hihihi
so let’s make him fall in love with her
for fun
so they can play hide and seek
in the endless corridors of their spaceship
where time doesn't exist
All made of a dream
anyone can visit
and listen to the echoes
of a never found love
bouncing back in minds

Imagine
randomly distributed
never settling cycle
dissolving details of cutout silhouettes
resembling maybe a hand
maybe a heel or a skin
always a tip of something fleeing

you name it then
we make it - a classic
always just around the corner
a Fun-set that can easily convert
to a horror movie of one’s mind

It’s a choice really
the hihihi
bewildered eyes indissoluble
Is sche cryin or laugin?
kinda thing

so let’s make him fall in love with her
for fun
so we can see the
hihihi

only today

on my way

I found a flower

flower of the wind

white…

Picked it up

slowly

looked through

to connect

almost transparent

made a wish

in silence

then blew it…

to you

time stopped there

for me.

you can’t do this when you do this for that
I said

she was Folding

oh so hurriedly!
all the time
in that
Eraserhead style

brr!

only to be replaced
for the next

only to be replaced
for the next

which is not here yet
and will never be

you can’t do this when you do this for that
I said

like a chorus to her verse
of each of these layers
she blindly holds
as if in her hands

with a duh! and a ****!
my layers against hers’
finally she hears!

and at once
transforms
to
her dress
socks
shirt
*******
blouse

one by one

by
my song

such a hard hit
only once
tinkles
now as a mantra
in her head

unfolding

all her
hidden
layers
slowly
and  patiently

I am fine you know
having just one
everyday still is a different day
by the light
I shine

takes a bit of courage maybe
but she will  learn
someday
and
on that
heartfelt day

she will
be
an  earnest
puppet
like me

and sing
just as I say

you can’t do this when you do this for that

Pure desire is what shaped this body
Pure desire is what healed this finger I burnt yesterday
instantaneously with just one mantra
so that I can write my love word to you

Pure desire is what I am
And will be
for one of your touch
And shall stay so  
always near
or from far away
with whoever you wish to be
Feeling you this way
Is my joy
I shall gift as love
And sprinkle to universe
Knowing you are I

Wishing you gift
This passion
To enlighten and rise
Humanity to a level
That they truly are
And should be
The highest
Of gods
And goddesses

Let’s touch them
With pure love
Let them be free
Free oh free
Peace to three worlds
Of  hearts
Let them make love
And stay free

No matter what forms
you choose to assume
Which life stories
you get involved in
I only know you as I know myself
When every morning
I open my eyes
Rested or tired
in dim lights
By one of your call
Of my name in your
Mind
I shall awaken
And kiss you
as if you are by my side
In serene silence
Listen to the dawn-welcomers
and know your heart is with me
Just as today
Just as yesterday
Just as now

You have no names for me
All names are you
Your name equals to all names
I shall always remain
After and before a touch
As one language
Of pure desire for you

Pure desire is what enlightens my path
To give birth to you by my breath
And make love to you in human form
Pure desire is what keeps me long
for the eternal day in shapeless form
I’ll stay in one posture of our love
Of you and I

Once my duty as a beloved
Is completed
On this world

For you
And
for you
And
for you

If space has a function
and
if you fill that space with yourself
then
you become the soul of that function.

OK. Got it!

If x is space reserved for love in y
and
if U comes and squads x in y
then
U becomes x for y
so
it is not U that y loves in reality (isn’t it?)
when
y has no other choice
than
reflect its space within - as is?

in human terms by emotions
as/ if
love is emotion’s gift
and I know that there are realms
where vice versa of that statement does not always return true
in these places love can go beyond
so something like this:
love is absolution for all realms – unconditional

Yes. It is.

not bound to the condition of emotion

yeah yeah yeah bla
you better shut up now

well
it is then maybe something like this:
I don’t like my toe
and I really don’t
but I love my toe
and I really do
because my toe is my toe?

however
as irreplaceable as a toe remains
replaceable is
the soul of the function of such space in this context
as a result
U becomes equal to ‘dump’ if you want
where ‘dump’ is a soul variable of love

or  not?? Am I now confusing somewhat?

