Our prayers fall flat and hollow
Shouting into a void that cannot hear us
We are raging at the night, the dead light
Fury, always fury towards finality

Waves that beach us on sand
Then drag us back under riptides
And we scream and swallow salt water
Still screaming while our lungs fill

Fists pounding on glass doors
Always looking into mirrored rooms
We see the destruction, fire tombs,
Apocalyptic visage only you see

Closed doors. And now empty beds
The wasted town sleeping restless
Fitful dreams of Reapers amongst men
The cold loving embrace of Death's gentle caress

Our prayers fall flat and hollow
We may never recover.

Now I swim until the shore is gone

Such fury in her old bones
Ancient anger, generations deep
Like the roots of trees
Sunken and embedded into earth
wild woman

Forest nymph
She who thrives on sunlight
And grows ever upwards
With the flowers of her home
wild woman

The Moon's child and silver sun
Ebbs and flows with the waves
Riding currents and rips in sea
Under the nightly tide
wild woman

We are the bones of the earth
We are the stem that reaches sky
We are the strongest currents
*We are wild women

Your words are dull knives
With a tendency to leave a bruise
Who taught you to speak bullets
Without considering the exit wound?
Are we simply soldiers
Marching in fields of decaying youth
Or are we stars, burning out,
Supernovas of mistaken truths?

We will drown in the rain, the waves, trembling under the thunderous voices of those who oppose us. We are more than flesh and blood, we are stardust.

Let your ribs be the iron cage
That winged hearts of men fear
Let your eyes hold such depth
All who gaze be lost there, always
Let your arms be lovely yet strong
May you contest with Atlas
As you both hold up the world
Let tears be not weakness
But rivers that cut their path
Through the stone mountains of your cheeks
Let lips hold words of faith and courage
May you speak truthfully
May you be harsh when called for
Let your voice shake the earth
You are nature herself
You bleed the Golden Ichor of Gods
And where it falls, flowers grow
Let your heart be the strong Oak
And your capillaries, roots
The sky will bend for you
The birds will sing for you
The world will love you
But love yourself, first.

It is in these dark nights
That I look behind me
And see the carnage i have wrought
And the people I have laid to waste
I am a falsehood, an accidental lie
I proffess love and compassion
And display a heartlessness
Without thought of consequence
I mean not to hurt or harm
Those who make me smile
But I cannot stop, it so seems
I am a tornado
A hurricane
I will tear down your cities
I will flood your lungs
And I will be sorry for it;
Do not forgive, do not forgive

I am not congruent
If you open me up
You will find mismatched bones
And the disjointedness of me

Every jungle has a snake
I am in the garden of Eden
And my peers feel like
They are the conspirators

I am loved, often
He holds me and I sleep
But nothing is perfect
Nothing can stay, not even him

I am brittle and fragile
My bones break on a nightly basis
My mother fears I'll crumble
We all turn to ash, one day

He'll tell me he loves me
Because he knows I'll say it back
And I say that I love him
Because I want him to still pretend
He'll break my heart one day
I'll never leave him first
We lie together, for now at least
The game will end one day
I already know who'll lose

It is always raining
On the outermost edges,
In the alleyways and
All through the subway streets
Inside,
Outside,
The snow and the hail and the goddamed rain
It pours through the cracks
Of my heart

i have written poetry and I have talked to gods . I have seen stars burn and species die. I have loved and I have lost and i spent years running from the devil and god before I found they were reflections in water. Its all fake. The sun. The sky. The sinner's prayer. All that's real is the blood of lovers and the poems of the sick and the ******

The cowering man in his creaking chair
To be lonely, desolate, empty
Devoid of that humanity we claim was bestowed so kindly
He rocks and he rocks,
back and forth
Lunging at the cruel world that created him
Turned him, twisted and ugly
God is real
The Devil is real too
And they're both in the same chair

to be swept away in tides
the waves of love that come and go
finding myself in abandoned manor houses
where the ivy grows thick
and nature runs amok among carnage
lost in bookshelves and a thousand adventures
i can come and go as i please
no rules, no regulations
the stars above and the ground below
i am grounded here but not chained
constellations free to awaken the night
I look at the lost things, the treasures
that this world has to offer
and it becomes so much brighter
so much more *wild

Ah my, old loves, new loves,
Old loves born anew.
First loves, last loves
loves you gave yourself to
Empty loves, whole loves
Loves not quite complete
Tragic loves, daring loves
Ah you sweep me off my feet
My loves, my love
The only one I've known
True love, brief love
**My love you are my home

What must I say to keep you here?
What concepts must I concoct to resume your feelings of comfort?
How many miles must the road take me until your heart is within sight, or reach?
I will circle the world a hundred, no, a thousand thousand times for you
If it meant you would not leave
I would disappear into crevices and find jewel hilted blades
Just so you could cut my heart out if you wanted
I would sell my soul and more just for your smile
Accept this home, this love, without need of my emptiness and know that you are what makes me whole

I know those eyes, that look,
He would swallow the world whole if it meant he felt less empty.

