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He couldn't love me the way he was suposed to. It took him years and a first heartbreak to understand the difference between lover and a friend. He laughed saying that i can't stop loving him. He was right at least about that.

I used him as a measuring tape for all the other lovers that came after.
as i close my eyes
a land so bizarre appears before my sight
full of mystics, stillness, and trickery
and this hollow heart of mine
sprout the **** of curiosity
how could this be so real?

a flash before my eyes
the sky lifts me up so high
and stretches the arms of mine
like birds soaring up the sky
i flap them side by side
with my heart in wonderment, I ponder

reflects before my very eyes
an aesthetic resemblance of mine
with great affection gazes at me
with awe our eyes meet and merge
lil flowers sprout out from between the ******* of ours
a chest of exquisite embellishment

this strange land far away
where i set my foot with ease
waters crystallize and dance with elegance
flowers and trees smile and breathe
how could this be so real?
then suddenly...

darkness fell on me
mystic land decayed
waters ran blood and miasmic
flowers and trees  called out death
i trembled in fear I want to flee
but the grass clasp my legs impossible to leave
Once upon a time we had the hymnal propped by the kitchen sink so's I could learn; years later Mum would sing along with me, and now...I like never but once in a blue moon dare to sing aloud, for missing her to tears.



(sonnet #MMMMMMCCXLVII)


What's happened to--me?  Rainy hours detail
Thet eye with silver's touch while green lawns fence
The minutes fog obscures by vague suspense
With softest carpets rolled out to avail,
And I'm not erm, my own in sheer betrayl;
Erst naked trees lost to mists' whitish sense
Of yonder, I could shiver, and do hence,
Cuz in a blink I'm his upon that scale.
One comment like my wont five days ere, poor
As what?  now he distracts aught hours 'til through
Suggestion I am giggling, sober, tour
His deepest sorrows, and maunt say he'd woo?!
Of course, I'm better searching violets, fer
All that.  Let purple wink low, saying we knew.

05Apr17b
Hyacinths, violets are classically known along with purple as signifying sorrow, the former I've seen rendered as "hyacinth/ai/ai--" like wailing.  And I love them, to be certain, or is that to say the least?
my day  
begins
at 3:00am
with hip-hop
thundering,
rain splattering
my window pane.
the witching hour:
my own, private
Galgotha. i forsook
god, now i'm ******
to hum the dirge
of doom, hushed
and out of tune.

this week in the news,
Sean Spicer swore
****** didn't gas
the Jews. apparently,
the irony of Passover
was lost on the fool.
if Pepsi truly held the key
to ending police
brutality, i'd be the first
to shake the Invisible Hand,
but that spectral fist
is too busy choking
the life out of refugees
to make time for a paltry
teacher like me.

as gas prices
sky-rocketed
and approval ratings
plummeted,
the *******
of all bombs
fell in Afghanistan
while tomahawk missiles
pummeled Syria
and predator drones
zoomed over
Yemen and Pakistan.

where do we stand, hands
stained red with the blood
of those we've martyred?
will we idly abide
an Empire crucifying
its imaginary enemy
on this insane crusade
of endless war?
our silent compliance
rings louder than the hammer
nailing our victims' limbs
to the cross of our indifference.

if there's one thing
i know for sure,
it's that art
makes this whole *******
joke a bit more bearable.
but how could we portend
to outlast this tragedy
when even ****.
and the Last Jedi
are only temporary reprieves
from suffering perpetually?

what's so good
about this Friday
anyway?
National Poetry Month, Day 14.
825

An Hour is a Sea
Between a few, and me—
With them would Harbor be—
The trees outside my neighbor's house
cover shame like my neighbor's blouse.
And the yard, oh my god, so perfect;
so, so, so suburban you could
stay safe, forever or however long it feels.

Her porch encloses her dying husband,
breathing out of a tank, or with a tank,
as if living with assistance is anything new.
And I think, well, I know she was once
married to a semi-famous musician;
some guy responsible for some important
'new sound' during the fifties'.

As the sun begins to sit, on this Virginia
horizon, I swear I am as lost as my neighbor,
digging around in her yard, trying to fix up
the place before darkness falls. I guess we all
are trying to fix stuff up before darkness falls.

The birds are chirping or screaming -- you decide --
under the coal dust sky, searching for something
but, probably, wandering around and around,
hoping that something makes sense or
presents itself. I don't know how birds work,
but this is where I say something; something
that we can all relate to. Something that really
hits the nail on the head. But life, like poetry
or teenage boys, or bloodied noses, or nonsensical
stares from that girl in 8th grade you regret being afraid of,
is unstable, meandering, even pointless. Oh so, disarmingly
  pointless.
Upside down world this is
Where even Alice would
Loose her tracks
This forest inside uncontrollable
Lack of purpose
The path is squirming
From left to right
Leading nowhere
But puddles of
Unidentifiable earning
Somewhere between bitter coffee
And lack of sleep
The absence of inspiration
Is seeping at a childhood dream
Air is free of substance
Like the dungeon of a
Crashed butterfly
Fly away little bird
...insect... whatever it is that
Makes you feel safe
The winged mouse
The pterodactyl of your own creation
Tell me what is that truth
That strings all these beads
Into a sufficient reason
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