I feel so Silent Today
Its Sunday
You Play a Tune
The Leaves They Move
Hold A rhythm to My Gaze
You Say
Say Something From Far Away
It Shines but
I am a Bit Knocked Out
A Bit Fuzzy TODAY
UUUU  UUUUU
Its still EARLY SO EARLY
Floating still
Beneath a Prairie
UUUU UUUUU

I feel so Great Today
Its after Sunday
We met to Recharge and laugh and
CryListenSingSleepDrinkSmokeHang
OverDanceParacetamolWorkEatC­lean
WatchTouch and
UUUU UUUU

A lot of Impressions Indeed
my Power Friend
but it shines
shines Inspiration
towards
Towards a next Tune
UUUU UUUU

come on! put on your fancy pants!
you say, there's honey on my hands
or was that - was that …
your aaaaaaaaaasssssssssssss!?

crunching fallen leaves -  
looking for a guitar now.

oh no rush- no hurry
hush you the breeze
play a cool theme of color
leftover of summer
like an orange or green red  blue yellow and serene

walking on your side
with my fancy hat - glittery in the head
on a spacey -gorgeous roadside
under a fall's sunlight

oh looking for a  guitar now
that plays the tune of a magnolia tree

oh dream catch me - rays of the blossoming tree  
just for me, for me, for the flowerless me
cause I continue singing for you  
oh for you, for you, only for you.

but here it comes again
dim lights - before dusk or dawn
through the kitchen window,
as a shadowy side line
no, no, it’s not inviting the pasts ghosts for supper,
not so scary - not sorry- not to suffer,
not so moody anymore,
it’s gonna be fun! just fun!
we're gonna have pasta with broccoli
after chocolate and petting the *****

hey where are you hiding kitty!?!
come on out! - tune in to our song 
oh where are you
come on out now
Lolaaaaaaaaaaa
la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaa

holy is the body that makes love to me
holy is the gaze that gifts me timeless landscapes
holy is the touch weaving the lodge of our union
holy is of sound that resonates and gives birth to a wavelength of silence  
holy is the wind that breaths along my face and surrenders
holy is me when I stand on top of this mountain with you

For once I have known what it means to be at now and be only now.
For once I appreciated a cobweb on my face at tree level as a sign of my life.
Something that used to be so scary converted to confirmations of existence just.
Oh the fright be a torchlight and yes I have made it indeed or died.
...
Is that maybe why I feel so high sometimes?
Cannot use my eyes?
Does eating coconut help for some gravity?
My body said to do so recently.
...
but so anyway I have good news :
that ongoing heartache is gone now :)
So wipe off your care about my worrisome insomnia.
...
And guess what!
Apparently I owe my new health to your new affair!
After I rang your ‘concept of friendship’ bell,
unattended highs dropped ties deep down a steep mountain valley.
Amended a past blasphemy to praise your love only.
It's like a heart delivery after halved one's compulsory adversity.
...
and there I left you under a pine tree
observing me as if ******
Shine now you the one facing the sun at dawn
beyond that steep valley
where once we danced arm in arm
in laughter and joy and purity
but I slipped -
slipped down  left
towards a darkness lit by mourners’ prayers
was that really a dream?
or have you once again saved my life?
...
so listen, listen now peacefully to the song of the stream running beneath.
Make that water sound like my spirit
and let me go back to my exile land.
...
A cow said don't worry he will be happy
Radio said don’t you forget about me
and I wept
a riverfall of farewell
but NO I cannot take you with me this time
but ditch you to purity
so call it home if you like and be me
as we have always been since eternity.

