I'm sorry. I know it's been months. I know you won't read all of this.





I'm sorry that the way you looked at me melted away every ounce of pain I ever had.
I'm sorry that the way you held me that night when I told you about my father made up for the nightmare you've put me in.
I'm sorry that the way you laughed at my jokes made up for the five thousand eight hundred and forty three days that I've been alone.

In those thousands of days I never felt more alone than I did the day you left though

I'm sorry I'm a complete mess without you.
I'm sorry I have to literally force myself to not text you or stop by your house.
I'm sorry I made a playlist of your favorite songs.
I'm sorry I still go to "our" coffee shop. It's so empty without you.
You used to cover up the crack in the chair across from me at "our" table at "our" coffee shop. Now I can see light piercing through the crevice.
I'm sorry I still know you number by heart.

You don't know this but I saw your mother at the grocery store. She didn't say hi.

I'm sorry I couldn't make words sound like angels as well as you turned darkness to light.
I'm sorry for being so cold.
I'm sorry, but I love you. You just mean so much. You're everything.
I'm sorry for letting you go.

I'm sorry your friends will probably read this, but it's important to me. You're important to me.

I love you.

I am I,
I am my face, my nose, my eyes,
I am my shame, my deceit, my lies
And for my sins, I am crucified
I am I,

I am my sweat, I am my bones
I am my death, I am the rose
That grew in the grass where no one goes
I am I,

I am my brows, I am my smile
I am my own impeccable style,
I am the one that stays a while,
I am I,

I am my hand, I am my pen
I am the love letters that we sent
I'm the one who won't repent,
I am I,

Being antisocial isn't a bad thing.
It means you don't let idiots steal your time.