Lately I’ve been trying to figure out how I might be able to miss you
and not feel sad about it
anymore

I should’ve know when you didnt want to talk bout the future that you wouldn’t be here for long
You dodged my questions when I asked about where you saw yourself in five years. About grad school. About moving to New York
You didn’t ask me questions about where I saw myself in five years. About grad school. About moving to New York.

I should’ve known you’d be painfully present when you wouldn’t share about the past
We never did talk about grade school, or skinned knees, bad grades or good teachers

All you ever could think in was the present, and when I started to ask about the future, bout next week, I was no longer welcome in your presence
You vanished and took with you our time together, past tense

So I keep sleeping, to escape the present
Hide behind my covers in broad day light
My dreams take me to a place where the past, present and future are nowhere to be found
And that’s where I’m able to find you, again

I tell my best friend I don’t know why I’m still sad
That it feels wrong to feel so much for someone that I don’t think felt much about me
She tells me it’s easier to be sad than to let yourself feel better
And she’s right cause it’s easier to miss you than hate you
Easier to be sad than to be happy and forget
or forgive
I’m more comfortable being sad cause then no one can take happiness from me
There’s nothing left to lose in sadness, except for the comfort of it all
And isn’t that, beautiful, too?

How do you mourn the loss of something you never had in the first place
You were the greatest almost I ever had
I hope to know you again soon

Your footprints are riddled throughout south Boston from our cold walks wandering
They’re still here
Still a reminder of us there

Together was my favorite place to be
But you’re gone like it was nothing
And i miss you like it was something
Those moments felt like everything
Does any of it matter, any more?

You came back for a fleeting moment / won’t you stay

Maybe I miss you and maybe I shouldn’t but the truth is I do
I’m in a crowded room
Surrounded by bright lights and lovely people but i still wish we had more than a passing encounter last night
Wish I knew for certain that this would one day go somewhere cause
I don’t lend my heart out often
I was hopeful
And you surprised me
And hurt me
And left me
But didn’t quite leave yet
Will you come back to stay

You left my bed filled with a terrible nostalgia
Now I can’t sleep without dreaming you next to me
I conjure up your ghost
Why do you continue to haunt my sheets