I noticed I stopped being so judgmental

Maybe because I have become more human



                         and in doing so


          I have understood what being human is.


   I am flawed

                                               I make mistakes

      And

                                     I learn

                                                    
                       I improve

        I love

                                                              I hurt

                      And

    
                                  I try again.

sitting behind this white dodge caravan.
between the rain and the burst of the red stop light in front of me,
a reminder of an unscheduled opthalmologist appointment,
I can't see a thing.
I wonder what the driver would think if I pulled my car in front of him,
swerving over from the turn lane,
and speeding through the intersection.
would they curse at the rainwater I sent splashing on to their car?
the liquid connecting with a crash so loud they might flinch.
and when they heard my engine rev,
six cylinders,
0-60 just like that,
would they think me a drunk?
a fool?
an impatient, reckless, mess of a driver?
and would they be wrong, regardless?
but tonight it feels like I've never been more sober,
aware in away that makes my skin itch.
maybe it's the weather, I might wonder, knowing it isn't.
and when the light finally turns green,
after what might've been an eternity or just a few seconds,
and they drive past the scene of the accident,
would they think
"she deserved it".

..what if all who’s ever born,
..what if everything that’s ever created?
..what if all that’s ever existed?
..what if all that is universe?
..is happening inside a dust?

you might not
have been my first love
but you were the one
who hurt the most.

You threw me to the snakes
leaving me to fend for myself,
discarding me like an object that
you had grown bored of.
And,
when i crawled out from the pit
more powerful than before,
venom coursing through my veins ,
I became the monster.
I became the one to be feared.

How easy it is to forget that monsters are not born
but made
and my dear,
you are responsible for every inch of the creature I have become.