as dusk rolled into night,
we watched a gray storm pour off the mesas
you spoke of life, death and what lies in between  
I smelled the rain and watched the lightning dance off
every rock, revealing some sacred secret alchemy in their stony souls  
a molten mix from ancient seas which yet today  
makes a bargain with light brighter than our simple, dying sun  
when your words faded into a sleepy slur, I walked
through the torrents of rain, not shivering
from the dreary drenched burden of the flesh
nor from the earthly winds, but from the vision
of my paw prints disappearing
before they were even made

She sits in her cell,
Pretty sure she's in hell,
The walls trapping in the gloom,
How will she ever bloom?

I see her figure slightly behind the imaginary bars,
Arms faintly lined with scars,
Her eyes smeared with black,
Did I just hear her bones crack?

Long black hair,
With an unknown despair,
She could try and explain,
But who would understand her pain?

She regrets her birth,
Knowing she doesn't belong on this Earth,
Drastically misplaced,
Then relentlessly chased.

She drives a blade through her fading heart,
A desperate attempt to stop them tearing her apart.

*n.l.b

i only  ask  that you do
not forget  my  laugh
and the smell of my
shampoo,       m y
ticklish   thighs
and the  s o f t
f e e l i n g of
m y  mouth
on     your
m o u t h

i'm scared that i'm never
going to be happy.

or that i'm never going to
get better or fully recover.

i'm scared that one day i'll have
the courage to **** myself and i
won't regret it at all.

i'm scared to see other people see me
the way i see myself.

i'm scared to see the people i love
the most not love me back
in return.

i'm so scared to not have the thing
that makes me happy no
longer in my life.

but one thing that i'm not
scared of is loving you till
the very end.

No water tastes sweeter
than that sip in the desert
No touch is finer
than that hand on the shoulder
when encased in loneliness.
No paycheck more abundant
than following employment deprivation.
No buffet more filling
than that first bite in hunger.

No more wondrous serenity
than when the pain
finally goes away
from your mouth
your back
your head
your knees
your gut
your mind.

No idea more stimulating
to a mind so hungry
than a poem which catches
the moment so perfectly.

No love more appreciated
than when awash in self judgement
No praise more received
than when lost in condemnation.

No warmth more soothing
than when lost in the snow.
No light so bright
as that first sunlight
when lost in the demons
of one's night.

No sensation so
pure as an open
heart after numbness descends
Compassion in hatred
A laugh when joyless.

A lover's kiss after betrayal
A loving look after the cold white wall
A loving word after tense stone silence.
No embrace more healing
than when you come home to me.

The receding waters after the tsunami
The stillness after the earthquake.
The peace after the warfare.

The spring flowers after the winter
The coolness of fall after the blistering summer's heat.
The wood stove so warm when the house is so cold.

No bed so content
No home so sweet
after being stuck out on the streets.

Duality Reality
Without our joys no sorrow
Without our sorrows no joy.