I’ve given my everything to you.
I’ve spoke to you of what is needed.
Everyone was right about us,
We never should’ve tried again.

People pleaser,
A condensed teaser.
Lost in leisure.
Because I’m the pleaser.

A clouded mind,
Relentless thoughts and terrors.
Divided by what should be and what could be.
It was then I realized.


Im still lost.

I’m terrified of thoughts of you,
Believing that I am not worthy of them.
Two days till your birthday,
And I’m still lost.
I accepted the lies that were told,
I wasn’t strong enough to ward their thoughts.
I’m sorry.

I’m soaring through the clouds,
A cloud nine high.
Home.
It’s a glorious feeling,
It’s going to be okay and I can stop bleeding.

That is until..
I start again.
The thoughts,
Negative phrases and screaming sentences.
Pushing out these voices out and without notice,
I’ve pushed you out too.

It’s simple,
Easy.
Like taking off a bandaid,
Yeah right.

I write about you,
Writing as if you’ll read them.
Yet we both know I shouldn’t,
After all, it’s my fault you’re dead.