Crystallized thoughts

Crystallized thoughts Dec 2018

The skies have been grey for so long.
I forgot what the sun felt like.
It kisses your face.
Like a child would to a grandmother.
It shines like those on a stage
Its warm, like a mother's hug.

I missed the sun.

Cloudy skies

#sun #light

Crystallized thoughts Dec 2018

"Accident"

Even when everything is wrong
It is right,
Because that's the way it goes.
Nothing happens on accident
No one cheats on you, hurts you,
Shatters you, or destroys your hope
on accident.
Everything has a purpose.
We get hurt to heal.
We get broken,
to pull ourselves together.
We feel weak,
To become strong.
Nothing is an accident.

Feeling kinda low lately, this is a message to myself, I really needed to hear this.

#accident #heartbreak #cheating #weak

Crystallized thoughts Nov 2018

Im sorry:(

Fill me up,
Pour me out.
My heart is yours,
I have my doubts.

I really love you,
And always will.
But my love,
It all hurts still.

The world will spin,
Like my brain.
Trying to leave,
In winter rain.

I knew you'd hurt me.
Once again,
But i love you.
my old friend.

Our passionate love,
is like a river.
Dried up now.
Only sorrow slivers.

I love you,
And always will,
But you dont
A bitter pill.

:(

#sad #love #heartbroken

Crystallized thoughts Nov 2018

I messed up

Ouch
That really hurt
Your words
Really ****** me up
And what hurts more
Is that it was unintentional

I'm overthinking it
But I can say they were right
I thought you were special,
Different.

I thought in the end it would be me and you with the world behind us
But I was wrong wasn't i.

They were right.
They're always right.
I should have listened,
But I was too wrapped around your finger to even listen to a thing they said.

Now they're gone.
And you're gone.
And I'm all alone.

Yea trust me I know.
I'm a terrible human.
I try my best but I never listen.
I...
I wish...
I would have cared about what they had to say.
But I didnt, and this whole mess
Is all my fault.

I guess I should have listened.

Always listen, they're almost always right

#fault #romance #pain #hurt #mess #listen

Crystallized thoughts Oct 2018

How odd.

Stuck,
Pain,
Relief.
All I feel in this very moment,
And yet I don't know how you feel
In this very moment
How odd.
I wonder if it will be cold outside tommorrow?
But it might be very hot for you.
How odd.
We've never met
Most likely never will.
And yet somehow
I can imagine you
A faint vision.
No details
But all I know is that's you.
I like you.
No voice
No opion
But yet you influence me to do my best
Without saying a word
All you are is a concept
But to you so am I
How odd.
Thank you
Whoever you may be
Because you've inspired me to do great things
Just by being you
How odd.

I never write about anything in particular, I start with how I feel and let my brain wonder this is a very clear example of that.

#strangers

Crystallized thoughts Jul 2018

give me space

you make my blood boil
you leave a trail of turmoil

please leave me alone
there's other rooms in this home

stop touching me
give me my space please

"oh you hate me"
"no I just want space please"

you play the victim
then try to evict them

"what is wrong with you"
"look in a mirrors view"

I'm sorry but your annoying sometimes
the space I want, not yours but mine

and stop acting like I'm trouble
its you and its double

I bottle my anger
if released there's danger

because you'll get all up set
and blame me and yet

all I've ever wanted
was the space that you've taunted

I get that you don't understand
you could try to ****

give me space
is there any in this place

I'm trying to be nice
but your stabbing my back with a knife

how do I contain
and be nice to you simple brain

you degrade my intelligence
my memory of an elephant

you deteriorate my brain cells
to you its always "oh well"

all I want is
Space

Crystallized thoughts May 2018

freezing up

the waves crash
over my mind
words slash
over time

misplaced curiosity
had no home
until undoubtful atrocity
the thought i roam

i over think
all the time
to the brink
so devine

every word
to i cling
i cannot find
what they mean

ill figure it out
this ill do
until i come
to talk to you

then ill freeze
ill muck it up
without words
i am stuck

#curiosity #crush

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