She cries at night as she tries to sleep                     c. 6.13.14 J.Ray
A victim of the life she tries to keep
She lives her life inside her own mind
She looks for the things she cannot find
Trapped inside, she just lost her way
She is someone new each and every day
Takes meds today, so tomorrow she’s fine
But the Doctor says that she’s Borderline
Silence the quiet whispers and deny all your pain
The voices in your head have all come back again
The doctors and the nurses say that you’re insane
We can make her better they always seem to claim
But we know better ‘cause they’re the one to blame
Sleeping so well now and the time sure flies
When your mind goes away a part of me dies
Nothing but finest pills the nurses will bring
Effects can **** you but you won’t feel a thing
She’s here today, so tomorrow she’s fine
But the Doctor says she’s just Borderline

I watched as the storm gathered its strength                         c. 6.11.14 J.Ray
As it summoned its lightning from the heavens
I listened for the thunder and marveled at its resonance.
I watched as the rains came and drenched the land
Each grain of dry land was consumed by its own thirst.
I watched as the river roared, and carved a new way
I watched as the trees swayed, but stood firm in the soil
I watched as the storm passed, along with its darkness and unfounded fear
As the darkness gave way to light, the sun no longer hides his face from me
We weather the storms that life brings, this way we can appreciate the sun
Sometimes we tend to go our own way, as the river, and carve out our existence
Sometimes we are swayed, but must stand firm, and hold on by our roots
Sometimes we are so overcome by want, that we are consumed by that very desire
As does the ground, we remain, and bask in the light.
Watching and waiting
For the next storm

Addiction coursing through my veins                  c. 6/9/14 J.Ray
In my private hell all it does is rain
Your heart I keep so close to my own
Sometimes just a picture of all alone
Can your heart still beat with just an ache?
Do you really think it’s too hard to break?
Your Bedroom eyes, cause suicide
Lock your emotions deep inside
Your words keep ringing in my ears
Calm the waters calm my fears
A whisper of lies upon my face
You rob my guilt but save my grace
You throw me in your lake of fire
You burn my body with my desire
Lose yourself in your own demise
When you leave a part of me dies
You are taking everything away
And you know that I can’t make you stay


Thanks for reading my attempt...I hope you enjoyed, comments and critique are always welcome!

If you were a mermaid                                   c. 6.8.14 J.Ray                         
I’d follow you down
I wouldn’t be afraid
If I had to drown

Into the dark sea
We swim all alone
Though we cannot see
Into the depths unknown

Through the waves
And through the sand
To Pirate’s graves
Let me hold your hand

Sharks around us got big teeth
Hold you close and calm the fear
The dangers in the underneath
But the water is just oh so clear

Your hair catches the suns final ray
I hate to go now but I’ll be with you soon
In my true heart I wish I could stay
I kiss you goodbye with light of the moon

I bleed from the wounds you inflict
I never knew you loved me, you never let it show
When you’re around my veins constrict
I can’t breathe when you’re near, Feels like I’m stuck in snow
My mouth is open, but my lips are still
I try to speak, but my words, my words they always fail
I feel the wind, I feel the chill
What I wanted to say, has just been set to sail
I see you leave, I watched you go
The door of my heart, you closed so slow
My eyes gave way, my tears like rain
My stomach wrenching in so much pain
I’ve ran aground in this ship of a fool
In my own mind, I feel like such a tool
You’ve made my heart an empty hole
Your lies drained my wounded soul
My mouth is open, but my lips are still
I try to speak, but my words, my words they always fail
I feel the wind, I feel the chill
What I wanted to say, has just been set to sail
I never listened to the silence, until I was alone
Loneliness is my new friend; you know I’m cold as stone
Evil walks in the midst of my soul
It shows its head, when you come around
I’m blinded by love, it’s such a curse
Don’t forget that I loved you first
I don’t believe that I’m the worst
I am your spell; I’ll always be your curse

Indifference (Drown Me)             J.Ray 7/23/13
I lived in a world of illusion                                      
I thought that you were mine
My mind is full of confusion
Our love seemed so benign
You never loved me I should have guessed
But you always pretended to do your best                                  
You try to rain on my parade
I get so tired of this charade
You bathe me in your confidence
Then you drown me with indifference
I’m so confused I can’t read you
We used to have a love so true
While I still have a soul to sell
Got to free myself from my own Hell
Silent treatment from your skin
I watch your chest as you breathe in
You bathe me in your confidence
Then you drown me with indifference
I’m so confused I can’t read you
We used to have a love so true
The darkness hides the smile on your face
As you say you need to have your space
Paint it white ‘cause you’re so pure
You got no disease, but you got the cure
There is no sun, there is no rain
Only darkness fills my den of pain

Broken Tracks #################                              
Loneliness in my head
Like a cold black train
Never know when I’ll see you again
I sit in solitary waiting for a sign
My mind is pacing my heart is racing
In my dark my mind your eyes they flash
Just a glimpse of who you are
And in my dark mind, your eyes they flash
How I can I erase these scars
You’re locked away
I threw away the key
Whatever happened to you and me
Flames flicker in the night sky
How it hurts to see you cry
Only time will tell if I live in my own hell    
I burn myself to stay awake
And only time will tell
If I live in my own hell
How much more pain can I take
My Heart is leaving
It won’t come back
It’s caught the train that runs on a broken track