If not now, maybe in the future
When we're grown, sober even
Loved you through it all
While we were drugged & young
In the future, hopefully
It will still be there
& we can get it to work
Cause I know
You're my person
And I don't know how to be
Any bit of me, without you
For now, i'll grow, alone but free
Till then
We'll just have to see
How things could be
If it's nothing more
But a intoxicated love
We once shared.  

Watch me
As I spin
And turn
Your heart
Against those
Who love you
The most

first blossoms
of the cherry
winter's dream
awakened

I look back at our late-night conversation,
It was the first time I've heard your voice
I knew I was the slightest bit of anxiety
My fingers were a little cold
And I might have felt it trembling
But when you spoke,
Your voice lit up the fireplace in the room
And my hands began to grow warmer and warmer
As your airy words go fluttering from the speaker to my ear
I slowly felt cozy and the bit of alcohol from a while ago crawled back up
My words were unimpaired and free
The simple exchange of nonsensicality and infinite laughters
When we said good night,
I lay in bed looking at the ceiling
But all I see is pitch black
So I think about the look on your face
As we laughed at your stupid stories
and the pitter-pattering around your house
I wondered about the future events
If I pushed the green button again
But I just stayed there,
And waited
'Til I fell asleep

I'll say a word
I'll pen a thought
In the most abstact manner
About sharks in the ocean
Some hammerheads
Smelling blood
And no matter my intentions
You'll find your own meaning
And it will mean something to you

But I'll intone
I'll sing a song
In my plainest language
My purest intention
I love you
I always will
And I'll be alone
Because thats what makes you happy
Yet you'll find no meaning in that

Plants grow even in the desert
And I'll turn on the radio
And hear a song
We used to call our own

How can I forget?
Only by remembering that it was a song of sorrow
I'll forget
Because you want me too

And all my love is meaningless

I am a magician
And this is my magic wand
Casting a spell over you,
Guiding your emotions,
And sharing mine.

This wand removes
The walls I *****
During the day,
Tearing them down easier
Than wrapping paper
From a new present
On Christmas morning.

This wand gives shape
To the alien world that
Lies in my mind, and
Gives the characters a
Body, voice, and identity.

This wand casts a spell
Over the most beautiful girl
In the world.
Sending emotions flowing
Towards her like
Rose petals down a stream.

This magnificent wand
Records my  thoughts,
Almost of its own accord,
As they flow from
My mind.

My wand
My voice
My light

*my pencil

Everyone gets ****** into sadness and so much lameness. Never thinking they are good enough. Never thinking they are worth anything.. Never knowing where to go. What to do.

All I have to say is I really hope no one thinks they are the only ones. Everyone is suckin at life. And if they aren't now, ( that you can see) they have before.
Or they still think they do. All you got is this life.
No one knows if the choice they make is right. Or if the next step will be the best one.
Everyone at least semi wishes they hadn't made some mistake in the past.
Or wished the past was different.
But.    Who wants to live there? In the past that was the worst?
Today is a new day. And guess what so is tomorrow.
No more looking back. No more dwelling on what could of been. Let's all move on. And realize we are never alone. Can't we?

Rant done.