Going blind,
You stumble my way,
So devine,
Luminescent glow by the sun ray.

I hold you to my chest,
In harsh winds we fly.
The shadows of a beauty,
With a wonderful dark side.

Left soon,
Cloaked by dew,
But your bitter petals fall,
Gently and silently
Leading me to you.

If I could pluck a wild flower,
I'd **** a beauty so stunning.
A precious resemblance of,
A sweetly bitter love.
A woman so cunning.

Everyone lets me down and no one dares to catch me.
I fall to the ground with answers, but no one cares to ask me.
If I told them what I knew, they'd quickly lose their interest.
If I were too, baby blue, they'd further our distance.
And so I fear, for what I cannot change.
And so I stare at the dirt as if it were strange.
I do not cry, nor tear.
For I can not miss what was never here.
I do not sit alone.
For my shadow is a best friend of my own.

Breathe.
Receive.
Achieve.
Believe.
Be strong.
Be honest.
Be good.
Be right.
Don't fight.
You're alright.
You'll make it through the night.
Be the night light.
Be the sight.
Be the freedom.
Be your desire.
Don't pull yourself down,
push yourself higher,
as if a comet on fire.
Move forward,
onward,
upward,
higher.
Fly so high,
as if a comet on fire.
Be better.
Brighter.
Outshine the sun.
When they tell you walk behind them,
trust the time to run.
Be open.
Be off-guard.
Let it all go.
Maybe you'll get hurt,
but you'll definitely grow.
You'll definitely glow.
Like a flower of the sun,
always looks to the sky.
Live life like a miracle,
because one day you die.
(And I might really cry.)
You have to try.
You have to fly,
but not too high.
Fly to space,
and if your scared,
don't worry about it.
Long as I'm here,
there's no room for fear.
(I'm no parent,
I'm no lover,
but if you find one,
I'll see that you love her.
Because why?
I don't know.
I got over you long ago.
I guess I just found a strange addiction.
I care so much it seem like fiction.
I'll bite my tongue,
because it feels I'm digging a hole.
This is about you,
but I talk myself up like I have a big role.
This is how you should live,
but not because I said.
Really it's just tips I took from my heart and not my head.)
Be greater than they'll ever know.
Be beyond their circumstance.
Never let them see you wilt,
unless they've seen that you can dance.
Dance like no ones watching.
Sing like you can't contain.
Be unafraid to challenge society,
even when you stand in the rain.
No matter the darkness,
always burn brighter.
Always shoot higher,
as greatly as you tire.
As if you were-
                                          a comet on fire

From day to night
To day to night
I see the world in black and white.
there's good
or bad.
There's fight
or flight.
It's almost funny,
how my sight's not quite right.
Though, lonesome, it is,
I laugh in spite.
For years, I thought,
a rainbow could bite.

Laying under this old forgotten sky.
So forgotten its blank.
No one looks up there anymore.
As if they didn't care for the beauty.
They say stop and smell the roses.
Taste with closed eyes, they say.
Feel the chill run upon your spine.
They say it all, and forget so much.
But how can you forget the sky.
It once wore a baby's blue.
And the cotton ***** were  afloat.
Now this white cap has become a normal thing.
And do they care?
Do they?
Not in the slightest.
Child, you ask me how I know?
Why don't you ask the big white dome

No one even knows I exist.
Why do I bother with this?
I must have lost my mind.
Or perhaps purposely left it behind.
Regardless,
I can't feel.
I can't care.
I can't recall when last my puzzle was together.
Maybe never.
I lost the will.
I lost the strength.
My weary eyes,
want to shut,
I say "no."
They cry "but."
My wavered heart,
wants to open.
I say "no."
It starts moping.
I feel like I'm a *****-up.
I feel alone.
I guess, maybe I'm not, but I feel so on my own.
My music,
wants me to smile on the inside,
I say "no."
It says "It's alright."
I say "no."
It says "don't cry."
I say "I'll try."
But the unavoidable passes my by.
I try.
I try not to die.
To stay alive.
To stay away from the darker side.
But I rarely cry.
I always sigh.
I'm losing my touch.
I'm saying goodbye.
I'm climbing the window sill.
Hear my last hymn.
I must bid everyone adieu,
and fall out of my skin.

I lose my breath,
I lose my mind,
I lose my thought,
I fall behind.
As my cogs,
begin to grind,
I lose my footing,
I intertwine.

