A foreign city at twilight
Neon stars and hidden alleys
A maze just waiting to be explored
Adventure beckoning you forth

Late night calls on discord
Video games and cute dogs
And the ever growing mass
Of the midnight sky outside

Purple dice and red roses
And the hope of a new day
New sights, new dreams
New you, new me

A dancing step forward
With no glance behind
A reminder for the spontaneity
And the freedom of the Now

Journeys wouldn’t exist without you with us

you are deliberate in your sunshine
and balmy summer days
a warmth that will never
and should never be replaced

you are yellow flowers after a storm
sand before waves
music on road trips
a promise of reprise

upbeat moments that carry me through
the steepest of falls
a reminder to be grateful for little things
to share my love with all

your smile could thaw
the most frozen of hearts
a welcome respite on dreary dark days
thank you for all that you are

sunrise would be nothing without you here

people see smoldering flames  
crawling up her veins
and think of empires collapsing into ash,

people watch her eyes spark
and feel her calloused electricity
and they convince themselves of her power  

she broods and she intimidates    
and they think she is strong
and they think she is dangerous
and they are afraid of her fire

even though the only thing she tries to destroy
is herself.

and when you said
laughter is like a foreign language
i imagined that i was
teaching you how to
speak it

One day I hope to put these feelings down in writing
To find a way to simplify the way these carry me
The smell of worn leather and pine trees in December
A cold wind and a creek half frozen
The line of trees that separate my house from the wilderness
And how some days I wish I could disappear in there with you

We would hunt and forage
forge a path of our own
Play an out of tune guitar around a smoldering fire
We would live in the trees and hide in the grass
You would braid my hair and we would dance barefoot in a clearing
To the sound of cicadas and leaves underfoot

I love, I miss, I want you.
I hope for you.
More than I will ever be able to tell you.

Someone else’s immortality is the heaviest thing to carry
When you left, I realized I would take you with me forever
A weight on my shoulders and a hand in my own
Barely there but never fading

I carry you in the way I see your silly habits
Chewed up nails, toe tapping, off key whistling
When I hear 90s rock on my messed up car radio
I hold you close when I see women with bruises
Wishing, forever begging
that I could have saved you
I reach for you when it’s three am and I dream about our sleepovers
I miss your tired eyes, the coffee you kept in your cup

I carry you in three little rings, along with everyone else
A shirt you gave me and jeans I stole
A necklace you handed me, always on display
I miss you in the static of the phone call when I told you I loved you
I miss you when I smell the ink of the letter you gave me years before you left
The only proof I have that you loved me too

The weight of your immortality is the heaviest thing I’ve carried

Knowing every day you are lost, as I am without you
Begging and wishing with all my heart that you are safe
Your immortality, will be my burden to bear.
Knowing every day you are no longer the person I grew up with.

I will carry the memory of you forever.  

I will grow older,
I will marry and have children and accomplish my life’s goals
And you will forever be stuck 18
Cheap hair dye, battered sneakers, and your dads old car
You are immortal in me, never changing even as you do
And it kills me to think how wrong I might be

Your immortality is the heaviest task I’ve had.
Yet I carry on;
Committing you to memory
What an honor it is to carry you