It's so hard to get inspired
When I feel so **** pathetic
Drugs get my brain so wired
Lately life just feels so synthetic
So fake so pretend
My head is buzzing hands shaking
Through it all in the end
I just don't want to be faking
I feel like a waste of time
Stuck in my cycle of inebriation
I feel like I'm wasting rhymes
Teasing myself with my imgination

I found the woman I adore
Wandering through head shops and record stores
Glowing eyes behind her sunshades
My depression my melancholy fades
Tattoo parlors and rock shows
Are all I've come to know
My punk, gypsy, hippie queen
More beautiful than anything I've seen
But romance doesn't happen this way
I'm left without the words to say
I choke on my intentions and fears
Past pain echoes that I still hear
All my doubts break me down
Stuck on the girl I never found

I met my soulmate years ago
A love I never got the chance to know
However I try to push past it
I just can't seem to mask it
All my attempts to numb this pain
Strand me to shoulder my own blame
All these conversations all this history
So well known yet such a mystery
Even as I pen this line
I know she will never be mine
Love is simply complicated
In a sea of souls I'm isolated
Somehow not myself without her
There will always just be something about her

Lazy imagination and a
rushing mind
I try to shine light on
the thoughts behind
These vacant stares
and shifty smiles
Like you know I hate you
but would let you stay awhile
I'm dececptive, receptive, stressed out
and so simplisitic
But these images are so perverted
yes I'm so sadistic
Trippin' away in my own
******* basement
Noddin' away to this muzik
content to feel complacent
My mind ebbs and flows
entranced in ink
As it floods the pad it is
everything I ever think

The toughest problem we face
Is that we can't put faith in people
They only leave us feeling out of place
Sooner or later let us down it's so evil
I'm no better I'm no saint
Though I feel I give my all
With the emotions I use to paint
The detailed images of my everyday fall
I've lost all my faith in humanity
Just pathetic people making every excuse
I'm content here in my insanity
Happy to hide away as a recluse
Sorry world but ******* in every way
I have no regrets no apologies
I've tried each and every day
As is written here in my anthologies

Is my tongue stimulating?
Because chasing your love is so frustrating
I was only ever after your heart
You only ever pushed us apart
It seems I can never win
No matter where I go or where I've been
I always lost myself in you
There's nothing else I can do
I search my soul and wrack my brain
To find some other cure for this pain
There is no cure no prescription
To feed my love addiction

I dabble in dreams
Singing with the sirens
Masking my shrill screams
I'm searching for guidance

These eyes are empty
I'm living outside of me
My demons tempt me
Form a different reality

I spend days in a cloud of smoke
With my nose buried in my collar
The more I try the more I know I'm broke
Living lackluster life in squalor

I'm panhandling on the corner of the street
With only pieces of my broken heart in my paper cup
Yet I find it so hard to admit defeat
I'm down not out I'll pick myself back up