as the long coated tall man digressed
a spinning coin became her translucent globe
permitting a time stretch until a decision was made

the rhythm of spinning
arched her doubts
to a half smiling one armed body
that could pick it up remotely but promptly
in public space

an alluring method of an actress knowing the stage
unhearing unseeing her spectators
while permeating the act through their matter

this last adorably nonchalant grin
hanging the mouth half up and half down
spilled the words: ‘so this one is for me then!’

when the long coated man loomed
she was already holding it firm in her right palm
extraneous blushing thoughts with a long narrative
of giving it back
raised thousand  rehearsals as polluted air
in shorter than a minute of turning the head to fixate
and dissipated

before the  trash could handle the reforming flush
I reached out for her help
with my puppetheadedness
come on I said what is 20 cents
preserve it to recycle for my lucky star at least
she, relieved  nodded
and placed the coin in a front section of her whistling memory
which finally today tinkled and jingled a street musician’s ultroneous hat!
:)

I feel so Silent Today
Its Sunday
You Play a Tune
The Leaves They Move
Hold A rhythm to My Gaze
You Say
Say Something From Far Away
It Shines but
I am a Bit Knocked Out
A Bit Fuzzy TODAY
UUUU  UUUUU
Its still EARLY SO EARLY
Floating still
Beneath a Prairie
UUUU UUUUU

I feel so Great Today
Its after Sunday
We met to Recharge and laugh and
CryListenSingSleepDrinkSmokeHang
OverDanceParacetamolWorkEatC­lean
WatchTouch and
UUUU UUUU

A lot of Impressions Indeed
my Power Friend
but it shines
shines Inspiration
towards
Towards a next Tune
UUUU UUUU

when I catches of you in I’s mind
at once I converts  to a cloud in the sky
because I knows a cloud is no different than you

a basketball bounces to  draw the boundaries of a back yard
a bearer space made of sounds of a game

cloud is such a temporary vessel
carrying you’s finiteness  
or I’s desire of home coming
distances in between  disqualify
exemplifying all I ness outside
you becomes I

Sandwiched through
two cloudy loaves
made of breath
I observe
the purest of blue

one nudges a sharp line
gently from below

draws her dream silhouette
an imaginary residue of slopes


she
the one who allows me
to miss you now
when I am away from mystery
and because I am mystery
lives in there
uninterrupted as a dot
where planes cross
to create dashes
same color as the mare’s tail

the one above on the contrary
is as unpredictable as
the contours of the flowers in cotton fields
where you would be the breeze
to jolt the atmospheric

as the indigotic immerses languidly
she gets bluer than the blue untouched
thinning
at the end of the suggested tail
deeper and fiercer so as not to disappear
but leaves an echo
of its trail
in your mind

soon that will also be shut
the port to and of another realm

the whitening molds subtly the shapeless
pales the light to an analogous fluid
all sharps – lines – flowers - fields melt
into an underwater blurring sea life
where creatures are so small or just hide
not from us but from contrasts

slowly darkening  we forget
about ourselves and the girl’s dream fades
she forgets

the you and I  
becomes tuningly unimportant
we know so well now
it is not for us
illusions of light
of reflections
are just about
other worlds far aways
while
night falls
along the earth’s curve

living particles
made of color
hang light
on top of an unknown
mountain

I do not have any space of time to cry
because I maybe miss you
there you stand right in front of me
at a distance that I can see

a clearing made for us is made of us
a stage of well fit grass circling us

you stand strong long hair maybe
a suit resembling iron
a suit that is a part of your being

you a warrior from timeless time
you came to me now
to stand across me

your gaze
that I surrender to
validates each particle
I am composed of

at rest is I innocent
pure balance
of peace and of joy
magnetic is our love

all the static is you
airy converting all the temporary is I
your endless silent gaze is now
our unconditional presence
made of a posture of standing is one

She shaped as she
on top of that one mountain
carrying all waters of the world
with one of her infinite hands
on top of her head
under that night sky
an offering she was or it
to the moon

the carrier of half moon a copper plate
the lover the moon a reflection of herself
inspiring beauty as a shine
she could reach to the non condensed matter
of a planet where you and I come from
pure light of our home to refract the unseen
that could travel as fast as love
to awaken the rainbow
of our combined heart
a rainbow that could appear
on the world after rain

Rain was her true name
she meditated as her name
for you
as you wished for her
to inspire the smells of condensed fume
she evaporated under that moon

Next day
I guess on a Sunday
one day after a sunny bright cool day
I woke up
not opening my eyes
I knew
the sun would be behind the clouds
I knew unmoving how air felt
I did not know why
until questioning stopped
until my choice of unacceptance of
what is -
what I am -
what I created to be for that day -
gave up
for that was not an affordable weight
morning called instead
maybe a gift the greens said
as they got deeper darker in their greenness
to be praised by the clouds
settled as if they have always been  on these skies
they always do so arrogant
it’s their nature I say
they are as is required to be
I did not mind
and
it rained

and
it rained
and rained
and rained
and I knew
I was awake
and I knew
I rained
and rained
and rained
I rained
for you

I bought a real nutcracker today.
A fine shiny black truly cool looking one!
Each crack  compliments to a dandy vintage lad's  imaginary home TV shopper Ad.
Saying‘It's guaranteed! Hundred percent of mechanosensory reception!’

