The depth of the ocean absorbing the color from the sky
the crashing waves like clouds in the ocean

The heart of the forest shedding its green hue to a passing brown
the natural life to death, shared by all living

The core of the flames lashing out with its orange fingers
disrupting, destroying, turning black as night

The vibrant yellow of our sun it's grasp reaching out
both destruction and life in one single entity

The red of our blood coursing through our veins
we bleed it,we shed it, we share it

Trapped inside my own skin, in complete agony
feeling the destruction within, a shard of glass away
the want to dig deep down, removing the unwanted
on the surface a face of stone, underneath fracturing
ever the silent killer, the uncommunicated pain
why is this crushing ever present, following always
every path being taken, reverting back
trying, changing, rearranging
still trapped alive, how to escape hopeful
possibilities are evolving, leaving with maybe an expanding future  
a way back to existence, and feelings of self loathing

Another day that comes once a year
a day for you, about you, only you

Celebrate these numbers that we all keep counting
remembering the more we live, the more we share

Remember your friends and family, keeping them close
as they will be with you always in body, mind, and spirit

You'll get to where you're going, to the greatest lengths of life
though a long journey still awaits in your years to come

I dont know what my feelings are anymore. They seem to just lead me into oblivion. They talk me into doing things that always end. In tragedy. They put my heart and mind on the line, and i always lose the bet. They open my eyes to new opportunities only to be blinded by them. They tell me that one day tears will stop streaming down my cheeks. They tell me to speak kind words to others, but i feel empty when others do the same. They tell me everything is going to be ok when im not. They tell me one day i will hold someone special in my arms, yet everytime i reach my hands fall short. They tell me one day my i will lay next to the one that i love. They tell me that everything is and adventure, but im the guy who always dies at the end. They tell me sometimes that i should just give up and give into my self-hatred. They tell me to write down what is on my mind no matter how light or how dark it may seem. So right now im doing just that following my feelings into the darkness once more. A darkness that holds a table with a gun, a knife, and a rope telling me these will make me feel better. I want to stop following my feelings, but now they are the only thing that can lead me out of the dark. So im going to grab its hand, and hope im not led astray once again.

Watching the water as it flows around the rocks
Gently pushing through unimpeded
Combing itself around so elegantly
It truly is beautiful to watch

Calms my mind, my fingers, my heart, and my soul
Reminds me of the blood flowing through my veins
Tells me I’m only human, my mortality indefinite
To enjoy these simple pleasures in life
To find an opportunity in what comes my way

Helping me to find my inner color and inner peace
Become one with the nature surrounding my physical self
Wrapping it up around me like a blanket
Show my love for everything I have
I am an effigy suspended on a bridge of time
Embracing what is to come my way

you sat next to me on the bus when we were kids
every time my heart started beating faster and faster
"WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO!!" the thought racing through my mind
I like her so much, but I don't want to lose her friendship
if she had said yes I would have given my heart to her
carried her backpack, written poetry for her, kissed her, cuddled her, told her how beautiful she was to me everyday, held her hand, given her massages, taken her where she wanted to go, brought her flowers, and taken her on picnics where we could lay there for hours watching the stars and talking through sunset to sunrise
but she said no, so I just do know, how can I know, what I don't know
I said I'm just gonna go
so I moved to the back of the bus and watched her laugh with her friends like nothing had ever happened
and that's when i met her, the only one who comforted me,
sitting back there with me because she saw the pain in my eyes
at least someone cared
I had hope once again