She shaped as she
on top of that one mountain
carrying all waters of the world
with one of her infinite hands
on top of her head
under that night sky
an offering she was or it
to the moon

the carrier of half moon a copper plate
the lover the moon a reflection of herself
inspiring beauty as a shine
she could reach to the non condensed matter
of a planet where you and I come from
pure light of our home to refract the unseen
that could travel as fast as love
to awaken the rainbow
of our combined heart
a rainbow that could appear
on the world after rain

Rain was her true name
she meditated as her name
for you
as you wished for her
to inspire the smells of condensed fume
she evaporated under that moon

Next day
I guess on a Sunday
one day after a sunny bright cool day
I woke up
not opening my eyes
I knew
the sun would be behind the clouds
I knew unmoving how air felt
I did not know why
until questioning stopped
until my choice of unacceptance of
what is -
what I am -
what I created to be for that day -
gave up
for that was not an affordable weight
morning called instead
maybe a gift the greens said
as they got deeper darker in their greenness
to be praised by the clouds
settled as if they have always been  on these skies
they always do so arrogant
it’s their nature I say
they are as is required to be
I did not mind
and
it rained

and
it rained
and rained
and rained
and I knew
I was awake
and I knew
I rained
and rained
and rained
I rained
for you

Oh the enchanting
Silhouette of the winter bird
appearing
On such January morning
with a tail
Implying the precise degree
of an acute angle
Between two **** branches

You are making an imaginary roof
for your sweet roundish oval head
Fitting it exactly
under a perpendicular space
equal to the height
of the opening
of one missing panel
of my venetian blinds

through which I am peeping right now
safely below the closure points
Of a spectral  line

Made by your precision
to manifest
a beauty of an
illusively two dimensionalized
Isosceles Triangle of a
branchy reality

These ever changing orange blue
dashes of an upcoming
Early morning With smoky fumes
are wisely making the volatile
roof for your house

an opposite line
halves to deliver
two adjacent lines
at a perpendicular point
to reserve permanently
its never changing cosine

and still it seems to be
Preserving  some of the
fading brittles of stars within

Ah such a home is to be!
where you can peacefully
Fatten and
Rest the tip of your
Belly
to say
This dot of the tangent
Belongs to me
Inhaling
Exhaling
And changing
to a new colored
vitreous roof
of yours

Unmoving
there
Like the buddha
of all silhouettes
Sculpted to
Guard skies only

Oh wise bird
Please
Will
You stay here
And meditate
For me??

I said carelessly
through a slightest
slip of the tongue
and tired body

but before I could
realize and correct
correct it as:
And meditate here
With me??

He instantly turned
his head towards me
And flew
Away

Rightfully :(

Leaving
Me
Helpless
Looking
at a reflection
of my silly longing
Between
The deserted
Space
Of two skinny
Fragile
Branches

Once served
As a melodious
Golden
Cage
Fruiting
Seeds
Of
Reality Dreams
of an Old Tree

He
whom I once met
along three cities
sends me
fleeting messages now
about suns and clouds
from a magic land

while
I am awash
in the passion
of a gargantuan orange ball
almost bouncing
the pungent shade
of my Nordic dream

Like jewels he said
Unknowing
I kept these last two
like jewels

The unchanging gift
of the grandeur tree

Aging

through the
unchanging change
of the seasons…

in the garden of tales

with Roses
A cherry tree
An owl
A weasel
A pomegranate tree
A well
A frog
An apple and a plum tree
A snake and an urchin
and the peculiar birds in a row:
A laughing bird
A singing bird
A napping bird
A rushing bird and
A guarding bird
The last one also
gives them many changing tasks
using verbs
and they become many
also disappear sometimes
as if there hasn’t been any

And of course
The bees!
Spiders too
strange insects too

Sometimes
A cat passes
not always!
changing its shape and color
each time it passes
I know
it is the cat

Sometimes people visit
Not always

changing the place
of the fireplace
by the season
from outsides
to insides and then again
from insides to outsides

And an an orphan dog
abandoned there
by one of such people
that he trusted
and if there would be a chance
He would trust again

He is always there nowadays
Alone mostly
sheltering
in my shadow

and Only he knows
where I have been hiding

In the shadows of the shadows

which also stays

Even though
Leaves change
Branches change
Creatures change

And
will stay
As long as he is there
Looking for love

cause My shadow
made of
a heart
of dreaming him like a jewel
from beyond a far far Land –
Shadowless

Now

*Our secret is your secret
Our secret is my secret
your secret and my secret is
Our secret

You don’t have to come
when it’s my call apart!?

