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Gwendolyn Jun 2014
My sister said I didn't raise myself
And maybe, in some ways I didn't.
But she doesn't understand
Just because we had babysitters
And that people were around
Doesn't mean that they raised me.

All my life I have been taking care of the people I love.
My friends
My family
Making sure if someone got hurt,
It was me.

My sister said that she grew up fast
But I grew up faster.
If I was to be loved then I had to be old,
I had to be an adult.

I'm not saying my life was always hell.
But if it was, then my family were demons
And I was the queen.

I protected my people
From a throne made of broken dreams
And a lost childhood.

The black on my soul will not
Wash off. But I was just protecting them.
I was their savior

**But they didn't know it
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
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Gwendolyn Jun 2014
Ask me why I am sad
Ask me why I no longer stay around to talk
Ask me why I have bags under my eyes
Ask me why I flinch when someone raises a hand near me

Ask ME

Don't ask my exbestfriend
Don't ask my parents
Don't ask any of my current friends

Because they are the reason
But they don't even know
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
Its hell inside my head
With monsters that would make the Winchesters cringe
Scratching the walls
Breaking every good thing in me

My emotions are dead
Insanity has driven me way past the fringe
I've started to fall
Locked in a room with no key

They said I would fail
Somehow knowing my future was grim
I'm useless, you know
Crashing and burning

My dreams had set sail
But my chances of getting on that boat were slim
It was really all for show
That's what I'm slowly learning

I realize I'm broken
I know I can't be fixed
The fates have spoken
*Don't tell me I'll be missed
Gwendolyn Jun 2014
"Shes useless."  My dad whispers to my mom
Talking about another mistake
"Shut the **** up!" My dad yells at my face
Stopping me from contradicting his hurtful words
"Why can't she do anything right?" My dad mutters to himself
Staring at my below average report card

If you ask me why I never tryout for anything
I'll say, "I'm useless."
If you ask me why I've stopped talking
I'll say, "I need to shut the **** up."
If you ask me why I sit and do nothing
I'll say, "I can't do anything right."

*All he ever does is tell me how I have messed up 107 ways in life, and then wonders why we never talk.
Gwendolyn May 2014
I just don't care about anything anymore
All I want to do
Is get ****** up
Get ******
And have fun.
Gwendolyn May 2014
I'm afraid of you
You make me loopy
And put my walls down
You have a direct shot
At my heart
You could **** me in an instant
You could shatter me

I'm afraid of losing you
You make me forget my problems
And help me open up to people
You know me
What's in my heart
You could save me
You could heal me

I (don't) need you
I (don't) want you
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