I try to convince myself between time stretching
‘Yes or No’s and ‘Just use stones’
‘Come on you've deserved it!’
‘Why bother?’

You have been craving for each
Tried and tested any,
same as so many
even from a hard peach.

So why not!? Keep it! – as if a testimony, from tough to juicy mimicking fruity blending **** seduced by crunchy   mouth twisting *****.

Digested from special yearly events to monthly justifications then weekly to daily and surprisingly after dinner, before breakfast, as brunch or even a whole meal sometimes.

You gnaw like a small rodent layer by layer cute but so tight although he says that’s alright.

Dashing trunks as if a woodpecker,
Stealing home reserved only-for-the-pet’s crumbs and
Finally receiving next day’s well deserved belly cramps.

Come on you almost broke your teeth during your worldwide exploring different types of shell husking trip.

Feel blessed now one time for goddess’ sake that she winks and tweaks my lips while it creaks, festively announces your recent find that nuts you shall eat raw only - neither baked nor from a sinfully roasted ready packed plastic bag.

Oh the enchanting
Silhouette of the winter bird
appearing
On such January morning
with a tail
Implying the precise degree
of an acute angle
Between two **** branches

You are making an imaginary roof
for your sweet roundish oval head
Fitting it exactly
under a perpendicular space
equal to the height
of the opening
of one missing panel
of my venetian blinds

through which I am peeping right now
safely below the closure points
Of a spectral  line

Made by your precision
to manifest
a beauty of an
illusively two dimensionalized
Isosceles Triangle of a
branchy reality

These ever changing orange blue
dashes of an upcoming
Early morning With smoky fumes
are wisely making the volatile
roof for your house

an opposite line
halves to deliver
two adjacent lines
at a perpendicular point
to reserve permanently
its never changing cosine

and still it seems to be
Preserving  some of the
fading brittles of stars within

Ah such a home is to be!
where you can peacefully
Fatten and
Rest the tip of your
Belly
to say
This dot of the tangent
Belongs to me
Inhaling
Exhaling
And changing
to a new colored
vitreous roof
of yours

Unmoving
there
Like the buddha
of all silhouettes
Sculpted to
Guard skies only

Oh wise bird
Please
Will
You stay here
And meditate
For me??

I said carelessly
through a slightest
slip of the tongue
and tired body

but before I could
realize and correct
correct it as:
And meditate here
With me??

He instantly turned
his head towards me
And flew
Away

Rightfully :(

Leaving
Me
Helpless
Looking
at a reflection
of my silly longing
Between
The deserted
Space
Of two skinny
Fragile
Branches

Once served
As a melodious
Golden
Cage
Fruiting
Seeds
Of
Reality Dreams
of an Old Tree

I won’t ask you why
when my knowing knows
why  

beyond stories
I am
an extension
of
unfinished business

answers to
Q&A; s
precipitate
as mind bound realities
on mundane plane

while all stories remain
mutually exclusive

I said goodbye

she helplessly cried
full of me
for the first time

Teardrops of
the other
by the other
Not to impress
or annoy

the canvas
of the truth of I
remained untouched

but
this uttermost cry was
maybe a cheek warming
Silent expression just

in the conscious presence
of both

embraced by both

Goodbye to this roof that welcomed
our dreams…
Goodbye to this roof that
accommodated our flows
cries
highs
ties
pies
spies
allies skies
I s
Eyes
Aiaiai s ….

All of her dramatized stories
that agonize
are
to be capsized
to emphasize -
harmonize -
energize
so that
I s
are re centralized
re authorized
along the curly hum
For the game!
like the newborn tree
growing inside of me now
of
Me ?

me again?!?

but

I need not much of these anymore

and such are all things
that gave breath to us :
the in/sentient
courageously left behind
for a cry that bore generations
and such is her’s now

A means
that helped me grow
towards this no thing thing

and You

You ?

But you…
…?

An immortalized posture of a shoulder shrug!

Nothing more
and nothing less

You - as love apart
but still with me

by each one of my shoulder shrugs
like the nameless sage of shoulder shrugs

In the western ‘who cares’ style….
We are so good at that!
So …

so ?

Be proud just!
to be commemorated as such

I will Never
pick a wildflower again
to place in my beloved vase
I did it only twice
Shamefully
Watching the truth die
Instantaneously
and no we do not like duality
But there will NOT be a third time
for such sad action
You have my word on that

I walk now alone
content with a song
of a bird welcoming
my accord

Carrying your light
in my heart
Plainness is my courage
I know you now

Your love rains
beads of truth
shaping words
of peace
that I read
incessantly
as us

knowing my duty
I go
go now

Taking nothing
Needing nothing
Leaving all
Things and
Insightful of
no things

I am you
With you
Listening
Just
to these
final
immaculate
droplets
of hers
before she willingly dies

I want to be all your love he wishes
Here she says it’s all yours so be it
She puts on happily her prettiest dress and prepares for their wedding dance
He looks up to the guy what she has made outta him as love
Upon seeing the stars and the universe he escapes
to a land of jealousy and self loath where he endlessly fights himself
and she just waits unknowingly for the return of her sweetheart
I remain eternally for my soldier leading the fight for freedom of love she says

