my hands are confined in a loose bracelet like tape, supressing my hands and my feet together
my mind is in it's own finger trap, each cord struggling to get out
The only person that turned the keys was right here in front of me all along.

The mirror was stained with a dark blue shade, the shade of which you would put into the light to see it was navy dark blue or just plain black.

All I ever wanted was to be held, to have someone wipe away my tears and say that it is all okay.

Except I already had that. I held myself back from being able to as much as look at myself in the mirror without shattering myself, I wiped away my own tears before I walked out of my room for the first time since I got home from school hours ago, I say it is okay everyday when he says sorry for the millionth time.

The mirror isn't a mirror anymore, it's just a window into hell.

I was born in the past and now I am molded by it
I am a loner with no rest
A rest with no sound
A sound with no depth of which will be put into an orchestra
Only to be overheard as the deep melodies play out into the air
And make the song play against the sky where we would pest the tide

I looked up into the sky, only to realize how my head was just so high
High into the starlit night as I continued to lie to give myself a smile
That took such a long while to make
I keep wondering how the differences would be made between us
Whether it would be you to make the change
Or whether it would be I to make the first wave
I keep wondering when it’ll happen
Whether it will be today at 10
Or on Monday at 7
Would we actually talk this year
Or would we continue to lay our heads down in a puddle of fear
Not letting each other grow and change our ways
Ways that made us waste our day
Just to spend them crying into a river
As the cold wind would give us a shiver down our spines
I looked up into the sky, only to realize it is a dream
A dream of us being a team for each other and sharing our weeps
Making us feel less alone and make each other see
How we are meant to be

My nose is runny
God knows which illness it’s from
My head is hurting
I don’t know how it’s still on
I am still aching
After all the breaking that was done
I am still burning
Oh how the table’s turning

No one had a part in this self rightous suicide
Everyone was afraid of what would be my homicide
It isn’t okay to do
It is terrible if you continue to refuse to conform
You can’t make yourself happy
Just calm down and let us make the rules

My nose is runny
God knows which illness it’s from
My death is coming
It sure knows how to haunt
I am still lying
That I am alright
I am still crying
That they already got a bite

Now I am running
God knows where I am really from
My end is coming
Who Knows if it’s the real one?
I am still dying
But I know how to hide
From the ones who are in control
Who make everything so dull

I know how much you hate
I know how much you want to say
That I stopped loving you and we could go back to the same

Sometimes I would wonder what would happen if we stayed up to date
up to date with each other
and not abandoning one another

I wonder what would happen if we stopped with the stares
If we were able to just be next to each other without a tear
slipping down instead of just pass each other on the way

I want to know if it really matters to you
The same way it does to me
To me it is my big case
To you it seems like you lost your space

I am sorry for the annoyance I made
I hope that it was the confidence that I gave
to make up for the history we have shared
that made it too much to bare

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we gave each other a chance
A chance to be able to dance to the tune of our hearts
Instead of always breaking each other apart to edges of these shards

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we gave each other a glance
A glance to see what is going on
Instead of always being in the dark of what's being torn apart

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we helped each other
and built what we have been working on
the building of love and the destruction of sorrow

But instead, we are now just so hollow

Love and happiness in the air,
what blew in the wind was my hair.
When you looked into my eye,
you wouldn't think this was what was I.

I was opened up,
I didn't know enough.
I was someone who I loved,
I felt even more tough.

It was four years,
after that there were so many more tears.
I thought I was unbreakable,
but life hit and made the pain unbearable.

Before this, I had no scars.
In the future, no doubt will home be at bars.
Because now, my heart aches,
as I know there'll be nothing left to take.