'they say be yourself
and then they judge you'
stop it already
i don't fit your mould
if you feel comfortable in it
keep it to yourself
care i less with your stigmas
as dogmas
and expectations
and don't put them on me
i mean no harm
and should you regress me
to make me find happiness
in the superficies of this world
maybe i would
because i should
since there seem to be no more happiness
in being me
thanks to you and me
for letting me
for letting you
keep my leash
although,
take this
IDGAD
i'll run free
among you
dare i try

Despair is an old company
In lighter days he’s the shadow overcasting every object
In darker days he’s the strongest
Strangling and suffocating
Clouding all reasons for treason

Was he born with me,
I always think he lived this world long before I did
How he found me how I wish he never did

Despair is an old felony
He lived longer than any of us, and he will live longer than any of us
To love him is unutterable
But to let him linger or to let him pass for another time
That might be a way

A life lived unlived, is a waste wasted

I envy those who're not afraid of living,
of life and all the possibilities it brings,
as I clamber cowardly in my corner,
towards nowhere, in circles,
crippled by my fear of the unknown future

I admire those who walks straight in front of their own handicaps,
as I hunch my spine scraping for my confidence and self worth

I wish my image can stand tall to fulfill who I really am,
but one says, and one knows the journey to the summit of one's self is trying and arduous,
and somehow sometimes I found doubts are easier to find, and belief is the rarest jewel

BELIEVE
but are you really the key?

Please don't say you'll love me forever,
only to console,
only to make me smile,
We'll only make it linger,
and I'll only be naive to believe...
and make all my decisions around that premise...
And you'll only break my heart,
and you'll seem to break your words,
because to you it wasn't a promise...
only a statement,
a spur of the moment...
But by all means, please do so in the quietest to your own heart,
when I'm not there,
where I'm not there
Because I don't ever need to hear it,
all that matters is that IF, you'll stay...
or you'll stray...

'Qu'est-ce-que tu veux ... ?'
and there goes the spiral of time,
endless rabbit hole of time,
lost in the space-time-continuum...
Animated but staying,
existing but inanimate...

These things that people do,
things that then they'd think'd define them,
there're so many things to do,
I kind of just want to float amongst them...

What do I want ...
What do you want?

Is it any worth of questioning at all?
For the time wasted thinking but not knowing,
not deciding,
or choosing, or even preferring,
just taking all in in a blasé observation...