Beware Hooray
the Cavemen are comin
jumpin up and don knock-kneed
sweepin the hill with their new harvested beard

Howdy chicky chicken leg
What’s goozin under your sweaty shirt
lookin like ma granpa
with ur baby cream breath
or is it maybe somethin else luscious
spring of intermittent discharge
making rainbows duplicate

yep gimme two too
when u come to me
oh when u come to me

cause I am a matured
lovin n **** is my blanched bird nest
neatly crowned above my head
I shall unbind it for
adorable is your lady color short pants
I bet holographic daisies growin
along the tri-d charm
of your ******
if any yeah if any

Beware Oh the cavemen
Run flat out nou
cause I shall feed you
to my auntie’s aging dreams
with the buncha hair on ur face
u look lika somethin
resembling
a man before her famine

Beware Oh the cavemen
Auntie is comin

wish for a wish
?
no.
not this time.

fireworks -
before dawn

they too
need none

I like it more
when
skies are mine

no. I am yours

can you be one?
first time – last time?

eye to eye with a lone star
guided by a mantra  
Lokah Samasta
…

Oh bike
do take me home
please

under a plum tree
or make one
for me
in the sky
upside down

fruitless winter branches!
are these same as the shape of your roots?

allow me then
to plant us in the blue
where that star shines
thrue

a galactic bulge
pulls me inside a spheroid
and centers
to where breath runs
along colorful lines

I sleep - I dream
I am awake

a white dove
to doves
doves to pitpat s

as if snow
a heavenly scent
flourishes curlicue bells

the unwished
converts the gloom
returns a gift
made of
the glowing yearning
of a phleum

for a new morning sky
made of a bloom

gifted  
to us
by
Bloom.

maybe it really is
as my good friend says teasingly
that I be no good
with kitties n kiddos

“But you are good among them!
There is difference you know
They love to play with what
they recall as one of them”

No offense!
he adds and laughs
I smile - Yeah?

Does he mean ...maybe
These kitties and kiddos
are some sort of teachers?

which I mix up with love?

while they only mean  to break
my circle symmetry so I can rise
up a spiraling uncertainty ?

Is that why I fell for Second Law
then crashed ...with the all of me
gorged inside to be scattered outside?

Easy way out I guess
sleeping with books
cheating me
I can read
while asleep

and now
from these times and lines
dunno what really still trails
hopefully a piece of mind
that dares
to question the essence
of the glorious teachers
who illustriously tried to show
a fleshing out truth
of me

it’s no mystic the reply to the question
‘but when do I see?’
one step away lies truth
always in love and made of now

I better be asking… then
when dare you pass?
and stay
and be
now?

We are now left to hard media only
I can play you raw on my strings
and hear what you say
I can draw you on a paper and feel your touch
I can color your space and embrace your aura
Your pain is mine if you give me some
not to worry it won't hurt
The pain you have is a reflection of what I've already filtered out of you
before delivering it back to you
It's only fairness
this much is not much
as much as you can have
I know you so well
You know that thousand years is too long to carry a child
even for the one with thousand bellies my child
It was not only for my cleansing our meeting
I was not the only cursed one
You are not born of me and No not for me
I be your sin if you make me your masterpiece
The face of the scary the manipulated energy
has imprisoned the fairy so the prince can save her?
The prisoner stays in prison until she realizes she is in prison
until she falls in love with the prince
then the impurity of the entanglement disappears turns to a breeze
an unpetrified ****** in the openness of a field stands
The bewildered is freed and is free now
The curse melts to particles of bliss
The prince dies she becomes flesh and blood
for the first time after the time gone for one and the last lifetime
Alone she will walk this road until the end until they reunite in the spirit world
Joy she has knowing the fact
Joy she should take and give and learn
in this short lifetime of separateness and the corporal to bear and cherish
cause he may feel
for him she will be happy so he can feel
for him she learns joy so she can carry it to eternity
for him she sees a butterfly rubbing against the anther
and for him she smiles now

It is impossible not to sense the closeness
each time I close my eyes

Would that be closer than skins untouching ?

The gap: causing the desireless stress of presence

of the other
because of itself

My mind  
Discloses
****

For what
We celebrate is
a precision of love
made of
our wordless waves
that subtly replaces
and sculpts my
gross lines
to their
primordial

We are transparent
space casts its chassis
Made of us
Formats
our deserted shells

as we fuse
to fit in things
Color of sound
now as big as
its encapsulating hall
We are time only
to heal

