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2.5k · Oct 2018
PONKAN
angellica Oct 2018
Sigurado na akong hindi na ako yung batang iyon.

Marupok, madaling masaktan at iyakin, pagdating sayo.
Hindi na ako yung batang gabi-gabing tumatambay sa may bintana,
kahit na pinapapak na ng lamok, nagtyatyaga paring hintayin ang tawag mo,
umaasang marinig muli ang boses mo bago matulog.

Sigurado na akong hindi na ako yung batang nasasaktan pag sinabi **** ayaw mo na,
dahil wala rin naman tayong patutunguhan,
hindi na ako yung batang halos tumalon sa tawa pag bigla ka ulit nagparamdam,
hindi na ako yung batang hinanahanp ka pag nasasaktan,
hindi na ako yung batang gustong magsumbong pag inaaway na ako ng boung mundo

yung gustong gustong magsabi na masaya ang araw ko,
yung batang malulungkot pag binabalewala mo,
hindi na ako yung batang yun.
Hindi na ako.

Yung batang nangarap na makasama ka,
na makasama kang pagmasdan ang kagandahan ng buwan sa gabi
na pinilit bilangin ang mga bituin kahit alam nating imposible.
Hindi na ako yung batang tinatangay ng bawat pagkanta,
yung batang tatalon basta sabihin mo,
hindi narin ako yung batang gusto paggising ikaw ang katabi,

yung batang simpleng lambing mo lang abot tenga na yung mga ngiti.
Hindi na rin ako yung batang palaging hinihintay ang pagsasabi mo ng ‘iloveyou’,
kasi sa salitang iyon nakokompleto na ako
Hindi na ako yung batang puro pangalan mo lang ang bukambibig o ang libangan ay isipin at panaginipan ka gabi gabi,
hindi na ako yung batang nababasa lang ang pangalan mo napapangiti na ako.
Hindi na ako yung batang saiyo lang umikot ang mundo,
ang batang sinubukang maging kung sino ang pinapangarap mo.

Hindi na ako yung batang umasa na sana mahalin mo rin ng totoo.
Hindi na ako yung batang iyon. Hindi na po!
a poem written 10 years ago...
527 · Feb 2020
mahal kita
angellica Feb 2020
mahal kita,
sigurado akong mahal kita..

kahit sa pagkakataong nakakalimutan **** kailangan din kita,
kahit sa mga panahong kaysa sa akin ay may pinili kang iba...

mahal kita,
sukdulan hanggang langit kumbaga,

kaya noong unang beses mo akong binalewala,
hindi ako nagtampo bagkus inintindi kita..

mahal kita,
kung may sobra pa sa sobra..

kaya't sa paglisan mo ngayon ako'y nagtataka,
tunay bang ako ang pinili nung pinili kita..

mahal kita,
mga salitang laging sambit sayo ng aking mga labi,

mahal kita,
mga salitang dahil sa labis na pagmamahal sayo'y nakalimutan kong sabihin sa aking sarili.
angellica Dec 2018
it's funny how society,
creates a box of mockery,
you're thin, you're thick,
you're curly, you're sleek,
all of us scrutinized
with a measuring  stick
of the standards brought
by the noble and the great,
don't do this, don't do that,
do this, do that
that's your purpose
and nothing else to add
"think outside the box",
now you know where that came from,
like being righteous
and normal is a ******* fandom,
say this, not that,
be this, not that,
always walk the line,
always be on time,
kiss this kind of guy,
marry a woman,
all these bandwagon,
all these rules,
we are all forced into a mold,
cutting all our edges,
cutting the things that make us great..
321 · Dec 2019
paano yung....
angellica Dec 2019
paano yung hindi naman masakit,
kasi pinili **** bumitaw kaysa kumapit,

paano yung kaya kong mag - isa,
kasi para sayo, pag - ibig ko'y wala ng bisa,

paano yung mawawala din yung lungkot,
pati lahat ng pait ng pag - iwan mo saki'y dulot,

paano yung ako na wala ka,
paano yung tayo na wala na?

paano ako?
250 · Oct 2018
but you lied
angellica Oct 2018
you said she was your everything,
anything with her is in perfect timing,
life with her is what your dreams are made of,
everything for her you created with love.

