where did the hatred come from?
who planted it who watered it who let it grow
like a **** choking me
where in history or my family tree
I close my eyes
I am a butterfly, and the flap of my wings
could move mountains
could topple empires
and so I follow the twisted roots of hatred
to their source
I fly to England in 1611
this time, this time
as my wings beat against the air
the translators know
that malakoi and arsenokoitai condemn pederasty
not men who love each other as equals
or men who are strong enough
to be soft
I fly to a time that never happened
to a place that never was
but that is somehow no less real
I am the first butterfly, in the garden of Eden
the first human watches me in awe
and as I come to rest on their hand,
they give me my name
and the glittering of my shiny blue wings
catches the eyes of all humanity to come
draws their attention to the first human
and they see the truth:
a chimera, both male and female
created in G-d's image, both male and female
I am flying above the crowd at Mount Sinai
and my wings shape the air
it cups their ears to G-d’s mouth
and they hear the silence between the words
as they listen to what could not be understood then,
but what is understood now:
do not ****
do not use *** to humiliate
I follow the roots back
as they disappear
and there is no more hatred,
fear, or misunderstanding
but the dream ends
and in this life
I am still only a caterpillar
will I live to be a butterfly?
when my father and mother leave me
G-d will gather me in
G-d, my father, and my mother bird
G-d is my refuge and stronghold
my G-d who I trust
will save me from the hunter's trap
from the deadly plague
G-d will cover me with Their wings
under which I find refuge
until I grow my own wings
and I will not fear the terrors at night
or the arrows that fly by day.
if you would let my wings draw your eyes to see the first human, and cup your ears to hear the silence between words, I direct you to "Wrestling With God and Men" by Rabbi Steven Greenberg.