The sun shines
Skin becomes light
drawing shoulders
towards the earth
straight
dashing lines
Pull
gracefully
One part down
towards the red
One part up
towards the blue
straightening the neck
Fronts well aligned
with the back
While a lift
of this healthy tension
spans
from the middle
out of the hips
Joints know well
How to turn
and sink the distal
fronting a bliss
that welcomes in
a thrill
towards which I remain sober
as the music
softly fills
this temporary
Summer like air
I listen to that all

she
the one made of fume and ice
brought
the soul of the fish
as big as human
holding up in her arms
under full moon
to the beach of the ocean

her transparent ******
broadened the dark waters
to balance the embodiment

as she stood
ageless-straight
to bless and be blessed
by her gift
as flesh and blood

the wind

made of her long hair
blew
cosmic desire

awakened
across ahead
above
ripple glitter

an angel

made of
of light
hung
above
up

o the roughened
as if twilight

o the moonlight

reflected
the she
made of

or illusions
or of myths

same way
with a fish
in her arms

they exchanged
the yet not-materialized

in emotionless boldness

for a moment
that differentiates
upon acceptance

questionless
synchronous
for the grounding
of being

as for her
it was not possible to deliver and leave

she was made of her gift
as much as she was she
as much as fish was her creation
she came to the sea

she stays as she stands towards eternity

if not right
let rendered solemn
lithify  
and salute
the exploit of its rhetoric
if right
let the deed be its myth

for the generations unborn

she made of wisdom
of her gift
she made of moon particle
started flowing towards
the reshaping
rocks to coral
coral to light
in bits and pieces
moment by moment

as wavelengths of
the angelic
faded like
the fading diamonds

along the fins and scales
of blue orange green

the flesh
the immaterial but real
rose the sea smell

for a joyous jump

a big salty splash
created by
a rush
of life

glitter recouped
at dawn
with a rising sun

our immovable dance
threads  the great canvas
of no thing
made of and by
our knowing  
the carrier of sound
stretches
by love
and plays
lights and shades
along the
ever changing curls
of a velvet universe

---

if there is two
it is not even at two separate
ends

but a base of being
for and of
each other

we cannot say that
for each one of the two
there is a sense of two

when one is not existential
without the other
then the other is not the other
but the way for the one to be  

selflessly

then one sees one
then one knows one

Love

one love to one love
like a sheet of purple gaze

flows along
and permeates
one another

it is the dance of grace

in between the two
lies the universe

for they balance
as ever distincts
the sparks of
the tale of things

ah pure love within itself knowing the other
ah pure love source of all divine dance

spans

the carrier of creator’s subtlety

the sign of all creation  
living on its own
– apart from its creator

we hear inside

---

silence of
the vacuum
omnipresent
as one sound
-but not a thing-
permanently
enlightening
nameless
it remains

*
in a wisdom
where
time cannot
be traveled
as long  as
time is defined
to create
time

Deja vu
of Deja vu!

Activated by a reading
about some voluntary
and involuntary ...

and an awareness
about it...

Questioning still your role:

as something
slipped through
the cracks of clouds
whose unknowing
is helplessly known
and as synchronicity of love
slowly oozes to disappear
now

for good

and unfolds my soul ****
to the last remains
of my desire for you

in shapes of

as if … etched on aether

May these be an aerial view
of ancient landscapes without history
drawn by primordial eyes

A simultaneous action
engulfing
Karma

as white blood cells would
do to an invading agent
and digest to purify it
as a source of themselves

or like Martian waterways
as a mirror
adequate for life improbable
for unchanging minds

If space has a function
and
if you fill that space with yourself
then
you become the soul of that function.

OK. Got it!

If x is space reserved for love in y
and
if U comes and squads x in y
then
U becomes x for y
so
it is not U that y loves in reality (isn’t it?)
when
y has no other choice
than
reflect its space within - as is?

in human terms by emotions
as/ if
love is emotion’s gift
and I know that there are realms
where vice versa of that statement does not always return true
in these places love can go beyond
so something like this:
love is absolution for all realms – unconditional

Yes. It is.

not bound to the condition of emotion

yeah yeah yeah bla
you better shut up now

well
it is then maybe something like this:
I don’t like my toe
and I really don’t
but I love my toe
and I really do
because my toe is my toe?

however
as irreplaceable as a toe remains
replaceable is
the soul of the function of such space in this context
as a result
U becomes equal to ‘dump’ if you want
where ‘dump’ is a soul variable of love

or  not?? Am I now confusing somewhat?

For once I have known what it means to be at now and be only now.
For once I appreciated a cobweb on my face at tree level as a sign of my life.
Something that used to be so scary converted to confirmations of existence just.
Oh the fright be a torchlight and yes I have made it indeed or died.
...
Is that maybe why I feel so high sometimes?
Cannot use my eyes?
Does eating coconut help for some gravity?
My body said to do so recently.
...
but so anyway I have good news :
that ongoing heartache is gone now :)
So wipe off your care about my worrisome insomnia.
...
And guess what!
Apparently I owe my new health to your new affair!
After I rang your ‘concept of friendship’ bell,
unattended highs dropped ties deep down a steep mountain valley.
Amended a past blasphemy to praise your love only.
It's like a heart delivery after halved one's compulsory adversity.
...
and there I left you under a pine tree
observing me as if ******
Shine now you the one facing the sun at dawn
beyond that steep valley
where once we danced arm in arm
in laughter and joy and purity
but I slipped -
slipped down  left
towards a darkness lit by mourners’ prayers
was that really a dream?
or have you once again saved my life?
...
so listen, listen now peacefully to the song of the stream running beneath.
Make that water sound like my spirit
and let me go back to my exile land.
...
A cow said don't worry he will be happy
Radio said don’t you forget about me
and I wept
a riverfall of farewell
but NO I cannot take you with me this time
but ditch you to purity
so call it home if you like and be me
as we have always been since eternity.

