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Hello, my dearest, my loveliest.
I haven't met you just yet - at least not physically, even though I have seen you many times in my future. In fact, I think I'm in love with you already, and it will be really awkward when I meet you, because when I finally do, I will know, in my very heart of hearts that it is YOU. I will remember what I've already seen, and it will feel right to touch you, to look at you. Just hearing your laughter will make me whole. And I will know it's you.
You will know exactly what kind of coffee I want from Starbucks - you won't forget that I prefer soy milk, you'll know exactly how much sugar (brown!) I take, you'll know what name I want written on the cup - and I won't have to tell you. You won't just let me wear your clothes - you'll hide mine, so that I have no other choice but put your shirt on. You'll know how I like my tea - because that's how you like it too. You'll make waffles for breakfast, and I will frown at you for trying to make me fat, and you'll stuff my mouth with waffles to shut me up. When our little flat needs cleaning, you'll turn the volume up, and sing Queen's I want to break free as you vacuum and I wipe the dust. We'll take turns pushing each other in the cart until they throw us out of the supermarket. You'll order pizza (vegetarian, even though you're not one) and download the new Doctor Who episode when I work late, and come home tired and starved. You'll scold me for smoking and for drinking too much coffee, but will secretly make sure there's always instant coffee in the cupboard and a blanket on the balcony for my midnight smokes. You'll kiss my forehead and make me soup and take my textbooks away when I'm overdoing it. You'll teach me how to eat Chinese with chopsticks and you'll order foreign cuisine and eat from the takeaway boxes when you know we're both too lazy to do the dishes. And when we do do the dishes, we'll end up wet and covered in foam every time, because at the end of the day, we're both three-year-olds. You'll fall asleep on my belly as I read The Lord of the Rings aloud to you, and you'll have Harry Potter marathons with me when my exams are over. You'll always beat me at video games and try to spoil me the new comic book issue I haven't had time to read yet, and every time I'm cross with you, you'll start humming The Rains of Castamere, and you'll hang Targaryen banners on our walls when you're trying to please me. And when we feel like it, we'll have karaoke nights, and even though we both can't sing, we'll scream at the top of our lungs until the neighbours come knocking at the door. We'll go travelling and you'll always let me drive, and you'll never get tired of taking pictures of and with me. When the time comes, you'll propose with the One ring, like I've always wanted to. Even my parents will like you, surprisingly. We'll have our catchphrase and our inside jokes, and we'll understand each other with a mere look. You'll like what I write, but will always give me reasons why you like it, so that I always know you're not being biased. You'll find faults, too, and will let me know, and that's how I'll know it's you. We will watch singalong versions of Camp Rock and High School Musical, and sing along we will. And we'll tickle each other breathless, and we'll have surprise pillow fights. We'll always spend Christmas alone, eating takeaway and drinking hot chocolate and we'll have Weasley-style Christmas sweaters. We'll have a Doctor Who themed wedding, like we've both always wanted to. You won't mind me rumbling random unrelated history facts and ranting about biological inaccuracies in books and movies, and you'll join me in my social justice rants.We'll **** wherever - on the floor, on the table, on the couch, in the bathroom, sometimes even on the bed. You'll always take the blanket, and I'll hate it. You'll hate my eggplant lasagna and the way I always kick my shoes off. I'll hate your annoying habit of never ******* the toothpaste top, and always leaving the lights on. But those are things we can live with.
I don't know how you look or what your talent is, or how old your are, or how big your family is. I don't know where you grew up, I don't know you yet, I don't know anything about you. But I know I'll love you to bits, and so will you, and I can't wait to meet you, my loveliest.
Yours always.
 Sep 2014 harlee kae
abby
:)
 Sep 2014 harlee kae
abby
:)
it's so surreal that at 12:19 a few months ago I would have been crying and complaining about how bad I have it and at 12:19 tonight I am probably the happiest I have ever been because I decided I should stop feeling sorry for my self and maybe actually enjoy life and there are tears streaming down my face as I type this but they're the happy kind i am so proud of how far I've gotten and how far im going to go i finally love myself and i am confident and oh my goodness i can't believe i'm where i am everything is so good
the best part is when people ask me how I'm so happy all the time
My loyalty seems to run too deep
Unfortunately for the wrong people.
But, my loyalty is so pure and innocent
That we could be fighting
Over the same problem for weeks
Or maybe months and honey,
I would still stay by your side.
You keep taking
And I keep giving.
Maybe that's why I am so empty.
 Sep 2014 harlee kae
aura
untitled
 Sep 2014 harlee kae
aura
i think we're both afraid.
i don't know what you're afraid of
but i'm afraid of putting my heart out on the line
it's been broken before even when i wasn't trying
and if it makes any sense i feel like if you broke it
it would be beyond repair
because i feel more for you than i've felt for anyone before
i'm afraid of telling you how i feel and you not feeling the same
not because of the rejection
but because i never let people in
and to think that i let you in only for you to decide to knock on another door
seems like too much to bear
i'm afraid because i've never done a brave thing in my life
and i can't imagine taking this step without knowing how the story ends
but most of all i'm afraid
because this could be everything i've ever wanted
and the sheer magnitude of it all
is the scariest thing i can imagine.
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