I am following the route of
my promise
given
to a child
a girl with a stray cat
always found by the same cat  
different color
different shape
once she also read the Tripods
long ago
but

No
You are not
her White Mountains
I met you on the way

Find the truth
for me- she said
in plain joy
bring us home
when you grow up

Home was where you could create magic

A spherical  -transparent ball
a living crystalline - singing
made of colorful -universe particles

don’t forget
this one also has a crest
remains invisible to
they who do not
already know
the way - inscribed
along caves
above the eye-  and
promise to keep me
alive by your side
as a beat in your heart

I promised
...
I grew up
...
I forgot
…

Forgot to remember

until I met love
until I heard the beat
and remembered
and escaped just

No
You are not so near
You are always here
It was me who ran away

I saw it all coming
before
our roads crossed
and planned to
lend you my heart
for a temporary time
of mortal maybe
while
calculating
if -s

If
I were
not
good enough
for me
for you
for her
…

Keep it well I said
and plain for me
cause I gotta be free
and promise to always
stay oceans away
from me
is
our decree of creativity

Pains I passed
belonged to
the absence of
her or of you
were set as traps
on  both sides
of a rewinding tape
each gaze pulled us back
to the same awful track
until I learned to move ahead
cause you gotta be free
yeah and  keep it well for me
cause we gotta be free

For we
I travelled worlds
of  the destroyer
until I learned to destroy time
and move ahead
from a central soundless line
some of the illusionary erased
others of truth stayed
to make difference
at shores of wisdom
at  waters of innocence
at crests of all sense
I was healed for
the healed is here
to heal
but
alas
in the meantime
you made my heart real

Choiceless and reduced to one
I bounced back to you and
to a place where we started
as if  a promise is broke now
or of decree surpassed
hoping the -only if-
by creativity
?
all we can do is walk
the unknown verse
made by a quest
towards the sun
we shall see then
the golden dawn
at rest is at now
blessed we are and one
truth of her dream we become
or else none (be destroyed by time)

and they sang bold
the chorus of her dream

Is she home yet?
or still out playing ? ...again with that cat
mom said
as if
...
but no
all I heard was my heartbeat.

she
the one made of fume and ice
brought
the soul of the fish
as big as human
holding up in her arms
under full moon
to the beach of the ocean

her transparent ******
broadened the dark waters
to balance the embodiment

as she stood
ageless-straight
to bless and be blessed
by her gift
as flesh and blood

the wind

made of her long hair
blew
cosmic desire

awakened
across ahead
above
ripple glitter

an angel

made of
of light
hung
above
up

o the roughened
as if twilight

o the moonlight

reflected
the she
made of

or illusions
or of myths

same way
with a fish
in her arms

they exchanged
the yet not-materialized

in emotionless boldness

for a moment
that differentiates
upon acceptance

questionless
synchronous
for the grounding
of being

as for her
it was not possible to deliver and leave

she was made of her gift
as much as she was she
as much as fish was her creation
she came to the sea

she stays as she stands towards eternity

if not right
let rendered solemn
lithify  
and salute
the exploit of its rhetoric
if right
let the deed be its myth

for the generations unborn

she made of wisdom
of her gift
she made of moon particle
started flowing towards
the reshaping
rocks to coral
coral to light
in bits and pieces
moment by moment

as wavelengths of
the angelic
faded like
the fading diamonds

along the fins and scales
of blue orange green

the flesh
the immaterial but real
rose the sea smell

for a joyous jump

a big salty splash
created by
a rush
of life

glitter recouped
at dawn
with a rising sun

I changed a title recently
Not so deliberately
neither to bother nor to make happy
but a joke at most
when it comes to wishful thinking.