Fume of the mystic air
flows to create
an invisible lodge
a harmonic rhythm
of knowing the other.

Sanctuary of Love
shelters the Kiss.

Received touch
makes up
points of  Desire
as flesh and blood
from the etheric.

She,
A fluid transparency
made of interchangeable
unique crystalline particles
of unseen color,
Reflects
an indefinable atomic structure
Draws contours of a  body
that subtly shapes along the kiss.

‘Kiss me’
is a thankful whisper
‘Play me to a oneness’
gratifies the breath
along  her neck,  
lips, forehead  
and knees
an anechoic chamber of limpid breeze
rectifying bliss
an irrefutable awareness of joy  
a gifted  Unity
an honored desire

She feels the
colors of zephyr and without visualizing
grows into the derived equivalence
of emerging pinks or  jutting greens
she is destined to remain as invisible as
his’… not owned - not reserved
interdependency

‘nothing stays nowhere
a thing is not received  if you are not there
A blessing of the moment  is everywhere
you are drawn to where and what you truly were’

As the body gets formed
miracle gets real
As miracle gets real
the body gets formed

and mutates
a lucent gate
towards a universe
so The wind can pass

At the edge
she molds
to …
…. a
……….something new

The lover the love
The now at now
senses itself  
in white lines
a bridal delicacy
‘A flower’
tales say
with myriad petals
living at the edge of the universe

She reads the volatile coolness
of the warm colored
differently sized light trace  that
the fumes,
the kiss ,
the breath,
the blow,
the zephyr,
the lover
has become for her

she traces
his ever expanding Trace
so that perpetually  he shall progress
for the universe
while she remains
and observes
as her nature requires her to be
as their dual existence is conditioned to
as is nature’s one
unconditional
or Love’s

She,  the precision of  joy that he creates for
the eternal witness of bliss
Colored by divine light
of rejuvenation
of freedom
of truth
breathes
at a place beyond thoughts
at the edge of a universe.

And she opens her arms
to the sides

Dances
with the coronary

ethereal  flowers

ambrosial to the heart

A mimic
inviolable

In the same frequency

of the touch
of the lotus

encircling
my waist

one body
Divine

an indispensable
Lucid trace
to a mind pure

A volatile image of the
universe
in the universe
as the universe

and
almost always there
to be dispersed
like condensed vapor
for the enlightenment
of the other - unaware
of the truth of the self

Rising
from the crest

light of I
the only reason of I
My love dancing
now

Enjoy yourself
All my teachers say
So I go to the beach
for a chat
during sunset
I meet a boy
His eyes as  if
from an epic
I know
The wind is what he truly plays
I watch him
change the shade
which now gently displays
along the corners of
the boulders made
of the diamond
of the sun to
perpetually shine
its’ brightest
through the corals
of the hazy mind
I cannot hear
what he says
but listen to see
more of his
enchanting face
and keep this
as a beautiful
memory
of romance
or a dream
delicately preserved
for times after sun sets.

Hey! What a cool man you are!
I sit here and realize for the first time.
Looking at the red horizon of the sunset
Tunes of red flights in my ears
make me flow along its fumes
Peace in my heart and  yes I realize
only now where I finally am
Fully one with my red *******
sitting cross-legged on a red carpet
noticing the red sleeves of my shirt covering my wrists
expressing the redness of the nail-polished finger ends
stretched playfully
above the blue green octagons
holding a physics of the invisible
as if a ball made of color
pushes blissfully towards the interiors of my palms
contrasting the red squares of my long colorful winter dress
I see the red almond heart on top of the last heart shaped dark-chocolate
left on the table just and wonder if I should eat but I leave it
as a memorial piece of my flowing composition
while I polish the red of my favorite *** with my thoughts
accommodating a gloomy **** before the fractured rays
As if I see the reds that she once saw
before her eyes got blurry somehow
As if these reds haven't been red for ages but now
where I fully am - as I now - can see again
So I take a mirror and put on a blood red lipstick
wiping hopelessly the gush off the irregular contours of my lips
till it fits perfect
somethings never change I say relieved
I still don't know how to put on a lipstick
and hurriedly grin back to check
if all sits okay so that I can start looking at me now
with your eyes and lip
Hey ! What a cool woman you are!
I sit here and realize for the first time after sunset now.

I wonder so much
What kind of talk that was
held in secrecy
The one shared with him only

He knows that ‘I OF SHE’ knows

But not me!

It could have only been me  instead
and the ‘EYE OF SHE’...

Knowing now
EYE OF SHE is me
or ‘I OF SHE’ is EYE OF SHE

And I and EYE and SHE are all the same

So all are me  
or something like me

In essence ...of course
In essence...only
where
‘I am’
is same as
‘I is’
(this is not always the case)

but He
He also knows
even before me!

and maybe even
even his friends know!

And still and not yet I /

Yes I also suspect that
It is a possibility

A collaboration
says
‘For a divine reason’
presumably

But am I a conscious part of that collaboration?

Has that reason already been shared with me?

I mean the Me me me ?

Has that already been pronounced openly
that time...while in secrecy?


I wonder that ...

