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Emmy Feb 2015
You looked at me from across the car seat.
There was a moment of eyes meeting.
A soft drowning of thoughts.
I asked what you were thinking about.
You said, "Dying."
I said, "Don't, don't worry about it."
You said, "I don't want to die without you."
I said, "You won't."
I grabbed your face.
I said, "You won't die without me."
I've never meant something more in my life.
I've never felt so sure of something that fell off my tongue.
It felt concrete in my mind.
November 4th
Emmy Feb 2015
I lay in my bed as the heat seeps through the mattress. My hair sticks to my neck from sweat. The green blanket thrown over my window casts a sickly green throughout my room. Shadows dance and my mind grasps onto them tightly like a child on his mother's finger in an unknown place. There is a dead weight that lays across my body. A weight cemented into my skin that traps all the feeling inside of me....brewing a storm. Sobs shake my body as I scream into the corridors of my tunneled mind. Screams of "WHY!" over and over. Screams of your name, and screams of the pain you inflicted as you shoved your poisoned knife right through my heart with bloodthirsty knowing eyes. The lyrics to the song playing murkily float about my body. Rubbing salt in the wounds of your sick play time on my heart. The blanket over my window doesn't satisfy my hunger for the deep darkness my mind and heart crave so readily. So I grab the bottle of cough syrup with a tight face from salty tears and drown in it hoping your eyes will disappear for a little while and so will your name.
August 2012
Emmy Feb 2015
The only faucet into which I pour out my inner thoughts
Has become silent
The handles are oxidizing and the pipes are frozen
Thousands of voices attack the metal walls in my mind
Bouncing
Echoing their thoughts until I swear up and down they're my own
October 10
Emmy Feb 2015
The moon a bright, fat cauliflower in the early morning sky
Blistering cold seeping into the skin on the thighs
Burning in your fingers
A profound quietness blankets 7 am
Much like the soft snow blanketing the jagged black ice
Sky and ground synonymous hues of bluish white
Sleepy bark naked trees jut up from the ground
Whispering hushed things
Of frigid beauty frozen into the retina from a snowy night
Emmy Feb 2015
I'm in pieces
Smooth, jagged pieces
Vacuous spaces surround them
They are solitary islands
Of bulbous, fat, confused frustration
Heat rises to the surface of my skin
Itching, squirming feeling in my gut
My fingers find spaces to gnaw at
Trying to expel the gnawing embarrassment from my inner body
Emmy Feb 2015
A tongue
Pressed against my teeth
My breath caught in my cheeks
Like a shiver rippling across my skin
Flashes of emotion
Burning tingling from within
Fire in my eyes
A heart beat so loud it's caught in my ears
It blew through me like a cold draft that numbs the toes
Spastic pulses of red
Reaching a scream
Surging like electricity throughout me
From the chained shadows it rose like a fog
Determination so rigidly starching
Softened smooth by a love so deep
Angelic angles of color so vibrant
Wrapped around you like atmospheres
Let me breath you in
Let me
Fingertips brushing
Bodies anything but hushing
A welling warmth so beautiful it feels like I'm lucid dreaming
Baby I'm color feeling
Emmy Dec 2014
It's so wonderful to feel mountains of emotions so moving in oneself
It creates valleys and volcanic eruptions
That warm the body so thoroughly you believe you may melt
Into a puddle of overwhelming love and joy
How beautiful it is
Like golden sunshine, warming the spots in between the tree branches Full of leaves in late spring
It eradicates the ashen hue in your veins with lavish reds
How warming to the soul to feel a tributary of trust
So deeply embedded in the wholeness of a love
Shared between two people
A strong sense of wanting to better yourself blossoms inside
True love bears vines and trees of fruit in the soul, mind, and body
It paints the dulling colors of the world so glaringly gasping to the eye
Filling one with colors
And out of all the feeling kinds
Color feeling is the loveliest one
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