Your laughter spills like ink onto my heart.

Breathing color and light into the cracks.

To you, nothing has to be fixed. You accept everything as it is.

Being with you makes me want to give this feeling to everyone, too good to keep to myself.

It's not the electricity they talk about in movies.

Not cathartic.

No, you are more sustainable than these things.

You are Sunday mornings,

Coffee shops during gentle rain,

I'm nostalgic for you even when you are right in front of me.

With you, nothing needs to be fixed.

Not even me.

These familiar streets used to bring solace.

You see, this used to be a blank canvas but I've painted myself onto it and people are starting to notice.

Looking out from my seat all I see are ghosts of what I've done lining the streets.

And it's a scene I wish I could reframe
But this,

This is a problem I just can't tame.

Maybe I'll change my name

Then plan a party with no invitations and wonder why nobody came.

Their voices echo

"We want an intellectual,

Not a beaten-down rebel,"

But you must let the flames lick your heels.

To live freely

And create beautifully

You must feel intensely.

And you will  burn

We met in December

Locked eyes and fell instantly.


I never liked the cold.


But I liked the late nights.

Talking.

Whispering secrets in the in-between

Or sharing looks of longing.

Quietly.


I never liked the cold.


You say winter makes it worse.

That it reminds you of growing up.

A turning point.

Trading blows instead of cards,

Where baseball bats

Aren't used

For baseball

Anymore.

I never liked the cold.

And my heart tore

When you showed me the pills lining your pockets.

"Just in case,"

You would say

"I need a quick escape,"

And I never knew

I could feel so numb

As when they called

And said what you had done.

That you were gone.


I never liked the cold.


But I really liked you.

What are you to do

When those meant to accept you

Make you feel alone?

My sweet little Gayle

It's as if your eyes were made

Just to melt my heart

When will we become

Just a simple afterthought

When will you forget?