when i was little my dad used to
call himself God, used to tell me
airplanes were bumblebees, told
me "bored" was just a plank of wood
so that was impossible--
never mumble, use an inside voice
but there's an outside voice, but
i never learned to speak with
conviction from him--

lately i've been calling my brothers
the weeds back there are taking over,
the spiders are everywhere,
god, zak, my heart is breaking
god, little sister I wish I was there, but
I'm not girly.

people used to tell me to howl at the moon
but i've always been afraid of my  own voice
always wanted to scream but replaced the urge
with a smile

be blameless and innocent? Lord, I've been trying
but you can't force what you ain't,
tryin' doesn't seem to be enough for you either
but i've come to find i don't know you as well as
i thought, so bear with me while
I am, while I am
tryin'

I think I'm ready to surrender,
to raise my white banner,
done with pushing you away,
open up to you once more.

You already know my wounds,
the deep scars I carry,
I'll let you touch them tenderly,
I won't lock you out.

See, I only felt love; I forgot to show,
Love is also an action, sacrifice,
I let go of you and held onto myself,
But I miss you and long for you.

I don't care how ugly you say you are,
you're ******* beautiful in my eyes,
and if you're messed up, so am I,
I'm with you always.

**~Your best friend

True love:
Loving perfectly
an imperfect person

True love:
Giving everything
For only one

True love:
I love you
I love you too...

When I see you down and blue
   all I want to do is hug you.

You feel like you're not worth it
   trust me, you're the ****!

I care about you and love you
   because you're a good person.

I've got your back, I mean it, you're fam
   I got you when people don't give a ****.

You're feeling every brick
of your house falling down
each thud you shudder and
shake because you're scared
of all the elements you're
going to be exposed to now
that everything is collapsed.

Hold onto what you believe
you're not a bad person at all
I promise you're going to live
I promise I'm here to hold you
up through this hardship you
are going through. Embrace
the challenge and overcome.

**I believe in you.

i finally told him
I want to try.
with you.
I want to try, with you.
I want to be with you.
I want to be with you.
because it's been there
at the forefront of everything
Waiting to be said
okay. okay.  like a sigh--
I had been trying all night
From the moment he threatened
To drive away, standing insolently
In front of his headlights--
but he was quiet and
all i could do was smile
and say, but that's not
enough anymore, is it?
no, it's not.
but I know why it isn't,
and why this poem is
short with so very
few
words.
because decisions are
yes or no, but some yes'
are too
late and
some no's
follow in suit.