I can't contemplate enough.
My mind is out of range.
I can't understand you.
You stand on your own stage.
You pull the spot light and push it away
Constantly, all at once.
And all I want is to understand,
since who you are tears to taunts.
I have forgotten myself in this endless dispute,
of trying to understand,
i have killed all feelings,
and my being has fallen to losing command.
I don't get it.
I'm breaking down.
Trying to be what you need.
Now i'm stuck on the ground.

Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like no one is listening,
and live like it's heaven on earth.


                                        ~William Purkey

Let them swim through your mind,
while you contemplate life.
If they ask what your thinking,
you won't really know.
It went from ground zero,
to somewhere past space.
And so, you have become quite distraught.
Now I know that it's tough,
keeping eyes on the prize,
and keeping your head in the game.

When you suffocated your first instict is to escape. So you run and run with eyes closed, and ears covered. You run and run past the best things, because you think it helps you block out all the bad, but it doesn't. That stuff just seeps right through. You don't even notice how little it helps, until something slams into you, forcing your eyes to open wide, and stopping you from evading long enough to breath and see all that could be. All that good you have trouble believing exist.

Found by the playground
eyes circled and grey.

She wanted love,
she didn't want to play.

And it was a first time for me
feeling this sweetness wrapped in my arms.

Meek, flexible, honest, optimistic,
and so hopeful for the day to come.

This warmth I feel right now-
is it mine or hers?

Is it to keep or in the moment?

Because at this very milestone she feels so miracle.

The spontaneity that she would just-
appear.

Not at 'any' moment-

when I was in a hole of desperation-

pessimism enough to give away it all.

She lit up with every step I made and I made each step on a noose.

I felt a NEED to be with her.

"I NEED to be with her."

But life has roads

and roads have bridges,

which lead to oceans and marine's ridges.

Oceans find boats,

lost at sea.

That's my mistake, you never see.

It's why I like you.

Why I care.

Without that quality would I still care?

Mellow Jellow t'was a fellow
A fellow so mellow he melt
He left a note for all who'd wrote
A letter of how they'd once felt
His note was proud and read aloud
By beckoning gals from beyond
"I fear it's near,
Yet I don't fear,
Too mellow to steer,
Clear of what's near.
I fear it's here,
And drippings I hear,
I hear the fear I'm without."
Mellow Jellow t'was a fellow
A fellow without a good doubt
Until the day he went away
mellow was always talked about

You can rip the rainbow right out of the sky,
or make me feel so freaking high,
but you can't control it.
You're Jekyll and Mr.Hyde,
sometimes your calm,
sometimes just an unpredictable tide.
And I love you! bit by bit,
as I friend and dear to me,
but.. I'm tired of being drowned
by your slightly helpful sea.

You can carry me away,
but you're so clung to reality.
Telling me what you've heard,
to push your pain into me.
Shoving it deep,
by calling me names,
and telling me your morals,
that turn into my shames.

I try to take your hand,
when I have fallen down,
you offer it to me,
after I am on the ground,
but then as I get up,
you put me in my place?

I just don't really need this.
Are you hoping I'll lose face?
Hoping to wipe my happiness clean,
and that my smile will leave no trace?

Pity-
self-pity-
hopeless,
devouring,
full pity.
And you filled it up,
so full you had to pass some on to me,
but now I'm going to blow up.

I'm done with you.
And hell yeah, I feel so free!

In space we seem weightless.
Hidden by face.
A reflection of inside,
who we are
when we fall.

Space is kind,
but space is cruel.
Honoring the solitude,
while grasping to never fly nor fall.

An angel without the wings,
hovering over the sky.
Not falling.
Not floating.
Just being..
there.

Repetition reminding,
we exist nowhere.

Leaving fear,
and apathy,
seen in distance,
and serenity.

Pleasure overflowing to the ants,
deep,
deep,
in the empty of the stars,
who cannot see but the dull,
of eternity surround.

Breathing slow,
for the unanswered questions,
and the unquestioned answers,
that create a star so bright.
Being a instrument of the extraterrestrial night.
Lined perfect,
to ***** the blindness in elevation,
bid the truth of all whom felt the sensation.
Springing from these hands,
possible-
a true revelation?

