I am a hallowed out book
An ornate casing that should hold beauty between its walls
Instead, emptied of emotion
And often filled with drugs, *****, and unthinkable secrets

My pages are torn out
The words that should be used to express my thoughts have been desecrated
I will never be complete again
Where my story once was, now fragments of pages with sazerac stains are found

The few memories left wrapped around the flask when this whole mess began
Were soon torn off in desperation
And rolled into funnels to fuel late nights' bad decisions

Every night I look up in the sky
pointing out the brightest stars
finding constellations
thinking about us
can we also create something special like the stars had connected to create wonderful constellations

It pains me thinking that he is one of the brightest stars while I belong to the tiny ones scattered around him
having no chance of being seen by him

I tried to fire myself up
created a supernova out of me
but instead of his attention that I've been longing for
all I got was strained stares of those around me
tired of watching me trying so hard when everyone knows forever he and I are not meant for each other

Who knows?
I argued, not wanting to believe that the chance that I got for him to notice me is only larger than the size of an atom, close to nothing.

I thought I was dauntless by being a supernova, but it's too late to realize that I was just another fool chasing someone so impossible o reach.

I need so say goodbye
I know it will take some time

slowly my name will fade from your lips
the labour of your love will turn to ash
all the pain that demands to be felt now
will soon be a distant memory

slowly I will be forgotten
oblivion is inevitable for me

my unconquerable heart
will repeat these words
to the next person that dares to love me

Her hair shifts lightly, breathing in the wind
A million insecurities hiding behind my gaze
A slender hand closes loosely over mine
Even as my eyes push her gently away.
And we float - two islands separated by a vigilant sea
That kisses our shores to keep us at bay
Lest we collide into despondent calamity
Lest we crumble like sandcastles beneath the waves.
A bottle and two glasses stand tall on the table
Against the backdrop of unfulfilled fairytales
Despite myself, a warm affection spreads through my chest
Past all the defences my heart carefully puts in place.

And as I listen to her laughter behind my fortressed walls
I wonder if I'm falling for her
Or if it's just the alcohol.