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1.9k · May 2017
Illusion
Hayley Anders May 2017
It's all an illusion.
The fame,
The fortune,
None of it matters.

So look at who you are
Is it who you want to be?
Is this where you are
Or where you want to be?

It's all an illusion.
The fear,
The freedom,
None of it matters.

Are you running away from here
Or running to somewhere?
Is this excitement
Or are you just scared?

It's all an illusion.
The fact,
The fiction,
None of it matters.

Does this world exist
Or is it in my mind?
Are you real
Or my imagination?*

You're the illusion,
My dear,
Because you were never really here.
1.6k · Jun 2014
Fragile Winter Butterfly
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
A fragile winter butterfly
Flutters from the sky
So soft and yet her heart
Is cold and made of ice
But if I warm it
She will melt and die
Same guy wrote this about me when he thought I was pushing him aside for someone else because a so-called friend told him so...
1.6k · Jan 2014
Left Behind
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
With tears in my eyes,
I long for those summer nights
The days before you said goodbye
And late at night I wonder why
You left me behind
Here in this empty white room
Just four walls surrounding me
I'm dead inside since you left me
And you just don't see
What would you do if I streaked these walls with red?
Laying on this cold, hard floor dead?
No, you wouldn't see,
Just another girl left behind
Just another girl not worth your time
1.5k · Nov 2014
Second Choice
Hayley Anders Nov 2014
There was always someone
Better than her
Prettier than her
Smarter than her
Loved more than her

She couldn't figure out
Why she didn't measure up
Why she wasn't good enough
Why she never made the cut
Why she couldn't be anyone's number one.

Second choice.
That's all she was,
All she's ever been,
And all she felt she'd ever be.
Just someone's second choice.
Making someone feel like your back-up plan hurts them more than you'll ever see.
1.2k · May 2017
Left Again
Hayley Anders May 2017
Why can I never keep the one I love with me?
I'm difficult to hold and hard to love.
I know it's true,
And it seems too much
For even you.

So run away.
It's what you do.
And I'll just be standing here
Loving you.
1.2k · May 2017
L.I.F.E.
Hayley Anders May 2017
Living
In a
Fatal
Eternity
1.2k · Jan 2014
Hidden Within a Storm
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
Raindrops running down the window at a quickened pace,
Like tears down a face
Thunderous roar of the wind,
Block out the cries,
Of  another girl who fell out of grace

Flashes of light brighten up the sky
Lighting up the face of a boy so shy
Clouds cover everything,
As darkness encircles
It hides all lies


The storm has pasted
Bringing light to an outcast
The sun shines,
With rainbow colors above all heads
But this storm won't be the last
1.1k · May 2014
Unfaithful Words
Hayley Anders May 2014
I love you,
and I hope we can stay friends,
but I don't want any romantic ties with you...

You love me?
How can that be true
When you just broke my heart in two?

Because I've decided to pursue a relationship with someone else.
I want to be honest with you and let you know,
because you deserve to know.

I deserve to know?
You tell me now
After you've trashed and bashed my heart!

I still love you

Shut up!
Just shut up!
I can't listen to this anymore!

I value our friendship too much.
I won't care if I lost her
Because we haven't known each other long.*

What?
You should value you her more than life
If you can choose her over me!

I pushed guys away.
I didn't want you to feel like an option.
I wanted you to feel like THE option,
But you couldn't give me the same respect.

You went to her with our problems.
You let her comfort you.
You let her take my place.

Now you have no place.
I hope she makes you as happy as you say
Because I'm done giving you the time of day.
1.0k · May 2014
Love Is In The Air
Hayley Anders May 2014
What if love is a poison
And we all strife for something that will **** us
But don't care because it makes us happy?
804 · Jan 2014
Please Stay
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
I should have warned you that day we met
But I never knew how great this love would get
And now I've hurt you
Something I'll never forget

So please let me stay
In your arms one finally day
I don't want you to leave
But I fear you'll go your separate way

These tears run down my face
With a quicker and quicker pace
I know they're my fault
I'm such a disgrace

It was wrong, I know that's true
But please remember I still love you
I know you're hurting
But I am too

I made a mistake
And I see your heart, I did break
Because I was weak
You stepped on the brake

Now you've left me wondering
If this love is ending
I can't change the past
Please let me try and do some mending
750 · Jan 2014
I Don't Deserve This
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
I'm so sentimental, but God, you're so ******* temperamental
You gave me roses, but stuck me with the thorns
Now I'm bleeding, yes, I'm bleeding on the floor
And you don't seem to care
Screaming at me
How the **** is this even fair?
How the **** is this even fair?
What the **** did I do to deserve a guy like you?
Turn my smile into a frown
Pick me up just to throw me back to the ground
Screaming and shouting,
You're always ready to go another round
746 · Nov 2014
Perfect Imperfections
Hayley Anders Nov 2014
You are perfectly imperfect,
And I wish you could see that I'll never leave,
Never run from you,
I love you.
Please won't you stay too?
Stay. Please.
732 · Nov 2014
Old VS. New
Hayley Anders Nov 2014
You cannot expect something new to grow
If you nurture what is old.