Thank you for your patience
with my little fragile heart
I promise I'll be strong soon,
just strong enough to part
I want to know what you ache for
what courses through your bones
I hope, to you, love is more
than a temporary home,
I belong to leap years
and forests as far as sky,
though I still retain my little fears
my fragile heart soon shall fly

She looked like the heavens
But she felt like hell
Her love was pure
But empty as well

She was broken and hurting,
Tied together with thread
But she had a passion within her
A flame, bright and red

She was lovely and lonely
An angel on earth
But the devil had kissed her
And she knew not her worth

The passion is dying
Her flame burning dim
The thread is unveiling
Freeing her devil within,

The angel has fallen
The flame is but ash
The heavens have ruptured
She has faded at last.

Out by the sunsest
Where lovers lie
And smoke by the river
Drinking ashen wine
Gone are the eyes
With moonlit shine
Now only tombstones
Reading "mine"
Of all creations
With concepts of time
Lonely are the lovers
Born to die.

Like quicksand
I do sink.
I am waiting
For the world
To swallow me
All
Up

He tasted like the salt
That rolled off my cheekbones
And his eyes were like the soil
In them I saw love growing
I saw him growing
I saw other worlds in the golden flecks
Of his iris'
And I knew that one day
This love would come to pass
And I've come to realise
My prayers are cigarettes
They take the heartache away
But then they turn to ash
Like our love will
*Like our love did

The snow settles on rooftops
The quiet of the town echoing
And thundering
In the confines of these walls
Nothing but the pitter patter
Of rain and hail on windows
Trying to break through
And be bullets to my skin
The clouds are like shadows to me
My every movement, followed
And you are the rain
A torrential downpour on my shoulders
No rest and no sleep and no luxuries
Only the rain and the clouds and you
You are January 3rd
When it snowed and snowed
Until the cold was a second skin
Trying to rip through the walls
Of my love and my heart
And the fire is dying
And our love is dying
And the rain pours on and on

I am gazing up through mirrored glass
At dreams and aspirations once abundant in my mind
I watch them as they float overhead
Sorrowful, and mourning at the distance, the barriers
But in this mirrored glass
I see only my own mourning
And the sorrow of my life fragmenting
And slipping away amongst the riptides
Whilst currents pull me under and under
Where I stare at my own failures
I am thousands of fathoms deep
And still sinking

Those lovely thoughts you once had
now gather dust in the backs of your mind
in the crevices and nooks
where you bury the happy moments
so you don't have to remember the sun
while you sit in your cave of pain.
and I miss your lovely thoughts
I miss the way you would look to the sun
and laugh as the light danced across your skin
I miss your eyes and the gleam they took
when you thought of something dumb to do
at 3am when our parents thought we were sleeping
I miss your smile, your sunlight
the flowers that grew as you walked
you are far from me now, so far
in a darkness that the sun cannot reach
but I will find you, my light, my life.
I will lead us home.

I will create oceans and rivers
From the tears that flow from my eyes
And they will envelop the shores
Formed in the crest of my torso,
The valleys that lay in between my *******
Will protect wildlife from the raging winds
Of my breaths, and the shaking earth
Of my heartbeat
My thoughts will form stars and planets
And I will create my own galaxies
My fingertips will be the roots of trees that will stretch ever onwards
I will grow and I will grow
And I will destroy as I please
No laws hold me
For I am my own universe
Unbidden, unbound.

The rain falls hard and heavy against my window pane
A drumming beat that echoes in my mind
Each droplet is a heartbeat
Each clash of thunder, a scream
The heavens are awake and they are angry
Let the rains come
Let the flood drown this town
And sweep the corrupt from their homes
And rock the broken in their waves
Let the heavens open and the storm surge
Feel the drums, the power
We are angry
The world is angry
All power to the people.

I feel like I am my own Earth
I will keep giving and giving
And people will keep using and using
Until finally I am empty
Depleted of any substance
That once kept me whole
I am the earth because every time
I am broken and destroyed
I grow back stronger
But there will come a time
When the blows to my roots
Are so strong, and my cuts so deep
There is no rebirth, no healing.
I will have given all I can.
It is coming soon, I feel it
In my crooked and broken bones
And I will let it **** me,
As is my purpose
And my destruction

Words will not roll from my tongue
Like waves against the shore
They will tumble and collapse
Breaking, like rocks on a cliff
And I will shut my eyes
Before anyone sees them fill
With the tides of a thousand seasons
I will hold back the flood water
And I will smile like the sun smiles
Down to the flowers below
And they smile back
Waving and swaying in the breeze
Laughing and giddy at their freedom
And these tides will stay
Encased behind my eyes
And no one
Not the sun, the flowers, not even
The moon
Will know what I have done
To keep these storms at bay.

