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icelar Mar 2021
no one can waste my time.
if they waste my time, i'll waste it back even harder.
no one can bully me.
if they bully me, i'll bully them harder.
the world isn't fair sometimes.
but if it isn't fair to me, i'll take it down myself.

i don't need help, unless i do.
in which i will be my own help.
if there's a wall between my goal and i,
i'll kick it down.
sometimes i might actually need help.
but i won't like to admit it.

want to dethrone me?
i dare you to try.
you won't even get close.
by the time you're applying to your first job,
i'll be the CEO of the company.
by the time you get a promotion,
i'll be a self-made billionaire,
born from immigrants into an unfamiliar country,
started with nothing and then worked my way to the top,
faster than you did, even though
you had a head start and you had privilege
and you had all the cards.

(i took them from you in a dazzling play. now stop whining about nothing and get to work.)

because after the day is done,
i will always be faster than you.
and i'll do it twice as good, in half the time.
entj mindset
icelar Jan 2021
for what it's worth,
all this work will be forgotten by sunday.
for what it's worth,
my accomplishments will be forgotten by sunday.
for what it's worth,
all my ambition and drive will be forgotten by sunday.
for what it's worth,
i hope they will remember on monday.

however,
my ambition and drive might burn itself out,
but i'll just blow on it and stoke the flame
it'll set the entire world on fire
taking it by storm, hurricane after hurricane,
until the ash settles and the water recedes,
and a single snowflake settles on the tip of my nose.
(and then melts immediately afterward)
that snowflake'll turn into a raging blizzard
screaming my name until the cold snap is over
and the world is covered with the glaciate, bruised feathers
of birds once in flight

i'll kick up my feet on my frozen desk, blow the smoke
from the crumbling shell that once was my determination
and smile ruefully and the world i first took over and then destroyed
yes i know i used glaciate as an adjective when it's actually a verb forget it okay sometimes i need to make up some word uses just for the sake of the poem
icelar Dec 2020
whistling whistling whistling
wooOooooOooowooo owooOo wooOOO ooo
singing me to sleep

soft breaths like a cat
hh-shhh, hh-shhh, hh-shhh
or ravenous screams, telling me
let me in let me in let me in

soft melody, broken throats
crushed voices just in time, any rasping?
check on them for me, will you

they're begging, ma'am
please just tell us the answer

...
icelar Oct 2020
why should i be
begging my mind
for a single dream to see you again

a single dream to find the color of your eyes
a single dream to figure out
the length and weight in which
i should draw the lines of your fingers
a single dream to decide
which one i should choose
and which one i should let go of

as above, so below
below ran me over,
ground me into dust
above patted my wounds
when i needed healing
neither of them know
which one i wanted to choose
and which one i wanted to let go of

but it's decided. i've chosen my path
all i have to do is to muster the courage
to walk it
icelar Oct 2020
made-up words
bringing me joy when i press
the italics sign, writing my own stories
and building my own kingdoms
with the power of my keyboard

i don't need hammers
i don't need stone
i don't need a team of builders
i just need my pen
which is sharper than any sword

a zheshi is a girl
in this made-up language of mine
filling the rarefaction
of my motivation
icelar Oct 2020
he's quiet sometimes
but the silence he gives
is so extremely loud
the laughs he gives, they're
a gift only to the faces on the screen
he sees

but he doesn't see us anymore
the people who gave him his face
the people who hold out hope
he doesn't see his blood anymore
because we are his blood,
are we?

maybe he doesn't want to see his blood
because he's squeamish. maybe he doesn't
want to see his blood because he's afraid. maybe
he doesn't want to see his blood because we're
so unequivocally wrong and young and dumb
or old and too wise and clueless
maybe he just doesn't know
at all.

i certainly don't.
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