Some things remain-
Summer storms remind me of you,
And if I play the right music I fall in sync with the rhythm and let my heart dance to the tune of you and me, the songs my heartstrings would play when your fingers strummed them so.
I find myself pulled off to sides of roads
Either immersed in poetry for the ghost of us or immersed in my mind where your ghost resides and sometimes haunts me with the irrational notion that I lost the best.
I find the things I'd like to share with you
And find myself untyping the message to let you know because you'll read it but you won't read into it. In between the lines of it all, it simply says "I miss you."
I curse the way my heart curves
Around your figure and around what was, around what could've been and what was lost. I curse the way I find my heart still shamelessly open to yours.
Some things remain,
And I curse myself for merely wishing you had.
It's difficult that even with time people you'd prefer to let go of don't go away. It's a blessing and in this case a curse that I continue to feel and care about someone that shouldn't matter yet, at my dismay, does.
I am nervous to post poems I write about him because it means I'm still struggling but I am where I am and beating myself up over it doesn't help. Writing does, sadly even if I write the same thing with a different rhyme scheme. This is my way of moving on, which is slow but nonetheless I know each poem helps. So for anyone reading- eventually I'll write about something else. For now this is what I need to write about, until I feel like he's fully gone.