i really cant believe
that you cant see
how broken and torn
you left me
laying there
on the floor
aching and wishing
i knew what i did wrong

if i'm not allowed to love you
then what am i supposed to do
with the butterflies every time i see you
or the smile i get when i hear your name
or the deep feelings in the pit of my stomach
when our hands touch
or eyes meet
and at night
when i lay awake
crying
shaking
wanting you
that i know
that the world does not want me to be happy

and when i finally decided to let you go
you showed me the one thing
that you said was never a lie
and that was behind all the black and white
you hid more than the truth
but how you knew how to break me down
and torture me from the inside out

not only do the drugs
and alcohol
drown out the pain
but they also allow me
to drown out myself