I don’t know what my feelings are anymore. They seem to just lead me into oblivion. They talk me into doing things that always end. In tragedy. They put my heart and mind on the line, and I always lose the bet. They open my eyes to new opportunities only to be blinded by them. They tell me that one day tears will stop streaming down my cheeks. They tell me to speak kind words to others, but I feel empty when others do the same. They tell me everything is going to be okay when I’m not. They tell me one day I will hold someone special in my arms, yet every time I reach my hands fall short. They tell me one day my I will lay next to the one that I love. They tell me that everything is and adventure, but I’m the guy who always dies at the end. They tell me sometimes that I should just give up and give into my self-hatred. They tell me to write down what is on my mind no matter how light or how dark it may seem. So right now I’m doing just that following my feelings into the darkness once more. A darkness that holds a table with a gun, a knife, and a rope telling me these will make me feel better. I want to stop following my feelings, but now they are the only thing that can lead me out of the dark. So I’m going to grab its hand, and hope I’m not led astray once again.

She is the girl that holds my heart in both of her hands
Carrying it gently careful not to stumble or fall
She squeezes her hands gently together to keep it beating

She softly places her soft lips upon mine
Blowing air into my crippled and empty lungs
Air flows through my lungs and I begin to breather once more

She places her hands on my head and whispers in my ear
“Come back to me”, as my synapses in my brain begin to fire
Every memory of her and me racing through my mind

Every nerve in my body shoots back to life
My body springs to life, my arms embracing her tightly
My eyes looking deeply into hers, seeing the reason for life

She has put me together and brought me back to life
Given a new meaning to devotion and a reason to live

You're the undead that people fear in the streets at night
You're so beautiful and poised and alluring
But you sunk your fangs into my neck and you drained me of my happiness and left me to suffer and become one of your kind
I don't want to be bitter. I don't want my heat to turn as cold as your touch
Why didn't you just **** me?

Ive left my mark so you can never forget my touch
I took a bite so I could feel warmth for once in my life
I regret my actions that have left you in the cold
Now I am forced to watch my handiwork as you slowly suffer

You always said I was beautiful
Why would you want something so fragile and beautiful to suffer
I was so innocent. I was so sheltered.
I would have given my life if only you had asked
But instead you took it from me

You're the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes upon
But as fragile and broken as I've made you become for that I am sorry
The broken pieces of me seemed to fall out of place with yours
Your life was too beautiful for me to take
For I am just a monster who steals what doesn't belong to me
Leaving emptiness in my wake

The chaos that ensues in my mind
This process we call thinking
When the tide turns inward
Causing me to flee to a safer place
Scared to face the feelings that
I know are the cause of these waves
As I run I feel my legs start to give in
I collapse to my knees
Slowly the waves begin to close in my fate
I look my hands remembering the things I’ve said
And the things I will never to accomplish
Welcoming this coming tide
Letting all final thoughts rest in peace

a thousand leaves on the tree
one by one falling
to an unknown fate that awaits
weather to the ground where eternally rest
or where the winter gust blows me to
there is no going back to what i know
and only the future to live towards

loneliness is an island inside my soul
a vacation home readily available for my escape
somewhere I have built impenetrable walls
scared to go anywhere beyond them
its this feeling that has consumed the last few years of my life
some place that I want to break out of but don't know how
its that one teardrop that will always fall from my face
that one cut inside my heart that will be always be surrounding it
its like a noose I can't remove from my neck
like balancing on a chair with one leg
at any second I could fall to my eternal loneliness