And yes
And still not I
Not yet
but
At least this part is clear now
Clear enough to be confirmed as such

But Why?  
Why on earth
did she choose for him
and not me?

I know there must be a reason
I know she does not make mistakes
But I only also hope now that
she does not really make mistakes

Or does she?
Or can she?

So I wonder
Wonder still
And so much
What kind of talk that was
Held in secrecy
The one shared with him only
And why
Why on earth
did she choose for him
and not me

that blond girl
with long long hair
is a color
of delightful luminosity
glaring
by a precise
poetic sensuality
of the tongue
tapping the palate
hitting the right note
concurrently
manifesting a tone
an equivalence of a smile
in all worlds

She –
made of lustrous transparent rose skin
is a goddess of temptation
the curling ice queen
on a museum floor
manifesting ****** to
not believing eyes
once dressed up
in tightly packed dark clothing
unfitting to the straight torso

jutting out the shine of
her far away alluring looks
the porter of ancient nordic landscapes is her eyes
which you’d choiceless fly through

She – the divine breeze made to softly aerate
angelic locks –
innocence of youthful dreams
joy may you call her laughter -unheard – freezing time
rebuilding traces of an unlived dream

She is here today

to harmonize the thought chords
attuned by the subtle passage
made of blurry sets of colors and lines
flowing at a readable rate  
along the dark November backgrounds
of an intoxicated Sunday morning

Red is still red in the neon
as if too early to be awake
clock hitting the afternoon
wall of fame signs rolling lonely
to haunt ghosts of yesterday nights
which have never come alive until they got brighter than the stars

Dark that shall make the silhouettes forget and reanimate
the never starting and neverending play of zombies
looking for a pure soul

always somewhere else
failing to find one

Flashes of illusion swept by the persistent horns

to be replaced in their place
not as divinity
but as an administrative layer of impurity
All replaceable at once
while everyday stays the same
while everyday they think is different
except for the old man

the old man doesn’t think
wearing a cap
sits there outside
at the most invisible corner of an old theater café

He sees everything he has three eyes
He hears everything he has three ears
He reads everything always the same newspaper
turning the pages in the same tempo of this chimerical dream

I am being observed I know
while writing beside him
and he says silently :
I don’t wanna read yours
but I can read you
if i want to
and he attempts to go
many many times

while I write I wish him stay
as if keeping an admirer beside my words
an anonymous faceless friend
and I speed up as I walk fast with my pen I fly
and he gravitates back to his chair again
restlessly

I want to finish this up quickly and walk away at once without even looking at him not even once
that’s the perfect scenario I think mixing up a reality to a dream
considering the urgent importance of this line makes me immerse and see nothing other than the self  but alas the traffic lights turn to green

and She – the profile of my beauty queen
holding a beaker to go
raises her head dancingly
arcs the neck
and in slow motion
throws a laughter to the air
whose weight should be a blissful wiege
for my loving looks –
made of a shape of a missing
of what I could have never been
– halving her pink coat in well fitting blue to her jeans

and she steps forward to fade away
leaving me chained to the glorious gravity
of this untouchable dream

on this invisible island of mirrors
which neither she nor anybody else has ever seen
but me

hopelessly sculpting now
a reflection of an illusion
made real
through the weight of these words
me is  a sad melody
of an autumn leaf
falling for her dream

when we are
so well
Aligned

This transparency…

Everything

That can
ever be known

in the smiling awareness
of the unknown

kidding
the mind - (...like the one busy with western psychology etc.!)

The revealed
...now
in silence

in silence only

always now
in your light
by your light
as a basis
holding
tissues
intact

not needing
the outer edges
of a skin

so as to be called a beauty-queen

A goddess
A goddess just
in the shape of a universe

and not
the universe
knowing beyond the the

or
a god
a god just
Yes just

Simple as that
We are

Both the same"

We never met but when I think about you that sudden heavenly fragrance fills my air
Covers uncongealed irregular volumes of minimal fluid
Teases me to the level of my nose so that I can smell a forgotten reality.

Is that maybe the ability of your sobriety trespassing through my impenetrable doors
immaterializing the burden of the heaviness of my lost lamented selves to an all equally valid lucidity?
  
You came so close recently
while I was doing shopping on a gloomy rainy afternoon
creating a **** twist at an ending of my mouth line revealing
a sudden dreamy smile which had the inspiration to give birth to an orange flash of joy.

A joy that clears away the opaque broken colorless paint to a crystalline transparency
so that
so that I can see
the truth of me through your poetry.