It was a moment in the shower
‘a bit of singing
a bit of equation solving
a bit of cleansing’
then I knew what was missing
so it goes...
while you do as if you are not thinking
but you still think
with the side of your mind
during sleeping
cooking
washing the dishes
ironing
…

All these irrelevant daily tasks
serve for creating motion
to resolve an x
that sits not so right
in your mind
towards some essence

I changed a title recently
Not so deliberately
to make you happy
or sad
or paranoid
or mad

It's just a matter of knowing
the true self
at most

tell me if there is more than that
but I know you can’t.

Mi and Yu are well tuned on a common line of blue
When Mi strums blossoms a flower of blue
When Yu plucks flutters a bird of blue
Along the blues of blue highways
Mi and Yu shall meet one day to sing a song of blue
so that  the blues up above can tune to marry rain clouds
so that the blues down below can bloom the gloom
of lavender fields  
so that the blues in between can bolt airy shapes
to glitter their star thymidine
for waters
to mirror their matter
along the supreme
in transparent tones of aquamarine

When Mi takes off her blue flower patterned blouse
Yu holds a blue flower to touch her silky skin
all that love making happen in ripple glitter
along the surface of  a blue lagoon of my childhood dream

so ends the Mi line that starts the Yu line
so ends the Yu line that starts the Mi line
singing a neverending circular song of love
rounding hues -
expanding primary blues -
blooming glooms into
the coalesced blue
heart tones of Mi and Yu

wishes fall as
a piece of pink rock
with a heart
to a mountain lake

Hey the ripple
shake and slap and break
the reflection of an untouched land
create a tunnel
of truth
an absolute audibility
to the spirit of the identical
they reside at both ends
and create a whirl of universal secrets
secrets to those
That Are
so that
They can Be
and restore it back
back to the ripless beauty.

Oh what am I doing?
Where am I?

She suddenly arises
and finds herself
write alone
at the corner of a street café

Almost midnight
Traffic
-an ambiguous passer by-
endlessly composes
lingering silences  
in between

with a half gaze
around half a circle
She gradually notices
a half drunk cold-now
cup of tea
a half eaten pastry
some halved eyes
eyeing her
behind half a skull  
in curiosity

but
her half look
is being called urgently
down again
by the reverie

She as if from another planet
sees back her hands  

Hands write on just
ceaselessly
without needing her
without her knowing

Wow! she says
and  sinks back to her dream
to become a truth of the words

There is a light
we hold
it shines
-almost literally-
from inside
and
illuminates

like when
the electric bulb
first time realized
the essence
of its very source

and
Now

still in a same
fit for itself box
enlightens
the once a dark corner
by the embracing romance
of its truth

As visible such a bulb is to eyes
(and as such )
sensuous is this light to us
when we  fully are
and
inside the heart

and
Now
Whenever
we breathe
in asana
the sun shines
for the one
receiving
this
blissful
rhyme

an excerpt from internet:
"In fact, one interpretation of quantum physics is that physical reality does not objectively exist independent of the participating observers. "

maybe it really is
as my good friend says teasingly
that I be no good
with kitties n kiddos

“But you are good among them!
There is difference you know
They love to play with what
they recall as one of them”

No offense!
he adds and laughs
I smile - Yeah?

Does he mean ...maybe
These kitties and kiddos
are some sort of teachers?

which I mix up with love?

while they only mean  to break
my circle symmetry so I can rise
up a spiraling uncertainty ?

Is that why I fell for Second Law
then crashed ...with the all of me
gorged inside to be scattered outside?

Easy way out I guess
sleeping with books
cheating me
I can read
while asleep

and now
from these times and lines
dunno what really still trails
hopefully a piece of mind
that dares
to question the essence
of the glorious teachers
who illustriously tried to show
a fleshing out truth
of me

it’s no mystic the reply to the question
‘but when do I see?’
one step away lies truth
always in love and made of now

I better be asking… then
when dare you pass?
and stay
and be
now?

