Why is it that I go to sleep feeling lonely
But wake up to one hundred texts
People don't want me during the day time
But in the night I'm apparently a godsend

The 2 A.M. "what're you up to"?
Surely I know what that means
What you really want to know
Is if I'll satisfy your needs

When you're just a pretty face
No one cares what's on the inside
I'm the girl whom your mind jumps to
When all you want is a good time

I may not be everyone's cup of tea
But surely I'm their ninth shot of liquor
Brought up over drunken conversation
You all say "yeah, I'd stick her"

It doesn't matter what I say
It's not as if I have a choice
In this world of simple pleasures
I'm viewed as a body without a voice

I bite my top lip
close my eyes
& trust my memories
to remember your smell
biting my bottom lip, I yearn
to capture your taste.
I hear myself giggle
& exhale loudly...
"What have you done
      to me."
Inside my head is spinning
&, this
          this is what you do!
My whole world is opened
I saw the debris
   before I saw you
& that's how I knew
that only once in my life
will ever a storm
  that destroys
so much within
       & around me
be the storm landing
that throws my world
  before picking up
   every broken piece of me
& sculpting me into
   a woman without walls.

© Sia Jane

Standing under the red oak tree and the leaves are falling for every sin we've ever committed
And if after 3 hours if  they are still falling don't be worried- for they will come down the rest of our lives and that is just how it will be

We can blame it on the whiskey,
we can blame it on the loneliness, we can blame it on the wonder but we cannot blame it on ourselves

I know
I can't  I can't I can't dance with you and here I am with your hands on my hips and your lips on my neck
Music replaces my thoughts and my worries are shaken out with every step I take and
you are mine you are mine
you are mine

I am not in love with you I never was I know someone who is
She always will be
Please go to her I am not her I never will be

I lost myself in you for 2 hours too long and you are running too fast for me to catch up

Please
slow down slow down slow down
we are causing a scene and I am notorious for bringing the world crashing down

Smoke trails behind you as you run into the desert and as you look back I know I have committed the
worst crime of all

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I must leave but before I forget:

I never wanted to be the reason behind that cigarette

You have the chisel in hand
And the master sculpture
Chisel away the unnecessary
To sculpt a masterpiece
Heart shines
Through the beautiful facets

There's just too much on my mind
And it's hard to define these emotions
The explosions of neurotic brain waves
Feeling dazed, losing touch with reality
I'm finally losing every ounce of sanity
It's blasphemy to think I'm alright
Cause at night, there's ghosts in my dreams
And it seems they'll never stop haunting me
Reality? That's officially become a blur
Stirring up demons from my past
At last I can say I found a way out
But I have doubts if it could actually save me
This destiny I found with the barrel of a gun
Hell, it hasn't been fun, completely out of touch
There's not much left on my mind
As the bullet finds a home between my eyes

You.
You are the sunlight that filters through the leaves on the trees, leaving a golden warmth in patterns on the ground.
You are the smell of the earth after rain, rich with the musty aroma that brought memories back like rivers, or floods, or waterfalls.
You are the deepest part of the night. You are the silence. You are the soft sound of breathing in the moonlight.
You are the whispers like peppermint kisses on my tongue.
You are the stars, the velvet sky at night, the fiery sunrises, the clouds that drift like smoke.
You are the sand between my toes, you are the snow crunching under my feet.
And you are so beautiful. And you are gone.