We witness and observe at rest now
All of our indubitable aura
of equivalent authenticity
Hanging in balance
Subtly floating
Flowing the airy
In the suit of colorful wild flowers of an unknown prairie
and only this way
I can relate to each of me
without being afraid of losing the permanency
of you or of me.

for
‘As life fades…’
I’ve seen
an older face
through or
made of
lines
of gravity
with which
I am now
friends

this way
I surpass
just as
a psychic
tells and
embrace
the truth of
the self
beyond
the heavenly
and its
reverse
beyond
all that
persisting

polarity

Nah
we haven’t got adorning words
to describe which
cell memories awaken
by a lukewarm light
at nights
shaping these metallic lines
of a suggestion of
a temporarily
deserted  terrace
sticking out of
an apartment
storey of a
metropolis
Seagull

A shrill
Middling well
that just one star
Once
Horizontal
to my gaze
Piercing
Walls of
Futile
Dreams
Now

Once I was a pretty girl
Made of a big leaf
and a strong root
that grew to
fields of fruit
On each of my birthdays
I used to wear a dress
made of yellow flowers

I stayed so
Thinking to be
As strong but
Unable to walk
Like a tree
Or a tree
until
Until
I met he

He
who called me She
He a true
Human Being
He a true man
One of the strongest
Gentlest
Shiniest
Of its kind
dared to pluck
Me fully
Completely
For whom
I converted
From
A plant
To
As he says:
She

I walked the depths of
Mud hand in hand
With he
by which
my feet shaped
To toes
soft and pinky

He teach me
How to step
On the
Crystal shiny
Water smooth
Rocks
Rocks passaging
A delirious rush
Of dizzying fall
Only by the sound of
Such gobbly bubbly
turbulence
Sound of vertigo
He holds
My arm
Needles to ask
In sync fit time
He says
I help She
Because she is not
As strong as ….

Never using the word
Weak
Face of gentleness
With coal black
crystal
Shiny eyes
A smile like buddha
No he cannot hide
And no why would
He
When hide
İs only
İn my tongue

As he holds me
I feel light
Clearing my sight
As if on the moon
Defeating gravity
And voluntarily
Fully
Am
The She
For
He

In my terms
For Once  
enjoying
the Weak
Beautifully

Flying
By his strong palms
He who raised me to the
Blue of freest skies
Made of the joy of lovers
Brought me
to a cleanest Lagoons
A Queen's bath on another
Plane from where suns shine
Their brightest
to heal our worlds

And Lovers make love
As we walk hand in hand
Each of a stumble of mine
As if  a pure longing to touch
him longer
While i bathe ****
he politely looks the other side
And picks a blood red bloom
for me

Like a nature you used to be
And still are
A gift for you  
he says  by his light
Shining the purest
without any expectation

A Flower once gifted to Shiva
She and he now
Linga
She and he now
As all pray
to be a blessing of love
Maybe a dream
Maybe still here or there
Maybe the color of the sunset
on a new moon day
….

For he
He who warmed my heart today
He made of divine light
He who never will read my lines
Lines made of words
But for he
He who calls me She
He who I know
already Knows
He who
held my hand
once
on a new moon day.

You don’t want it falls
but it falls

A disc of transparency
made of glass-light
rounds the curly airy
towards a metropolitan valley
where street lights
continually dim
below skyscraper clouds

I jump to embody the
  <no it’s not meant for you
     no it’s not meant for me
     no it’s not meant for  it
     when
      it’s not meant
      for the catch>  
kinda stuff

the posture
of a moment
of the free fall
of free will

It was a dream or it was real.

this subtle passage
is the rhythm of
appearances of deserts
crossing horizons
sweeping mysteries
melting duality
to a mirage of
one day I will get it  right
type of longing
while silence remains
in one self-similar coral just

I have never seen such a star before!

It shines
by and to
the sides of my eyes
but only until I’d look up
to see it Fully

It has never been there maybe!

or is it its nature to just disappear
when
and because I look up ?

or are we
playing a game of
kika boo
to test
a rhyming faith?

which could
become a melody
to the lines of darkness
uncloaking us

once or thrice
does not seem matter
to the form of my observation

sheltering in a multicolored ice

Catch this subtle point of luminosity
Now ! - If you can

and once you have it
Set it free
or Stay there
as if meditating on headstand
and clear your mind

before night diffuses into light
and shines through a crystal
with a hidden star inside

I cannot prove If eyes are not be made of its
material
and only a deluded mind  -Alas !
questions

such useless
doubt of difference
of the other
by the other
about the other

And the other
always and only
drowning
in the corridors of beliefs
and thought-constructs

but
Is it not pointless
Trying to catch
a star
Camouflaged
in daylight ?
...
and sometimes recklessly
at the tip of my nose
makes me giggle just
as if a **** tickle
at a mystic corner
on a lover’s lip
longing for its kiss variant

then
I look down again
Tired of the silly mind game
Just to feel it by my side
A sweet friend
A sweet love
Made of my trust
Only appears
to the side of my eyes
So what!
A needle tip sized glitter
sourceless
Living only
in the reflection of the reflection
of a night sky
Shining on my window
behind which I hide now

my first steepest path of no return was just before a gorgeous mountain sunset.

a step by step ascending lesson of life and death executes a subconscious mantra in the head.

“let this trail cleanse the left!”
“oh you don’t even know what you wish for” a fallen rock said.

Dangers of naivety soon to become an inconvincible dance
arm in arm with a serpent deep down curling along a 50 minutes line.

What if it would be dark before reach?
No you don’t think that!
You don’t think anything there is not time for.
Make your each step the first full one and the last.
Questioning too is undone by each:
don’t look left, don’t look right, don’t look backs
stand upright, hurry not and move aheads.

He says stand upright ******
and I repeat
Every word that he says
I repeat.

Stand
I say,
I will,
will stand now again...
Making my sound a guide as if a movie or a dream but none,  
it’s for real this time.