Listen to the beat
Take the road
you always compose
silences
of traffic of light
frequency of each pass
renews an auditory
tone of an unknown speech
the colored pitch
tap N
speed up
to cut to
edit
a fading melody
a distortion in reality
to awaken the forgotten symphony
hung in ears while you are half asleep
singing a truth of you from all of you
a gifted silence from your source well
is a wish to come true

Time proposes to Now
Now refuses
Time protests "Oh! What Now? What Now?"

There is only Love to Love
because Love has a pure mind

There is no word that recalls its antonym
for Love
because All words equal to Love

There is no duality in Love
Love embraces only

There is no renunciation in Love
No owning
No conditions
No sacrifice
No longing

because
Love knows
Questionless
Wordless
All actions as Love

because Love is
because you are

Lost in the dreamiest corridors
of presumptions of love
We play hide and seek somewhere
Hung as a  coordinateless  terrace
All made of glass
We perpetually follow a fading echo
resonating our halved hearts

The horror movie made of our minds
A game of endless seeking made of defined time
A jarring laughter of fleeing lines
Sweeping long hair before or after an
edged out fold of an elbow
In prison we are

Caught in  an incessant illusion of expectation of body mind
we seek a time shell
to become the bath of you’s holy breath
and always to a you we cling on as a superfluous desire
misting the enlightened transparency
reflecting the hues of time blurred gleam
An ever escaping dream I am in and
I am hurt until we shall forget to be the very
not resisting move of a prayer
and so  we shall convert  to a thoughtless residue of our own light  
and so we shall pass bodiless through to the lover or I

I used to know a lemon tree
Standing alone
at the backyard of the gardens
beneath where a dear friend
flourished green plums
yearly

We got to know each other
On a moment
not so many hours left
to sunset

Maybe it was after some lunch and an afternoon nap

against such rules not even once I protest

maintaining to be happy
with whatever comes to me
Yeah
whatever comes to me
to sustain
a peace appropriate to my role
in the family

Ah yes
my friends
still were there
...
Maybe a hidden cover of a candy
maybe a play of a shadow here and there
Where at other times other creatures
would play
...
A scary probability!
to wipe away for now
but not erase ‘the’-
‘Why would they hide themselves
In the corners of darkness?’

something to still discover later

while I used the time
to play secretly in a bed
where finally sleep could nurture me
always on the same set time
of the schoolless afternoons
of another summer holiday

One day after my nap or duty
and before dinner
when I was again
free
An idea struck me :

to try to climb
these very steep
perfectly squared
brick Stairs
to see
to which unknowing worlds it would lead me

from this far beneath
I always sense their bubbly trans

and the time has arrived
now
to test
that outguessed:

a beauty that
has already been preserved

into the shine
of the green plums

that gave it an existential strength

One of the many of my recording devices
For you never know in case times
If if
I would like to watch the same
as it has shaped itself
in my heart
Again

I would look then
to the shine
on specific time
and retrieve these worlds
back to me

“Oh my dear friend your greens make me laugh again and no one can hear that
but you!”

“So I will go now to these secret worlds and No
I am not afraid
It is an important task
First
To prove I am not afraid”

“Mom is still busy
And until the time I will be back
already”

I knew
The reality of these worlds
could be
dream-breakingly different than the bubbly
Belonged to the neighbors’ gardens
where I was not really supposed to be

but yeah as said
all grown ups were busy
at that time of the day
No one could see me
And so
I could peacefully talk to the not talking ones
before they could interfere us
and before I would need to reply them politely

so I went far up
and up up
and there I met this lemon tree

It was not big
Just a little bigger then me
These bizarrely straight  leaves
are almost bluer than greens
Blue-greens
although they look green
Shaped so ordinary
like a drawing of someone
who could only make a straight line
Too ordinary to be ordinary
That’s what I saw first
And that’s why I saw it maybe

I used to draw a lemon tree
kindly blown by the blue
of the wind
My visits  matching
Towards the end of the days
was set open
Preserving a secrecy
maybe about giving her a company
A presence towards which she
always remained indifferent
Maybe about
Getting to know us or me better
By slowly understanding
why she felt so gloomy
And what feeling so
meant

She was at a place where she was not supposed to be

Not knowing
Why she would never be able to grow fully
Lonely but respectful still
To the peculiarity I assigned to her

Her indifference
diffused into
That wind
defining a gloom of the day
would remain
Between us
until this day
to make me wonder
and to make
her
A bold memory

when we are
so well
Aligned

This transparency…

Everything

That can
ever be known

in the smiling awareness
of the unknown

kidding
the mind - (...like the one busy with western psychology etc.!)