I take my coffee black because it tastes like your kisses and I sleep in the middle of my bed now so that the empty space where you used to lay doesn't feel so wide and you don't feel so far away. I miss you and your stupid laugh and the way you would stare at me when I smiled. God I miss all of you and its only now I realise that this coffee is useless because nothing on this earth could possibly compare to you.
Come back.

Today I learnt that as humans we need 8 positive touches every day to function properly, and I recalled that I barely even hug my own mother anymore. No pat on the head well done or a hand to hold
****
How do I explain to the teachers at school that the reason I don't do my homework is because I feel like I'm losing my ******* mind and all I can think about is relapse and then being strong for those I love
******* hell what is a life without purpose? What's my purpose? Who am I ? Where am I going? Who will I be? Who the hell has these answers because they're not in any textbook nor poem I just want to ******* sleep.
I don't even dream anymore.

The more I try not to think about you
About us
About what we could've been
The more I realise that I should never have given you up.
For nothing and no one. Jesus, you know me better than I know myself
My kinks and quirks and how I take my coffee
I know you too darling. I know how you prefer sunsets to sunrises and I know that you can't stand how I take my coffee. I know about the hurt you've endured and the scars you got along the way, just as you know mine. God, you're golden to me, fluorescent and completely enchanting.
And you're not even mine

I had my chance and I missed it.
Threw it away because of one friends ****** opinion
Don't get me wrong I was mad for a while,
You, with your body next to a girl that isn't me
Sleeping innocently, I don't think you could hurt me like she said you did.
You were my sunrise man, my sunset, and everything in between.
You were every shade of black and white
And I threw that away because I questioned my trust in you.
Why?? Why did I do that?
Because now you are next to a girl who isn't me
And you love her
And she loves you
And I miss you
But I'll never tell.
You be happy, I had you and I gave you up. That was my mistake, and your opportunity.
I'm sorry, I miss you, don't come back.

I must jinx myself
With every line and phrase
Because I wrote that
I could love him
But some boys are cold
And no matter how much
You care for them
They'll somehow
Break your heart

YOU TORE MY HEART OUT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS AND WHILE I CRIED YOU LAUGHED. I SPAT OUT BLOOD WHEN YOU KISSED ME YOURE NO FRIEND OF MINE YOU'RE A ******* DISEASE. I SEE YOU IN MY NIGHTMARES YOU ******, DO YOU SEE ME IN YOURS?

He's got these eyes, they're so blue oh god its like the ocean and the sky are touching and his smile could melt stone and break hearts but I don't think he'd break mine. And he has these arms that he uses to pull me closer and he holds me when I can't sleep and his lips, jesus, his lips are intoxicating and I get so drunk when he kisses me on my cheek and my mouth and I can't hold him any closer but skin to skin just isn't enough. This all feels like a dream, not I, I can't be this lucky. But here he is, smoking a cigarette and looking at me with those blue, blue eyes if this is a dream don't wake me up.

We danced in a darkened room,
love spilling around us
like ribbons and silk
and I swear I saw the universe
in those winter blue eyes
I could get lost in you
And I did, I did
and you became lost in black holes
that crept in your arms
and caused rifts between us
when we danced.
I dance alone now
under a winter blue sky,
no ribbons, no silk.
They say the good die young
but why do the good
have to die at all?

You are the heavy rain,
I am the grassland
plagued with drought.
Love me, cover me,
help me heal myself.

She was the sort of girl who wore her pain like a mask. Concealing every flicker of hope that could show, in case the demons that lurked in corners snatched that hope away and gobbled it up into their ever-hungry bellies. She was the girl who saw constellations in the faces of those she loved most but black holes in her own irises, and the all too familiar fear that was like a second shadow to her, cloaking her and making her see cities burn in her dreams and worlds die at her feet. She was the storm and the calm, broken and whole. She was all and nothing at once, and when that was too much pressure she became the whirlpool of pain she had always kept leashed. This girl collapsed in on herself and the world held its breath until she resurfaced.
It is still holding its breath.

I'll go to my grave
Like a moth to a flame
And the wax shall drip
On my wings
And amidst all the fire
And the putrid desire
Of wanting you
And your blessed things
That keep me awake
In the midnight earthquake
That tremors deep
In my soul
I'll love you in life
And death is no trife
I'll love you broken,
Mended, or whole.

There is a thirst in my heart that i cannot quench. The thirst for more
More love, more knowledge, more hope, more life. I am hollow inside despite the butterflies in my stomach and the stardust in my veins, I could swallow the universe and still be hungry I am broken and lost but there are maps on my eyelids and my heart is a compass i am learning to control. I will be swept away with every prominent wind and i will fall into oceans looking for that perfect grain of sand. I am not obsessed with perfection I am looking for you, under every rock and in every blade of grass, even in the roots of the trees that  were already here when the earth was new, i am searching and searching and i cannot find you. So i will stay here amidst the stars and hope that soon you will look up to the constellations and you will find me.