Blazing walls trapping me within the great barriers of the unimaginable
where am I?
who am I?
Weakened and afraid,
guiltsmotheringmybodyuncontrollably
the unforgetable
the unforgivable
Hearing the shallow cries chiming from the shadows of the night
I mourn to myself,
there is no stopping,
there is no escape.

Am I going to make it?
broken, beaten, burnt, and blamed
can't breathe, can't speak, can't be–
Don't look pretty lover; drowning in life isn't a sight to see
Even when I thought I could be your strength,
Failure swarmed all over my body
"Give it up, go away" the voices whisper
Hell is a place on Earth and the demons cry out for me
I am weak; no one would disagree
Just take me already, no more waiting in this ****** misery
Kiss of death at my doorstep,
"Let me in, let it all go" the voices deepen
Maybe it was meant to be like this
No fairy tales, no happy endings, nothingness
Only your nightmares becoming reality
Pain surging through your body; the black blood dries along your face
Quit, I don't want any of this...
Realizing I am the demon- my mind, my body, my everything
Stinging stupidity- the evil lies within myself, clawing to get out
Though, it's too late, time is up
Up and underway, I was in too deep
Vicious and vengeance piercing through my black covered eyes
What am I? Who am I?
Xanax in my stream, in my pulse, in my heart
Yet reaching the end, hearing the beeps drop to zero—
Zero.

The stomach pain is horrendous
The taste of dessert coming back
The look of disaster
stab me, choke me, **** me
The disapproval upon the faces
The miserable sounds in the background
The insecurity peaking out
save me, help me, rescue me
The choke before the gag
The spit before the rest
The death in my stomach
take me, be me, please
The blood in my gums
The ache in my throat
It's over–
I'm alright again.

Within yet without
Being so close
yet feeling so far
Reach for me
Grab my hand
or I'll slip away
Into the pieces you never put back together
Catch me
Hold me
or I'm doomed–

Strip me apart
Break it up
Make the decision
To move or give up
Give me a reason
Tell me why
I should move on
Again this time
Need some guidance
Oh what shall I do
To quit or keep going
It's coming too soon