The revealed
...now
in silence

in silence only

always now
in your light
by your light
as a basis
holding
tissues
intact

not needing
the outer edges
of a skin

so as to be called a beauty-queen

A goddess
A goddess just
in the shape of a universe

and not
the universe
knowing beyond the the

or
a god
a god just
Yes just

Simple as that
We are

Both the same"

Who is this beauty!
Who is this lover!
   experiencing
this body with me
        today!

through your eye
I can travel
landscapes
    of
a
long
missed
embrace

like rays
  
dilating

towards an
amaranthine Crest

along which She dances

in the arms
   of
       his ecstasy
that
       whirls
                and whirls

dissolving double
rainbows
into
the
      light

of becoming
     One

Body


Oh    for love only

and   for love only


such        an
      effortless
stance
    unmovedly
elongates

along three worlds

which I peacefully watch
(now)

with a mudra

mudra    
      of
         a smile
.
.
.
….
but AA YEA!)

That’s
    my Cheshire cat smile :)

    balancing
universes
in me
with your aura  *

pervading my skin

for
such smile
can only be kindled
by your distant
touch of love

color of the heart
to lift me
to a knowledge
unspeakable
unpronounceable

If you could be everyone for me
then I am sure nobody wants me.

Once I was a pretty girl
Made of a big leaf
and a strong root
that grew to
fields of fruit
On each of my birthdays
I used to wear a dress
made of yellow flowers

I stayed so
Thinking to be
As strong but
Unable to walk
Like a tree
Or a tree
until
Until
I met he

He
who called me She
He a true
Human Being
He a true man
One of the strongest
Gentlest
Shiniest
Of its kind
dared to pluck
Me fully
Completely
For whom
I converted
From
A plant
To
As he says:
She

I walked the depths of
Mud hand in hand
With he
by which
my feet shaped
To toes
soft and pinky

He teach me
How to step
On the
Crystal shiny
Water smooth
Rocks
Rocks passaging
A delirious rush
Of dizzying fall
Only by the sound of
Such gobbly bubbly
turbulence
Sound of vertigo
He holds
My arm
Needles to ask
In sync fit time
He says
I help She
Because she is not
As strong as ….

Never using the word
Weak
Face of gentleness
With coal black
crystal
Shiny eyes
A smile like buddha
No he cannot hide
And no why would
He
When hide
İs only
İn my tongue

As he holds me
I feel light
Clearing my sight
As if on the moon
Defeating gravity
And voluntarily
Fully
Am
The She
For
He

In my terms
For Once  
enjoying
the Weak
Beautifully

Flying
By his strong palms
He who raised me to the
Blue of freest skies
Made of the joy of lovers
Brought me
to a cleanest Lagoons
A Queen's bath on another
Plane from where suns shine
Their brightest
to heal our worlds

And Lovers make love
As we walk hand in hand
Each of a stumble of mine
As if  a pure longing to touch
him longer
While i bathe ****
he politely looks the other side
And picks a blood red bloom
for me

Like a nature you used to be
And still are
A gift for you  
he says  by his light
Shining the purest
without any expectation

A Flower once gifted to Shiva
She and he now
Linga
She and he now
As all pray
to be a blessing of love
Maybe a dream
Maybe still here or there
Maybe the color of the sunset
on a new moon day
….

For he
He who warmed my heart today
He made of divine light
He who never will read my lines
Lines made of words
But for he
He who calls me She
He who I know
already Knows
He who
held my hand
once
on a new moon day.

