Stones,
Upon
The shore.

Shimmering,
So pure.

They pick
You up
All day,
Then toss
You
Out into
The
Ocean's Floor,
With
A single
Motion.

Ocean.

Listening
To
Waves,
Forever
An orchestra
Of their own.

Dip your
Toes,
In the ocean.

Stones
Are
Made
Of
Hard
Matter.

They
Don't
Shatter
Like
The
Flawed
Imperfection
Of
The
Human Condition.

Let
Them
Fall
Into
The Ocean.

My soul it is too gentle
It makes me feel the pain
That it feels when it cant sleep
And its driving me insane
My soul it is too weak
To continue day to day
to keep pretending i'm happy
to keep pretending i'm ok

I have depression.

I suspect I’ve had it for a long time.
It’s only recently I accepted it.

Having this,
is like have an insufferable house guest that just wouldn’t leave.
He was never invited.
I don’t even know why he’s even here.

He’s very persuasive.
He tells me things and shows me what I perceive to be my true value.
I know he likes it here and I’ve had him for so long that I have found strange comfort having him around.

At times, he may slip away without
me even knowing.
But at times, he’d show up.
He’d make a grand entrance.
He’d fuss.

But I’d still wouldn’t realise.

These days,
people know I’m not alone.
People know of him.
People read and watch videos of him.
I applaud them for trying to understand him.
And our relationship.

But it saddens me and it fuels him when the aids don’t do him any justice.
They just allow people to think they know better.
They think they’ve been educated and can start to administer help.
They assume that you’re not heeding their advice.
They think you don’t even try.

But again I applaud them...
For trying so very hard.

This is me and I have a house guest that I’m sincerely trying to manage.



I have depression.

Finally trying doors.
      Looking for spaces that would have me.
        Looking for spaces that’d fit.

Most knobs...
                       Cold.

   They haven’t been touched in a while.
I’ve never bothered to try them.

     They’d probably would open up to empty spaces.

How fitting...
     An empty space for an empty soul.

Let the rain fall down on me
Let it cool down all the anger in me
Like it cools down the the hot ground after a harsh summer
Let it soften my heart
Like it does to the rock hard dry ground
After a brutal sun burn

Let the rain fall down on me
Let it clean my soul
like it does to the dusty streets after a windy day
let it raise my joy
like the water levels rise after a heavy rain

let the rain fall down on me
let it spring new life in me
like it does to the dead plants after the first rain
let it put everything in order
like it restores the earth every time it rains

let the rain fall down on me...