The problem is
If I still starved and cut
People would care
Because I would be destroying my outer-self
They don't care that you are anorexic and depressed
As long as you don't bring physical harm to your body
The pain inside never matters because they can't see it
Well I hate my face
I hate everything about my body
My ugly arms and legs
Scarred, dry, cracked, ******
Ugly ugly ugly
Face too square
Unfeminine jawline
Eyebrows too thick
Nose too wide
Hair too bland
Eyes the color of dried blood
And ugly ugly brown
There is nothing I can do though that hurts me
When I try to fix it
The worst thing I could do
Would be to put on too much make up
They can't see how much I hate my f*cking ugly self
But I can't hurt myself
So it doesn't matter
Who cares
Ugly can't be diagnosed
So clearly I am not ill in the mind
I am just ugly
Only no one pays attention
To that
Because they can't see that pain
The way they could when I could count all my ribs
And I slashed my wrists
They can't see it
And I can't either
But I can FEEL IT
Even if it doesn't hurt on the outside
It hurts on the inside

Once again I wore my spiked choker and wristband today
I haven't worn them in a while
Because everyone thinks I'm depressed when I wear them
But I realized I don't care what people think of me
I'm not hollow like I was the last time I wore this
So that is all that really matters
This is my little symbol of rebellion
Against hatred
To say to those who prejudge me and hate me:
F!ck you
I'll do whatever the hell I feel like
Your approval is not needed
I'm happy dressed this way
That's all that matters
I encourage everyone to have a little bit
Of that "F!ck You Attitude" today
Just little symbols of rebellion
Draw a black X on your wrist today
In black ink
If you support
Being yourself regardless what people think
And through this little ink symbol
Though apart in miles
We will be united in spirit
Be YOU :)
X

The Buzz
Makes me warm
Daring
I can take on the world
I no longer care about
What others think

It's just me

My fun

Not my sighs

But it always leaves

And the emptiness returns with a vengeance

And I doubt that things will ever change
But hope always floods my mind
It charges and builds up
Trapped in my own head yet free
And it makes my soul vibrate

And I get The Buzz

Hey you're more than pretty. You're gorgeous. You're eyes sparkle brighter than any star. Your smile beats the moon. Your hair is so much fun to play with. Remember not to starve, purge, cut, tear, stab, poke, burn, scratch. There's no need too. I don't need to see your face to know your beautiful. I don't care what the mirror says. You deserve to know the ugly truth. You will always be beautiful and there's nothing you can say or do to change that.

You epitomize rhyming poetry,
because these rhymes do not bind you,
or rather you have not let yourself be bound by these rhymes,
as so many others have.
Your rhythm and rhyming do not hold back your poetry:
on the contrary, these rhymes allow your poetry to be stronger.
You may not know it, but this is a spectacular quality. Write,
and never be afraid of writing.

I read all of your poetry from the beginning because from the very first poem I deemed that it was worth my time.
We are a family, by heart, and not by blood; there is no foe.
and
I am never blind to not see the world's perfect wonders.
You describe yourself as an optimist, and rightfully so. This line is beautiful. The whole poem is awesomely crafted, and once again, the rhymes don't obstruct the poem's meaning and significance, and only enhance it.

The canvas of black paint and glitters of gold.
A story that was left untold.
To golden new, from rustic old.
Too clear, yet too bold.
Your use of rhythm in this poem is very impressive. It's unconventional, and it works. The imagery of the black paint is beautiful. I love how the rhythm drops at the end; it's literally bold.

I have watched the stars, for they are like your eyes.
I saw it. I made a wish to an entity from afar.
Never was I wrong to see things that are lies.
A light was beaming. It was a broken star.
The line Never was I wrong to see things that are lies really stayed with me. It's a powerful sentence and sticks right into the poem's theme. The way I interpret it is as "It's okay to delude yourself, as long as you're happy," which links back to the popular phrase "oblivion is bliss." Also, A light was beaming. It was a broken star is entwined with the previous line in the idea that we really can chose to see only what we wish to see. Who is this broken star? I'm really curious.

Anyway, thank-you for publishing your work. It's poets like you that makes HelloPoetry a real blast. Keep submitting your work!

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