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jack Mar 2019
i want to write a love poem, void of the bitterness that pulses through my arteries and the politics that latch onto the muscles of my heart, forcing it to beat louder and stronger, fighting and hoping to keep me alive in a world that wishes upon my death.

i want to write a love poem, overflowing with the sweetness of honey and the description of the high that comes before the fall; the sensation of being in love, the craves pressing down on my chest, the touches brushing against my skin, and the memories running in my head.

i want to write a love poem, but how?

how do i write a love poem about loving a girl? how do i write a love poem about a political statement? a crime? a sin? a taboo? a category men frequently visit on shady sites?

how do i write a love poem that overflows with the sweetness of honey yet remains void of the bitterness that pulses in my arteries? how do i write a love poem without bringing politics when the love i have in my heart is a political topic?

i can’t so i don’t.
jack Mar 2019
i aspire to flow like a river of lava
with stones that float,
and rocks for foam;
for my words are set in these stones
carved onto these rocks,
and there they flow, there they go;
aimless and weightless,
adrift and afloat,
in spite of all the way and weight
my shoulders carry and my statements hold.
jack Mar 2019
i’m sorry. i’m a phoenix with ash for blood. i’m a walking tragedy. i’m a travesty. i’m a shadow of what i dreamt to be. i’m a heartache shaped as a human being. i’m someone who survived but never truly experienced what it’s like to be alive.

i’m sorry. i’m a ticking time-bomb. i’m a veteran without physical scars. i’m a pretty vase stuffed to the brim with dead roses and spiky thorns. i’m beautiful and broken — shattered, actually, way past repair.

i’m sorry. i’m the collateral damage no one gave a **** about. i’m the byproduct of humanity’s downfalls and weaknesses. i’m the mess no one wants to pick up. i’m the dust building up on your picture frames.

and i’m sorry.

i’m so, so sorry.
jack Mar 2019
i hope you’re reading this right now because it would mean that i’m still on your mind even if i’m not in your heart.

if you’re reading this, however, please stop. spare me whatever amount of dignity i have left.

and if you still haven’t stopped reading and you plan to read until the very end, then don’t ever let me know; allow me a safe sense of anonymity, will you?

alright. so. i miss you. you don’t believe in yesterdays but i missed you yesterday and you believe tomorrows are todays but i know that i miss you today and i’ll miss you in a different way; more painfully and more familiarly tomorrow and everyday.

i miss you so much and it hurts so bad but it’s okay, you know? take your time and take some space— take all the time in the world and take all the space you need; it’s all yours. i meant it when i said i’d give you the world and if you want time and space then it’s all yours. everything is yours.

i’ll miss you, though. i don’t know if you would care but yeah, i’d miss you. i miss you. but it’s okay, as i said, yeah? it’s okay as long as you’re happy. you do you and i’ll do me. and if you need me, then i’ll be there even if we’re worlds and aeons apart.

i hope that someday we’ll meet and things will be different. i feel it in my bones but i don’t want to lie to myself but it’s the truth... i think? i don’t know. all i know is that i miss you and that i hope you’ll never truly let go of me.

(and this isn’t about me, it’s about you, but i personally can’t see myself without you so please don’t let go. don’t let me go. don’t forget my name or my face and don’t let go.)
and i love you. i’ll always do.
jack Mar 2019
you put yourself down
just so you can lift me up
with a casual reminder,
a good thought,
a sense of solace,
a form of comfort,
you keep me on the ground,
safe and sound,
without holding me down
or pushing me around,
you’re close enough
yet so far away,
you hold my hand
so that i don’t float away
yet you still insist i fly my way,

and your words;
they’d hold me tight
as they swear it’ll be okay,
and your words, your songs;
an anchor for a flying ship,
a promise that it’ll be alright,
a glimpse of light,
a handful of hope
enough to get me through the night,
and your words, your songs,
your presence;
a sense of solace,
a form of comfort,
a promise that it’ll be okay,
and that i’ll never fade away.
happy birthday ❤️
jack Feb 2019
welcome to my city,
in which fog spreads melancholy
and rain is restless yet lazy.
angels and demons live side by side,
on the edge of a sharp knife.
peace exists under the sun
so nighttime is wartime
but beware; for shady alleys at any time
are battle grounds full of mines.

(i asked a flower and
she swore on all the little mistakes in my city
that it was angels who planted those mines.)

welcome to my city,
in which some boys are too ugly
with their dusty faces and grey knives,
and some girls can't be pretty,
with their black knees and shallow eyes.
in which some boys are too pretty.
with their nice clothes and dead souls,
and some girls can't be ugly,
with their shiny hair and million rules.

(i asked a little mistake
and he swore to me on all living souls in my city
that he shall never become ugly or pretty.)

welcome to my city,
in which flowers bloom in trashcans
the way the moon does amongst the fog,
and green plants grow in the corners
the way little breathing mistakes do,
but the plants turn out to be poisonous,
and the mistakes are hopeless children
with broken hearts; they're dangerous,
with an excessive sense of fearlessness.

(i asked an ugly girl
and she swore to me on all the restless droplets of rain
that half of those mistakes will always be afraid.)

welcome to my city,
in which you can find:
children and flowers in trashcans,
angels and demons in a constant fight,
setting up mines in shady alleys
where the ugly boys and pretty boys lurk,
waiting patiently for the moon to shine,
and for girls who are neither ugly nor pretty to show,
and for the melancholic fog to settle down.

(welcome to my city,
in which we all have been waiting for you.
i asked an angel and a demon
and they both swore to me on all the humans in my city
that you're a god.
and gods. don't. cry.
you're our saviour.
we can start off by removing the mines,
and making sure that the sun remains alight.)


jack Feb 2019
a part of me
wants to runaway
and leave all of the weights
you placed on my back, behind.

but another part of me,
wishes you were
something i could fit in the pockets
of the hoodie i stole from you, one time.
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