Depression:
It rips you apart
Skin by
skin,
Bone by
bone,
Cell by
cell.

It's the 2AM thoughts that never leave your mind. Mind. Constantly thinking, hesitating, deciding, wondering,
Why?
Why is my mind a grenade of
pain; anytime sadness seeps into my bones an explosion of emptiness evokes me.
Alone.
I am an enemy of my own being; the creator of my own
darkness.

Depression:
It's a canvas of negative emotions.
The smile engraved on your face.
The black hole in your chest.
The bruises on your knees.
The blood on your wrists.
The tears in your eyes.
The pain

The secrets I keep
are deep.

I'd say
it's better to keep it at bay.

But you insist
And now you can't resist

The girl who was once a stranger
is now a danger
To You.

I can feel your sadness
It courses through my veins
I feel it burning, aching,
Yet hoping away the pain

I can feel your tears
Flowing vicariously through mine
Rolling silently down my cheek
Settling on my lips, like wine

I can taste your pain
Bitterness upon my tongue
Numbing poison; breathing it in
Settling inside my lung

I could take the hurt away
I could make you feel whole
Just please let me back in
Allow me back into your soul

Act One
Scene: a blue room with white curtains all drawn together tight
A broken record player filling my mouth with buzzing noise
You sit on the couch the way a queen sits on a conquered city
My eyes blind themselves with the dark of your hair

Time: When the sun and the moon collide

This is the part where I meet you
Where I really meet you
Where I get to know the inside of your cheek
The beating of your fluttery heart
The bruises on your sides like blooming roses
The soft hush of your words melting into my mouth

We play at lovers in a game that isn't our own

Act Two
Scene: Flashing lights sending the room into a flurry of technicolor madness
A bottle of ***** burning my throat like swallowed wooden matches
In a sea of movement you turn into a deity all on your own
My hands shake from the inside out and it is nothing, it is nothing

Time: When the waves engulfed the shore

This is the part where I hate you
Where I don't really hate you
But I hate him and him and her and him
And the way you are holding on to bones that are not my own
The clawing at my chest
The blood spinning in my head
The way you mean everything to me
And I don't even cast a shadow in your world
The way you shine and all I can do is long

I never meant for jealousy to wear my skin like a tailored suit

Act Three
Scene: An empty street and a lonely light
Jagged bricks digging into the soft part of my neck
You lean on a car and you don't look me in the eye
My tongue bleeds from all the words I cannot say

Time: When the stars fall from the sky

This is the part where I lose you
Except that I don't really lose you
Because in order to lose something, you must first have it
And I never had you
But I did keep your butterfly laugh in the cracks between my ribs
Your favorite lipstick in the pocket of my jacket
The broken shards of your full length mirror buried in my hands

I knew some people always loved more, always loved less, but I never knew you didn't love at all

Act Four
Scene: a blue room with white curtains all drawn tight
A broken record player imitating life
You are nowhere to be found  and yet your ghost keeps popping around
My spine creaks from the weight of the world, of love, of you

Time: When the moon stills sing for the morning light

This is the part where I wait for you
Where I really wait for you
Because I am stupid and naive and hopelessly hopeful
And maybe it's pathetic
But I'm still waiting for the sound of your heavy footsteps
Your red sweater on my desk
The warmth of your presence
For you to love me back

I'm still waiting for you to come back