theres a part of me
that hates my body
that wants to tear me apart
eat at my heart
and never let me breathe

All I want is one day
Where my veins don't itch below the skin
Where I don't crave the bites

All I want is one day
Where I don't have to think about it
If only so I could clear the hair from my skin without temptation

All I want is one day
Where I don't have to fight with myself through every moment
To indulge in life's simple pleasures with an undistracted mind

All I want is one day
Where the spiders don't crawl beneath my skin
And I cease searching for scars that have since faded

All I want is one day
But I would take an hour-
Or even a minute...

Simply to be free of the spiderwebs that splay across my skin.

Someone help please take my hands off of around my neck
And help me breath
Because my vision is blurry
And it seems I've lost my way
The girl in the mirror might look like me
But she isn't so don't believe her when she says "I'm fine"
Her goofy smile is gone
And she doesn't eat cookies sitting upside down
The flame in her eyes are gone and has been replaced with an ocean
No she doesn't slit her wrist
but sometimes she wonders why she stopped
and then she remembers it's because she got caught
she doesn't talk much so people don't hear her scream S.O.S

I reach for the stars
But they seem so far

when i left my mark
i didn't think
it would be a scar

i dreamed of it being a handprint
on your heart
but i see now, that i've only cut it open

and sorry is not the bandage that i once believed it could be
time no longer the cure i had labeled it

i see now why the doctor prescribed those
shifting glances
and one word responses

because i am just a relapse waiting to happen

Someone asked me to draw
Draw what heartbreak looks like
I finally got tired of drawing a broken heart
And I started drawing you

I'm sorry, life has been taking it's toll on me, and I can't keep up. I'm sorry.

Whenever I steal a glance at you
No matter how fleeting the image is in my memory
The photographer in me comes to life, trying
Trying to note the focal point of your body
The light source
Shadows, colors, position
blink
The artist in me turns on, and
I secretly trace the outline of your shoulders
I recreate every single strand of your hair
On invisible paper
blink
The poet in me struggles to the surface, attempting
Attempting to describe the texture of the skin
I never touched, the lips I haven't kissed
Wanting to put into words feelings I can't even fathom
blink
All the while, the student in me desperately tries
Not to let the inevitable sigh escape from my lips
In the middle of class
Whenever I steal a glance at you