The old and new cannot flourish together
And will both fade away.

Then you will have lost both.
New things won't grow if you're busy trying to keep old things alive. You have to choose between the two or they will both be gone and forever out of your reach.
629 · Jan 2014
The Beauty of a Storm
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
Streaks of lightening crash down to the ground
Through the sky, it tore
Thunder as loud as a lion's roar
It silences all other sounds
The storm chases away any signs of day

Raindrops come down so fast
A wind with an eerie cry
So powerful you'd think you could fly
But don't worry, the storm doesn't last
Just wait it out and it'll be gone in a flash

The sun will break through
The clouds will separate
And not a moment too late
Showing a rainbow of beautiful hues
Made from the beauty of a storm
601 · Jun 2014
Frozen Rose
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
I walk through the glistening ****** snow
That covers the sorrow of autumn’s death
Where I find on a bush a frozen rose
Its beauty held ageless in winter’s breath

How I long to touch those petals again
Those moist velvet lips that promise such bliss
Opened in passion whispering my name
As I drift in dreams of a breathless kiss

Oh! To pluck this rose from the winter snow
And hold it closely to my aching heart
And free it from that ice so bitter cold
That now my love keeps you and me apart

But if I were to pluck this winter rose
Would all its petals fall upon the snow?
This was written for me by someone who I treasured dear to me. I guess the petals did fall...
526 · Jun 2014
Done Loving You
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
I don't care what you do
Because I'm done loving you.
I've got nothing to say
Because I'm running away,
So listen when I tell you it's over now
and watch me while I take a bow.
Because I'm done holding on,
I'm already gone.
No time for one last kiss.
I'm about to get my eternal bliss.
So see you later baby,
You can feel free to hate me.
524 · Jul 2014
May Showers
Hayley Anders Jul 2014
May showers
Bring April flowers

But all May showers bring me
Is showers of tears that could create a sea

It's so far away
But he leaves in May

May showers
Bring April flowers
He's moving to Washington :'(
490 · Jan 2014
Done Fighting
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
You refused my side of the story
After the mistake I did make
And your heart I did break

But what about you?
It was only occasional moments that you seemed to care
When I poured my heart and soul into loving you, now how is that fair?

I'm not perfect
But neither are you
With all the mistakes that were nothing new

You're no angel, honey
Not by a long shot
In the end, I was the who fought

Fought for our relationship
Fought for our love
And you decided to shoot it down like a dove

You're a scared little boy who ran when things got tough
But I don't care that you ran away
You never really understood me anyway
471 · Jun 2014
Salty Soldiers
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
Salty soldiers down my face,
How you get the best of me;
When my heart begins to race,
When I can no longer see...

Flowing overseas again,
You leave in wake a warmer trail;
You turn my mind to sin,
As my heart begins to fail..

You leave your way onto the ground,
You leave me as a way to say hello;
When nobody else is around,
Who cares enough to know?

Another walks in your footsteps,
As your rifle clicks and pounds;
Sticky blood along your neck,
As the shell hits the ground...
My friend shared with me this poem he wrote
453 · Jan 2014
My Heart Is Yours
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
It's a cold day in the summer sun
Without you here, I'm feeling so numb
And I can't believe
How far you are from me

You stole my heart the first day we met,
and I'm happy to say I want you to keep it
It's yours,
as long as you don't break it
449 · Apr 2015
I am (a)
Hayley Anders Apr 2015
Massacring my senses with every touch.
Adapting to this new pain lust.
Surrendering myself to the pain.
Over resisting the painful pleasure.
Captivated by how good the pain feels.
Hooked on this insatiable feeling.
Irrationally seeking more pain.
Savoring every ache in my being.
Taking in the delicious sensation of every violent connection of skin.