Haven’t known sound could have such firing power,
it ‘s a conversion factor,
converts illusive threat jokingly to harsh reality.

Joking helps at moments as such of black and white,
brings in awareness by memorial color
and attention.
Oh If I have ever known have I dared to walk that path?
I presumably would have said: Hey you keep the faith, move ahead,
get slapped by the mountain for a chick tattoo on your forehead.”

or have I maybe known but hushed up by innocence?
... to be granted a new life as if a test!

Is that maybe why two horses heartily blessed me goodbye
after a cup of soup on a traveler’s inn and grounded my burning anxiety?

Life asks to shut the mind, switch off the emotion
Death requires the fantasy of the fright:
a slippery byproduct from the left or the right side.

maybe I play a trick on me

Unless he said ... unless you can cross the death.

but happy I am, happy now I did it I say, happy because I am alive I say
and these are mouthful of blubber just!

We both know it had to be done.
A prerequisite to undone a past is no choice and always comes in with a test.
Call it an initiation’s necessity – an immunization so blood knows how to fight
but also invites by incarnating the next - when once vaccinated ...

I say let the following be a goddess by the name of Grace
such as is a glimpse of a yellow flower on my thoughtless way  
78 degrees to the eye but perception marks its true coordinates
once a priceless confidence is granted through her sudden appearance
she says :
the mountain knows you
trust it so be it then you will see
without depending on your eyes
it is a curly, tunnel like track beneath the crown
light shines through on a straight line
illuminates sides of the caves
all at a moment of now
you shall see whichever path is the truth paved for you only

I am mute since then peacefully empty inside
silent, different, high
as if a part of me stayed at heavenly heights to endlessly be irrigated
I accept
without bringing in past emotions to fill the gap
no I fright not anymore not to have frights or ties  
a memory is lost and let me be empty inside

missed Letters :
A  B  C  D    F  G  H  I  J  K    M
N    P  Q  R  S  T  U    W ­ X  Y  Z

correct Letters =
_ _ _ _

Mi and Yu are well tuned on a common line of blue
When Mi strums blossoms a flower of blue
When Yu plucks flutters a bird of blue
Along the blues of blue highways
Mi and Yu shall meet one day to sing a song of blue
so that  the blues up above can tune to marry rain clouds
so that the blues down below can bloom the gloom
of lavender fields  
so that the blues in between can bolt airy shapes
to glitter their star thymidine
for waters
to mirror their matter
along the supreme
in transparent tones of aquamarine

When Mi takes off her blue flower patterned blouse
Yu holds a blue flower to touch her silky skin
all that love making happen in ripple glitter
along the surface of  a blue lagoon of my childhood dream

so ends the Mi line that starts the Yu line
so ends the Yu line that starts the Mi line
singing a neverending circular song of love
rounding hues -
expanding primary blues -
blooming glooms into
the coalesced blue
heart tones of Mi and Yu

Hello Little Prince
Your Eyes Shine
Like Emeralds Of Pines
Your Hair Made Of the Sun
You travel from Star to Star

I draw  each day since you are gone
in all color and form - sound and line
for our rejuvenating living particle
made of crystal of truth
I sense you water my lost dream

I the lover the queen of All Darkness
I the lover the goddess of All Light
remain unreachable
reside on  both -
of your own making they say
- undying and unborn star

Outside of the two or one
you travel to All the glittering
unknown but remembering
of those starting and ending
to recollect living pieces
of that forgotten dream

as if a scent to remember
from lavender fields
brought by a distant whispering
of a northern sky
to fade away
if you choose not to hear

Your experiences- real - reach as vivid pulse
of  a song -  a mantra of love
My roots sense to mature wisdom in all tones of Reds
Innocent is my heart longing for your glowing face
the greens of my leaves reflect
the color of the light of our secret seeing

I shall play no more games of extremes
for you to visualize of me other than what I am
I surrender to you  fully because I know you have seen
many of rose gardens and touched and smelled and cherished
each one - as vital as the cool mountain stream singing for
me the myth of your love spreading

I shall no more play games other than the truth that connected us inseparably
We gave birth to fertility through the bite not more painful than a thorn on my stem
Our love born of the poison of the serpent that connected us
We travel to be healed and to heal the universe
in our shell as we experience to learn and teach
not a mystery but a technology is love where
I shall see you again beyond the body

I the lover of healing fully flowing on one line
Crossed valleys made of fractals of blessings
My colorless strong hair carrier of red blue yellow and green glitter
on streams reaching the oceanic clearing as the victorious salty jump of a whale

As the Heart purifies its Crystal - We Be  One -
Our Home - You - I -. The Rose -
Not the Unreachable - The Dark - None of those Extremes -
but a Rose is I Just  like One of the Many Other Ones -
but One Of a Kind on A Tiniest but A Home for Us Planet  Under Stars
Us --  The Little Prince - The Rose - bring love to universe - when whoever on planets looks up  in pure knowing - to Skies shall sense among all other  Stars Skies and Hearts -  a Universe  made of  Glowing  Vibrating Expanding Delivering Joy is  Divine Love
of the Rose and the Little Prince and the Tiniest Planet made of a living Crystal Heart of Dreams
of the Drawer or of the Reader or of the Dreamer or of You or of I