Stay nice.
A piece of advice. A note to myself when I've lost it all.
Stay nice. Even if you hate the world, or angst has driven a ***** through your heart- even if your soul is blacker than death- even if they stole from you what made you real- even if your hurting or a fire burns your smile up-
stay nice.
Does it help to hurt the pain? Does it help to run the good away? Does it help to drop the mic, because the song was too hard for comprehension?
What do you learn by throwing a fit or stealing a smile or telling a friend you quit?
Be the change you wish to see! If you want life to be a tree and each person to be a fruit then be the fertilizer, or rain, or sun. Help the fruits to ripen. Teach people that no one is just a number. No one is just another atom on earth. Be the Atticus Finch. Be the warming parental figure to the world. You cannot force a change in anyone and you cannot make rightful karma come, but you can smile through it and be the contagious laughter. No matter how frusterating it gets or trying it will seem, may you always remember who you want to be and who you are inside, (no matter what anyone else can say) may you always-
Stay nice.

I'm tired of the hard life
One road to misery
The bridge that breaks
In London
The scars of our expressions
That still bleed
I'm tired of the lemons
I'm tired of lemonade.
There's not enough sugar
Or water
And I sit at this stand
Unpaid
There are limits to be made.
But how-?
I'm tired of the ultimatums
"...my way or the highway..."
I'm tired of feeling like a human,
Naked,
In a steel,
See-through bubble
At the bottom of the ocean
Freaking out
I'm tired of the notion
That things get better
The more you shout
I'm tired of win or lose
I'm tired of die or live
I'm tired of morals
And human way
I'm tired of take
Being the same as give
I'd love to run away
But how-?
To die,
But no
I'd love to walk away
And just go
So simple
Yes,
It's quick
I'd be gone
Beyond our fantasy
My soul would be neither here
Nor would lie there
Yes,
My soul would simply be
Bare..
I'd frolick about without underwear
I'd dance without chains and I wouldn't care
I'd frolick
Here and...
There...
But where-?

Everyday at 6 on the hour May Willows bathes in her flowers.
She gently smooths her lavender upon her gentle skin,
giving it such passion it entices as if a sin.
After which she reaches for her crimson towel and envelopes herself in it's subtle yet overwhelming power.
Yes, without this barrier walls would fall, hearts would sink, evil would rise.
Then her little peachy furs flutter to a wake.

IT is this time today when May Willows recalls the fateful event of her youth that has haunted her fresh adolescents and had given her such shivering adaptations.
She recalls the cold, unwelcoming shards skidding across her face. The speed of her skin against the granite causing her senses to numb in shock.
A party was being held but the ground did crash it. The home was wrecked and the valuables were shattered in the unkind intrusion.
But what was there to do? Nothing was to be done because there was no true damage. It burned only of envy and esteem by the suns next rise.
To say "at least" for what remains means "smile" would be simple. To say another state is ill-fed so you cannot ask for more would be belittling any reason, since every story reveals a different thinking that is living a different living, comparing unique to unique.
   May Willows was brave.
But what was bravery when the day replays? And she does not scream since she stayed so brave. She screams inside looking unflappable. The terror is not found in her eyes or her soul, but within her mind. In such a life where only you know and only you feel the calamity, where is bravery? What is bravery? Comfort is difficult when the problem is a ghost. When the truth is microscopic in attempt to evade the naked eye? What is bravery when the scars reveal a story that the body cannot be true to? What then is this great bravery that one might wish to wear? What then is brave?

Can the sun be any brighter?
I may be engulf into the sky's bright ray.
My heart is so full I cannot have any more,
and so I shall love no more than what I do.
This is the ocean I hid inside.
This is the rabbit hole,
that sparks my every curiosities.
Can I fly any further?
I may implode without warning
My goosebumps may come right out of me,
and my heart, climb out my mouth.
This is the river to the hidden third path diverged
This is the forest I always get lost in,
that secretly points me to the answers.
Can I love?

To be within but never without.
      Drifting by like drift wood shore to shore.
Knocking and ringing with scythe in hand,
      Cawing messengers, "Nevermore."
Shall specks of light shine in the night,
      be waved into the dark.
Beckoning for filling within,
         beckoning for angels to hark.
And hark they will for each hole they fill,
          but what man is an island, is still.
To be an art craved in the sky,
             no longer asking, but why can't I.

