the room all of a sudden feels smaller and colder and completely empty without his aura filling up every last square inch of it. i wish he could forever be in my arms, in my bed under my covers, in my room, in my house. but sadly he cannot be; he has his own bed and his own covers, in his own room in his own house.
although when we are together we are electric. when he touches me i feel it buzz on my skin, and when he stares into my eyes i feel it bouncing around my insides. and when we laugh harmoniously, its as if you could almost hear the electric currents rushing around in our atmosphere.
the smell of his skin has found its way into my sheets; i take in deep breath after deep breath, reminiscing the moments he spent laying here with me, radiating his warmth that comforted me more than any blanket ever could. the taste of his kiss still lingers on my lips, fading away as each minute comes and goes. the room seems so quiet, even though the only absent sounds are his rhythmic breaths and heartbeat.
i can almost still feel his touch on my back, stomach, thighs; as if he had left invisible prints everywhere his hands came in contact with my body. these hand prints are like a souvenir from my day with him; along with all the vampire kisses he has created on me, in places where only he and i can ever lay eyes on them.
when i am around him, i feel completely, utterly, unapologetically, myself. i don’t have to hide anything from him; i can giggle, i can cry, i can be angry, passionate, selfish, annoying, euphoric, childish, regretful, devious, you name it; he will still love me, in all of my forms.
but after he has gone, i feel almost lifeless again. my bedroom just seems like the old familiar place i have known since childhood; contrasting with how this room transforms when he is inside of it. so i sit for a moment, observing the negative space he once took up; wishing his bones and heart and eyes and everything that make up his flawless existence could infinity lie in the empty space all around me.
february 21, 2015