I think I might have a problem... But I like it.
It spells ******* down the side.
425 · May 2018
Blank Sky
Hayley Anders May 2018
You know how you look up at all the stars in the sky and see how beautiful they are
How they shine
Until it's a cloudy night and all the stars are gone
And you wonder why you're looking up because there's nothing there to see
That's you
You're a cloudy night stealing my stars from me
No, wait, you're not
That's my depression
That cloudy sky is my depression
 But you wouldn't know that
You caused that
You were suppose to show me the constellations and how they shined just for me
How bright they shined just for me
But no, you came in and stole those stars
You *******
This is your fault and you don't care
"Oh I'm sorry"
How sorry can you be when you text an apology
You monster
You thief
How could you do this to me?
You took my stars and my sanity
But you don't care
You just moved on to another girl
I hope you treat her better
I hope you know every thought of you makes my mind *****
Makes me digusted
The sight of you is like looking at corpses and rot
Like maggots and worms
The sight of you is sickening
Every picture
Every thought
It makes me want to push you in the path of a bus
Of a train
Of a boat propeller
You'd deserve it
I hope you treat her better
And I want my stars back *******
You can't have them anymore
Stop taking people's stars
418 · May 2014
My Ten Years Are Up
Hayley Anders May 2014
grrrr
I hear their growls and scratches on the door.
All I can do is cower on the floor.
They've come for me.
It's too late to flee.

aaaarrrrooooo
The hellhounds are here for my soul.
It's my death toll.
I sold it for you, love,
But now I can't protect you from above.

My time is fleeting fast.
I wish I could go into the past
To when I made this deal
And never kiss to seal.

You loved me for a good ten years,
But now here are all my fears.
You'll feel no love for me
When I leave to suffer eternal misery.

aaaaahhhh*
The hound's claws tear at my flesh.
I start to thresh
In hopes of fighting it off,
But it practically scoffed.

I'm going to lose my soul.
Without it, I can't be whole.
Without you, it won't matter.
So I'll just lay here and be splattered.

I never got to say goodbye.
Too bad I'll die knowing our love was a lie.
At least I was happy for a little while.
Now I must go to Hell, how vile.
410 · Nov 2014
It's True
Hayley Anders Nov 2014
You
Are
Such
A
Pain...
...but I love you.
385 · Jan 2014
Six Simple Words
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
Six simple words hold so much meaning to them
Six simple words can change everything
Six simple words can set me free
Six simple words...

I can't take this any longer
384 · May 2017
DE.A.T.H.
Hayley Anders May 2017
Darkness
Everywhere
Admires
The
Hopeful
383 · Aug 2018
An Old Friend
Hayley Anders Aug 2018
A figure walked into my room late one night. It was Death. Without any words, I knew it was my time. Tears rolled down my face, but I didn't make a sound. I didn't want the people outside to see what was about to happen. Death came to my bedside, laid down its scythe, and pulled down its hood. To my surprise, Death looked like an old friend and a smile spread across my face. We stayed there for a minute or two without words lingering in the air. I knew this time wasn't given to me to prepare or come to terms with what came next, but so I could enjoy my last moments and be at peace with myself. Death pulled up its hood, grabbed its scythe with one hand, and extended the other to me. In that moment, I grew scared of what would happen to the people I left behind, but one look at Death and I was calm once more. I looked around the room at the white walls and grabbed the hand of Death. As we left, I heard a voice I no longer recognize speaking words I no longer understood. What is a code blue?
Death isn't always scary.
345 · Jul 2014
New Love
Hayley Anders Jul 2014
I can't believe I'm falling
It feels so fast
I can't believe I'm falling
I hope it lasts

This is crazy
How quickly I fell
This is crazy
How time did tell

He said he's falling for me
I think I might cry
He said he's falling for me
I feel so alive
328 · May 2014
Hey, It's Okay
Hayley Anders May 2014
Hey, it's okay.
The pain will go away
Someday.

Hey, it's okay.
It won't always feel this way.
The pain will go away.

Hey, it's okay.
Don't make this your dying day.
This pain will go away.

Hey, it's okay.
Just listen to what I say
Because the pain will go away.

Hey, it's okay.
All our pages fray,
But the pain will go away.

Hey, it's okay.
Let's dry those tears again today.
The pain will go away.

Hey,
It's
Okay.
Read the bold words together
317 · Nov 2014
Choices
Hayley Anders Nov 2014
You can't decide
On the person you should be with
If we are right.

Should I make this easy
And walk away
From your loving embrace?

But you don't want that
For me to leave
Because you say you need me.

Why do you need me,
An emotional wreck,
To be happy?

I think you're insane
And I'm a hopeless lover
Who is bound to destroy each other.

Or maybe,
Just maybe,
We'll bring each other never ending happiness.

