she asked
"what do you even write?"  
We write
testimonies
pleas
and defenses
our pen, the judge and the jury
we write of the rythymn and the dead space between beats.
our message is the vibrations that barrel out of the belly of the drum
our words encompass the spectrum of light
we write the fuse
we are the piston
we are the face and hands of the clock, the numbers, and the tic tock
we write you.
we write ourselves.
we write strangers and phantoms and projections.
we write wrongs
we write mysteries our reader resolves.
we write eyes, hearts, and minds
tangible soul tales for the deaf and blind.

defused into dumbfounded speed kicked eternal dream
almost sleep state
we never took off.
stuck in rest.
i rub your head, you lay on my breast.
unrest.
brush away webs.
your skin, it's just fine.
It'll pass.
It does every time.
Hours upon hours
Our bubblegum brains, they turn sour.

We knew better
You relearned all your vowels, all your letters.
oh, but your jaw and your lips and the spin and that glass
oh the glass..

isnt worth it.

i can't believe we ever had the gumption.
please don't ask..
ill be vague and you make your assumptions.

this is not romantic.

I have sharpened my teeth ready to rip and tear
like soldiers and their swords

I am listening to the sound of the rain on the roof
while you fold your clothes to sad song about madness and memories and it is quiet in the house with the same kind of finality of
a lock clicking of
a door slamming of
a finished book

like a knife slicing through a teen on a Chicago city street at 1 am
no streetlights
no police
no gunshots

just this skin
this blood on asphalt
on sidewalk
on boy
on knife

just blood on the roof of this house like a warning
something wicked resides here do not come near
something that says dangerdangerdangerdanger

Never look back.
Never look here again,
there is something about you that keeps me coming back for more
like you are selling crack ******* on the street corners and
I am an addict panhandling

I know you will leave me when I am hopelessly in love
I know I will not be able to breathe without you.

Without the weight of your body and breath on mine
you will leave me peeled and gutted, spineless.
Every dream crushed like a body thrown from the 40th floor.

You will leave me like tsunamis leave islands,
like hurricanes leave cities,
like tornadoes leave houses

utterly destroyed from the core out,
and you?

You will leave like a bird from a nest.


Weightless.

Sometimes I feel,
Like a bird waiting on the line,
Waiting, so patiently,
for his time to take flight

To be more than just a bird
Waiting for his flock
to feel light as his feathers,
After carrying many rocks

I am how I see myself,
and in me, I see an eagle
I find my strength within my soul,
Rise from the ashes of the feeble

Spread my wings and soar
to what was once out of reach
You can be enlightened too,
If you practice what you preach

You are your own king,
Don't you turn when that trumpet sounds
You control your own destiny,
Show them why you wear that crown

We cover illness with flowers
and flowers die

The inside of my mouth tastes like it is decaying
I hope I lose all of my teeth first

Maybe its just the scotch and *****
But there is a burning in my throat

Maybe it is Satan just making his way out

There should be three crosses on the side of the highway
three bite size graves all in a row
three rotting skeletons collecting dust

When I was young I made a suicide pact
with my two best friends

I woke up on my bedroom floor
stars crossing in front of my eyes
empty bottle of pills still in my hand

At their funerals I kept my mouth closed
Because there are things their mothers needn't know

That should have been a sign
I was meant to forever walk this world alone

I feel empty inside
Consumed by the lies
That you told me
You went and did it like everyone else
You cheated
You ******* cheated Cheyenne.
I tried to forgive you
I tried to push my anguish aside and look at you
In the same light that I used to before all this
Before my brain was torn into a million pieces
That all began arguing with each other violently
The sea of opinions and feelings could drown a fish
I treated you like gold babe
I wanted to give you the world
Or the little pieces of it that I could offer you
I can't stand the Idea of what you did
But its even worse picturing life without you
Such a huge impact in this two month period.
You became the light of my life
The sun to my earth
My troubled head always revolving around your center
A cosmological scale couldn't fit the potential we had together
So many unmade memories
So many moments that will never be shared
So many kisses of warm lips under a tangerine sunset
And that just unsettles me
I can't imagine the things that will never be now
Because forgiveness was never my strong suit
But we're taking time now
Because I believe in second chances
Just do this
Prove yourself to me
Because all I want to feel is your touch
And it's ghost doesn't satisfy
I miss the taste of your lips on mine
But I can only imagine yours on his
And it makes me sick.
Just show me I can trust you
I'm begging you , please,
Because the thought if losing you is petrifying.

I hope you choke on the names of our would be children
when it happens to cross into your thoughts
the few nights you don't sink into bed ****** out of your mind

I hope you ***** down the hallway thinking of me
I hope you never make it to the bathroom on time
I hope your stomach acid burns like a ripcord up your trachea

You told me no one had good ***** like I did
And he said it, too
Every last time I cheated on you

Just remember you betrayed me first
Told me to **** someone to put equality back into the universe

It's sad to say I did it out of spite
I could have been loyal

Instead we let each other become driftwood
burning blue and green
and floated away without a fight