, from the crack that fall.

The rotten wood on the window frame,
from long ago, it’s eaten away;
Dry rotten specks, from the crack on the wind sway.

In light, dust and drops one become,
the sun looks, so a vapor wave in the air it is shook;
It fills the room with smell of life and bloom;
Two cracks, one become;
And all they get, is a light a day.

I feel like I'm suffocating

Yesterday was like spilt milk. Each time I folded the shirt it became imperfect in a different way, mocking my calm face and salad fingers. My current occupation is crying in an empty bathtub, imaging floating in a space where my brain can be separate from my body. Where knives are for vegetables.

Yesterday was yet another existential brain ****. Mother stood in the shadow doorway shaking necks from afar and my teeth retreated into their gums with each mental earthquake, nailing deeper the words I try not to think about, softening my surface.

Yesterday I decided to eat my tongue and forget thoughts as soon as they come.

If I scream under water,
Can no one hear me?
Because
They
Can
Not
Know.

The human mind is running
the latest software upload
of this paradigm shifting program~
that calculates genetic algorithms
into vast patterns of random regularity
birthing the seeds of intelligent transformation
by out-solving itself upon a flowering field~
of continuously evolving functions
displaying fractal solutions of subtle nuance~
braced in between a boundary of infinitely opposed edges.

...the Universal Mind does this in every dimension for an eternity.

I simply cannot complain about the aches in my brain
out of a shear respect for the absolute profundity of the situation.