But you won't know
If you go with what's old.
309 · May 2014
Always
Hayley Anders May 2014
In the end,
I always end up crying.
Broken and shattered,
Wishing he never mattered.
Broken,
Laid out on the floor.
Hoping to be no more.
308 · Jan 2014
My Mistake
Hayley Anders Jan 2014
The days I've seen,
And those long December nights
Keep me wondering
If this darkness holds me tight
I can't look for a brighter tomorrow
Can't see the smile on their faces
Or hear the laughter, it's been ages
But what I miss the most is the sparkle in your eye when you looked at me
Now I'm stuck in darkness, in its hold
And I can't keep my mind from racing to thoughts of you
I know this is all on me
You say you don't hate me,
But I do
I can't take back what I did in the past
I wish I could
All of this went to waste,
When I dared look into the eyes of another face
I told you I would always hold love for you
And you said the same
So why does this feel like a game?
With the winner being the one
Who's love is long gone
305 · May 2014
Hopeless Love
Hayley Anders May 2014
I would love you even if you broke my heart
And shoved all the broken pieces under the rug
So you wouldn't have to see them.
300 · Sep 2017
Learning The Hard Way
Hayley Anders Sep 2017
Sometimes,
the safety net hurts worse than the ground
¡------------¡
____
293 · Jun 2014
S.P.A.C.E.
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
Seriously
Pissed
And
Clearly
E**nraged
284 · May 2017
U.S.E.D.
Hayley Anders May 2017
Underestimated
Sullen
Exhausted
Discarded
How they make me feel
282 · May 2014
Friends
Hayley Anders May 2014
Friends?!
Is there no end?!
I was happy with you
And what does life do?!

It tears my happiness all apart.
Injuring my already shattered heart.
276 · Jun 2014
10w
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
10w
People only see the dead walking,
Not the living suffering.
271 · Jun 2014
Not Seeing You Is Hard
Hayley Anders Jun 2014
I love you so much;
More than I am, more than is, more than all,
And yet I can't look you in the eyes;
Just to tell you I miss you
Same guy when we were actually doing good...
268 · May 2014
It Was A Mistake
Hayley Anders May 2014
I know I ran away,
But I swear I'll come back to you someday.
These feelings are fleeting fast.
Why doesn't it ever last?
Do you even want me back?
'Cause every word from you feels like a heart attack.
I never meant to hurt you.
Now there's nothing I can do.
Can you look past the betrayal
From this stupid female?
I made one big mistake,
But my love for you was never fake.
255 · Aug 2018
Mnemophobia
Hayley Anders Aug 2018
I don't know if you remember me
A ghost from the past
Haunting you now
With all the pain that did last

I don't know if you remember me
A victim of your torture
Whispering the rumors that you started
Straight to the author

I don't know if you remember me
A light you liked to dim
Shining in your eyes
With bruises on every limb

I don't know if you remember me
But I remember you
Your past always comes back.
252 · May 2017
Color
Hayley Anders May 2017
What if the world is black and white
But love shows it to you in color?
Maybe I'm colorblind
236 · May 2014
No One
Hayley Anders May 2014
No one knows when you die,
No one knows when you cry,
And no one ever sees the tear in your eye
When you say your last goodbye.

It's sad but true
And I'd hate to give up on you,
But there's nothing left here
With all this manifested fear.

No one knows when you die,
No one knows when you cry,
And no one ever sees the tear in your eye
When you say your last goodbye.

My heart is ripped to shreds,
So I'll shut up and take these meds.
They'll numb the pain
For a girl with no more to gain.

So I'll close my eyes,
Say all my goodbyes,
And break all my ties
Because no one listens until somebody dies.
204 · May 2014
My Eyes
Hayley Anders May 2014
Peer in my eyes
Into my soul.
You can see clearly, I am not whole
With a heart that no longer flies
And dreams that only die.
There's no more use for me,
In this world full of apathy.
193 · Feb 2021
Little Wolf
Hayley Anders Feb 2021
Little wolf,
With your eyes so bright.
I see them shining
In the dark of night.

Little wolf,
With your teeth so white.
They remind me
Of the gleaming moonlight.

Little wolf,
With your paws of might.
Holding you up high
Ready for a fight.

Little wolf,
Why do you stand alone?
Won't you come to me?
Won't you come home?
187 · Sep 2019
Fight Back
Hayley Anders Sep 2019
Fight back.
Fight back?
How do you fight back when the monster's teeth are at your throat?
How do you fight back when its claws are tearing their way to your heart?
How do you fight back when you say no and it laughs?
A rumble you hear travel through its chest and out its mouth.
A laugh that feels like needles in your eyes as it picks tears to run down your face as you cry, "No! No! No!"
Fight back, they say.
But how?
184 · May 2014
Your Love
Hayley Anders May 2014
I want to be the one your arms miss when no one's near
    I want to be the one your heart beats for
        I want to be the one you love

            I want to be the one who makes you smile when you want to cry
                I want to be the one who chases away the doubts
                   I want to be the one you can't stop thinking of
                      I want to be the one you love

                          I want to be the one you dream of
                             I want to be the one you dream of
                                 I want to be the one you fight for
                                     I want to be the one you long for
                                        I want to be the one you adore
                                           I want to be the one you love
168 · Apr 2020
Hurt
Hayley Anders Apr 2020
I can't help you
And it's killing me.
So who's dying inside more?

— The End —