your kiss was as tasty
as strawberry sauce.
but was it your tongue
or just your lipgloss?

your hair smelled of wild flowers,
sickly sweet and divine.
your perfume was so rustic,
like a soft scented pine.

your eyes sparkled bright
like the overhead stars.
with you softly singing,
and me strumming guitar.

we danced until morning,
skinny dipped in the stream.
it all seemed so perfect,
could it be just a dream?

our nights that summer,
i won't soon forget
the memories we made
or the girl that i met.

I've been cursed by the memories we made
I need someone to replace
The emptiness you left me with
No matter how much I take
These memories won't fade

☁️

Where I'd rather be is in my thought
Buried,covered yet breathing
Dead yet alive in my head
A land of wild imaginations
crazy fantasy
beautiful reality

3:30 am, I hear a cry,
My sisters had a bad dream.
I can't help but wonder why.

Yes, it was a nightmare
But not of the dream sort,
This one was reality,
Though I wish it were not.

Another young life taken away,
The sadness fills my heart,
Such a waste of someone's life,
A family torn apart.

4:47 we sit together,
Looking at the light
Of a house that's lost a son, a brother
On this awful night.

The town once more faces tragedy,
But it's strength will never cease,
We'll stick together to get through it all,
Jordan, rest in peace.
                

Love, Heartbreak, etc; the never-ending cycle.

I was about to outline the phases of the cycle of love, including all the casualties and all the bliss, but then I realized that would be way too long and monotonous. So bear with me as I try to summarize the cycle.

Except, you can't summarize love, that’s like trying to give someone the general idea of a song by humming it, but not actually singing the lyrics.

Here’s how it is. You never know what your happiest moment in a relationship is. You just simply will never know at that very moment, you will only know the peak of your happiness once it has passed. That is because we tend to assume that our happy levels will just continue to rise once you find “the one.” And unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way.

I don’t exactly know what love is. Maybe it’s the way the tiny scar on your lip made me laugh while we kissed. Or maybe it’s the way you sass me whenever I’m acting like a ****. Or, maybe the way you drive me absolutely insane, yet I still want to spend as much time as I can with you. Somehow all the love songs, all the poems, and all the blue skies reminded me of you. And, get this, all the rainy days, songs about getting over you, and blank walls also remind me of you.

It’s like you just can’t escape. But I’m starting to think that maybe love itself isn’t what hurts, it’s the way it’s thrown around, the way it’s abused that causes the real pain.

But in all reality, I still don’t know what love is. I’ve never really had that example couple to look up to. I’m completely unaware of what love looks like. Maybe that’s why I struggle to find it.

Dear Mom,
You know I love you, and you know I’m forever grateful for all you do for me, and I promise, what I’m about to say doesn’t change that.

But Mom, you need to figure this out.

I’m not the girl you wanted to raise. My grades aren’t perfect, and neither am I. I will make mistakes, kiss the wrong boys, befriend the wrong girls, eat the wrong food, and I will never be perfect.

But please, and I mean please, know this:
Every time you pinch my stomach and take me to the gym the following day, my self esteem gets crushed a little bit.

Every time you tell me I’m with the wrong boy, my sense of judgement crumbles, as well as my confidence in my choices.

Every time you yell at me for the B- in honors trigonometry and tell me I’m lazy, I lose the trust I had in myself.

And Mom I promise I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but please…

let me make my mistakes, Mom. Isn’t that how you did it?

Dear,
    Fingertips that
    braided hair,
    lips that kissed my tears.

    Hands that
    warmed my own
    throughout my
    growing years.

    Smile that
    woke me up,
    memories you
    had me keep.

    Wordless humming
    to somber tunes,
    at night
    to help me sleep.

    Wrinkles that
    speak of leaving,
    breath that
    fades in song.

    Eyes that
    grasp at fleeing dreams
    I love you,

Dear Mom.