Sounds ancient   but
It hasn't happened yet
It's happening now!

when we are truly free
Mountains are our rocks
We their ears and eyes
meditate
Monumentalized
Watch oceans and skies
Sing a sacred song
outside timeness
Unknown to our minds
but with our hearts

You don’t want it falls
but it falls

A disc of transparency
made of glass-light
rounds the curly airy
towards a metropolitan valley
where street lights
continually dim
below skyscraper clouds

I jump to embody the
  <no it’s not meant for you
     no it’s not meant for me
     no it’s not meant for  it
     when
      it’s not meant
      for the catch>  
kinda stuff

the posture
of a moment
of the free fall
of free will

It was a dream or it was real.

I want to be all your love he wishes
Here she says it’s all yours so be it
She puts on happily her prettiest dress and prepares for their wedding dance
He looks up to the guy what she has made outta him as love
Upon seeing the stars and the universe he escapes
to a land of jealousy and self loath where he endlessly fights himself
and she just waits unknowingly for the return of her sweetheart
I remain eternally for my soldier leading the fight for freedom of love she says

Then I opened my eyes
how many years have I been a warrior as such
how many generations has passed through my lines
Unknowing
what is not important for my meditation
such questions of how many
just a reciprocal of the mundane worry
it was less than a moment
moment
as long as the age of universe
the warrior
they said
Then I opened my eyes
I opened my eyes and saw a tree I was
facing a warrior just
we melted into each other
becoming the core of material
knowingly
becoming one
lovingly
shall that stay
eternally
as my heart flows
towards I
I
just a tree
now.

so here you are!
when did you fly?
how could you survive
the not writing-
for that while ?
for me?
your galaxy?
mindlights near or away
did you stop really?
I know you are here
because words
fall now from the sky
your words
haven't got a screen
neither a pen
nor a home
It's raining love
your love
and will stay so
until
I'd be of source
of all waters
as plain as rain
and rain and rain

It is impossible not to sense the closeness
each time I close my eyes

Would that be closer than skins untouching ?

The gap: causing the desireless stress of presence

of the other
because of itself

My mind  
Discloses
****

For what
We celebrate is
a precision of love
made of
our wordless waves
that subtly replaces
and sculpts my
gross lines
to their
primordial

We are transparent
space casts its chassis
Made of us
Formats
our deserted shells

as we fuse
to fit in things
Color of sound
now as big as
its encapsulating hall
We are time only
to heal

I remain
irrespective
of your content
my awareness beyond
questions not
I am indiscriminately open
to all your appearances
and know this
and know that
is of I

From the way you say Hello
It is as if you're someone else today

From the way you muted
It's as if you were so tired yesterday

From the way I slept
it's as if I could have been  goaded
to revolve against the clock only if
I could dance
holding the mirage of your arms

but not even once have I deserted the
warrior dreams of a mystic healer    reserved to us along three cities

From the way of knowing
our story or sound or breath
I trust as always
and behold you engraved
still in the mundaneness of this shimmering starlight
keeping the beauty of its trail
as an illuminating code of truth of all worlds
Knowing perfectly where I truely stand

We never met but when I think about you that sudden heavenly fragrance fills my air
Covers uncongealed irregular volumes of minimal fluid
Teases me to the level of my nose so that I can smell a forgotten reality.

Is that maybe the ability of your sobriety trespassing through my impenetrable doors
immaterializing the burden of the heaviness of my lost lamented selves to an all equally valid lucidity?
  
You came so close recently
while I was doing shopping on a gloomy rainy afternoon
creating a **** twist at an ending of my mouth line revealing
a sudden dreamy smile which had the inspiration to give birth to an orange flash of joy.

A joy that clears away the opaque broken colorless paint to a crystalline transparency
so that
so that I can see
the truth of me through your poetry.

We witness and observe at rest now
All of our indubitable aura
of equivalent authenticity
Hanging in balance
Subtly floating
Flowing the airy
In the suit of colorful wild flowers of an unknown prairie
and only this way
I can relate to each of me
without being afraid of losing the permanency
of you or of me.