They told me, no one ever dies of a heartbreak.
But have they not heard about the suicides?
Have they not heard about the hanging ropes, the long sleepless nights, the dying inside a living body?

They do not know, how your voice sounds like when you're falling asleep.
They do not know, how your mouth curls up at the edges when you smile.
They do not know, what it's like to kiss your lips like I've never known air like I've never held hands, like I've never felt life.

In love with you is the only way I felt at home.
It's like falling asleep after so many restless nights
It's like the sun after snow, the snow after long hot summer days. It's like the first love, first kiss, first I love you all at once.

Now, it is always cold in my room, my body is always burning with despair.
I barely even sleep anymore, and when I do, I wake up crying because I just thought you leaving was a bad dream.
There are no I love you's, no kisses.
The love is still there, but it's useless, left on a bookshelf collecting dust and tears.

They do not know the tears I cry every night missing your voice
They do not know how I die a little inside looking at your smile knowing I'll no longer be the reason behind it
They do not know how I crave your lips like I can't breathe and you are made of oxygen

They do not know how life is with you
And how life is without you.

I want my words to be beautiful.
Beautiful like yours.
I want to see ordinary things,
Find the magic in them,
And put the magic on a page, for everyone to understand.

I want to have a way with words.
I want every poem of mine
To become a masterpiece.
Just like yours.

I am not broken.

But you are.

You see the world through pain,
And pain makes the colors brighter.
It makes the value of feelings
Climb higher.

Sometimes I wonder
If I should be broken like you
If I want my words to resonate
Like yours.

Sometimes I wonder,
If it will be truly worth it
In the end.

I wonder what it will be like,
To cut myself up to pour out the beauty inside me.

Just like you.

I imagine that you
Raise the blade
Slice your feelings open
And write your masterpiece
In red.