you said she is the one,
your truth and your person,
you crave for her every minute of the day,
just the thought of her can make you feel okay

it was fairy tale..
but you lied!
angellica Oct 2018
wrists marked by your terror and violence
screams that i kept to mask my resistance

i don't wanna be here anymore
be overshadowed by you and your terror

twisted and turned by your diabolical stare
you wrecked me, shredded nothing else to bare

i don't want this anymore
be choked and stepped on whenever you're a bore

silently, i died and you witness it every night
but to you it seems that it is a precious sight

i don't want you anymore
be awaken by your frightening roar

i beg you stop stepping out my closet,
stop getting in to my brain...

before i lost it.
233 · Oct 2018
R O P E
angellica Oct 2018
she smiled, as if everything's okay,
but deep inside she's ready to melt and decay

she's keeping her hopes up, just in case
the day wont let her even have her own place

in this world seems that she's a lost stranger
she cried at night, making things worst and graver

i saw her one time, she stared at me
as if she knows my secrets and my whole entity

i sigh, she sigh and both of us cried
we bare the same scar, both of our souls now dried

i tried to touch her, but i end up hurting her instead
i ruined the beauty that in her eyes i can only read

i tried to wash away those tears, but she said "leave me here"
the chair where she used to stand now lie just beneath her

yes, i was looking in the mirror the same time i tied that rope.
227 · Oct 2018
doubt
angellica Oct 2018
will i ruin romance? for trying to make it last?
was it a normal human glitch to not forget the past?
was it a part of the inevitable human fate,
for us to experience heart ache?

when the first thought you had when you fell hard,
"i'll be ******! if this won't last, it will hurt so bad."
we always expect the worst in every situation,
like love is just a mere brain chemical reaction.

will it last?
will he cheat?
will i survive this?
will this break me again into tiny bits?
204 · Oct 2018
for you
angellica Oct 2018
how can i liken that smile to a bright sunshine,
how can i compare the touch of your lips to a feather like rain,
how can i write this piece without even wondering,
is there anything on earth that compares to you, my everything?

how can i arrange these words, when just a thought of you can derail it,
how can i use the letters to describe the flame in me you lit,
how can i describe the feeling without even catching my breath,
when even just your name, my heart and soul will melt.

how can i state the warmth of your embrace without understating this,
how can i tell you how i feel without wondering what i missed,
how can these letters, words and rhymes be ever enough
when you my love, have given me so much.
mylo
195 · Nov 2018
dear boyfriend,
angellica Nov 2018
i hate the way you talk over me,
i feel invalidated and a rejectee,
i hate the way you make me feel,
like i am not even supposed to feel,
i hate the way you convince me
that my emotions are unreal.
i hate when you make me feel alone,
even we are together
and you're always on your phone,
i hate the way you prioritize other things,
like i'm always the last in your every listings,
i hate the way i cry at night,
and you seem not to care,
i hate that i'm sad,
and still blame me for it.
i hate that you make me second guess myself,
doubts and worries will then flood my head,
i hate the way you fail me multiple times,
then act like its no big of deal,
and i hate that they don't even rhyme,
i hate that i spent too much time thinking of you,
and you spent too much time avoiding to argue,
i hate that i often thought i was so special to you,
but it seems that i am just another shade of glitter and blue,
i hate that i say things that i hate about you,
and still find one thing to love even though..

at the end of the day, i still freaking hate you!
words left unsaid that keeps me up all night
185 · Oct 2018
the fight
angellica Oct 2018
i shouted at you and you then screamed
noise filled the room instead of dreams

i broke down crying because everything stings
words been uttered and the broken things

i wont back down and so do you,
this fight made us both in black and blue

those endless accusations and endless curse
and then silence cause our throat now hurts

i took and deep breath and looked at you,
our eyes met, tears are falling, too

you said you're sorry, so did i
we ended up sharing this deep sigh

"are we over?", not praying for a nod
"the fight is over, but we are not"
128 · Sep 2018
my ocean
angellica Sep 2018
i look at your eyes and i feel like drowning,
reality hit me, your ocean i can't swim,
but i found myself entangled with your touch like waves,
gasping for air again, myself I can't save...

— The End —