When you look back at the happy things,
                                               you just plead in your thoughts,
                                           "let's go back to that time."
                                       But you know you never can.
                           You think about when they were young,
                  when you last spoke him them,
          when she broke your heart.
      You remember everything.
          The sad,
              happy,
               funny moments.
                   Just the memory makes you cry.
                        Memories are painfully bitter,
                            yet sweet,
                               and somewhere in between,
                                  that's where you keep all of those memories.
                                        In a hidden safe,
                                          locked up,
                                          with a key pad that you forgot the code to,
                                    that's where you keep memories no one can see.
                                  The ones you forget.
                           Yet are your most sacred.
                      The memories you forget not to forget.
                 And as you sit alone recalling all of the past.
           As you cry in an empty room.
       As you sob in an airport.
            As you cry and sob and let your tears rain,
                you start to think of the future.
                      The new job,
                        the accomplished dream,
                           the husband,
                               college,
                                     more and more and so many thing,
                                         you heart burst with all of the anticipation.
                                              As you think of the future and past,
                          YOU CRY WITH A SMILE ON YOU FACE

Sorrow filled the air.
She layed beyond our touch.
She grieved for the one
who she could never see again.
The wishing word "forever"
was blown into the wind.
She tried to catch it with all her might.
But it flew away.
As she jumped for it she saw a floor.
Down, she fell.
Down, the stairs of red and white.
Down, she fell.
During the endless night.
A hope that life would bear her blessed.
Hope, not a lie that'd leave her life less.
She rose with a gasp her heart beat so crest.
She rose in a motion,
so fast; so scared.
Life torn away.
Dreams blown away.
The kiss that sealed her hope
would never come and she grew old.
Withered away at 23
Down, she fell
from her loved ones tree.
The apples he loved joined her in pain.
The lost and the loved will all be the same.
Found in years, lost in more, found again.
                                              "Forever" he swore.

They knew their falling would come. Said, "Stead fast may we fall. For our legs may lie short but out heart will show tall."

My love was lost on a battleship.
The devil up her nose.
She didn't care that she had no hair,
and she always smelled of rose.
I gave my heart in a thousand ways
to the girl with the long half-dress.
The snow white with the palest face,
and so much more pale lips.  
I recall how I first said "I love you" on the rusted monkey bars
but today she said so saddened, "give me to the stars."
She gave a peck
and whisked away.
But I prayed to see her a week from today.
My love was found in a house we once ran,
she wore her hair ground low,
and smile as big as she can.
We both looked out the window at life's passing cars.
I said, "I love you".
She said, "give me to the stars."
Her eyes so slow grew colder, older, more decrepit with each day.
I tried to act happy, but I just wanted to look away.
She wasn't the same as I once knew!
Her expressions never changed,
She was so white lined with blue.
It wasn't what my mind arranged.
I could feel the bleeding of her sewn shut scars.
I said, "I love you so much"
She said, "give me to the stars"
She was an orb of light before she whisked away.
The stars could not compare to her blinding day.
But I prayed her back from her holy grave,
She became a ghost.
She became a slave.
I cried and found my solace at last,
After holes in the wall and broken glass.
I'll told her, "I love you, near or far."
She told me, "I will be your star."

why do people assume they need to teach me about life; give me a lesson?
I think its okay then they walk away.
They say its to help me understand.
Fine! teach me about life; give me a lesson.
You all wear me down with this ******* obsession!
I'm tired of learning.
I'm tired of lies.
I'm losing my mind by these deluding blue skies.
I'll be cold because I'm too warm.
I'll be somber because I'm too bright.
I'll sleep the day and creep the night.
I'll harden my heart just to end this long deception-
while you teach me more of life; give me another lesson.

Dear 2016: mood: Nostalgic: It's funny how you look back every year and you see the 'old' you. Sometimes you feel like your running in circles and yet you were dumber then. Sometimes you just feel better and wise. It's interesting how you can look at moments that happened years ago, days ago and just subconsciously smile. I want to say I get it. After hearing it from others. I want to say I understand life and the people who have to deal with dumb things. But- I dont. I just feel more lost than ever when I actually think about what saying "I get it" means. I would like to thank you years. For all you give, gave, and give again. You get it. Whether I'm talking to a God, a fate, a life, or nothing at all. You get all of this, or no one would be here. It's not always rainbows and marshmallows, but it's not always fire and rain either. So. Thank you.

By earth and by sky,
by lands and by sea,
I've been caught in a web by my enemy.
Close to the edge and yet setting free,
I've been caught in the web of my enemy.
Mere cats in my way,
chewing the day,
I sway my tail,
a lost in the may.
Careful I watch,
for the worry I've learned
the fear that I know,
of a third-degree burn.

There's something beyond,
Something astray.
I wish to find it,
And if I long please
I may.

There's something that calls,
Singing my name.
I call back to it,
It longs me the same.

So the echo's resound,
Off the walls they lead the way.
I follow somethings voice,
And it soothes,"it'll be okay."

My heart moves faster than my feet,
Yearning me to speed up.
Simple words I needed,
Over-filled my cup.

There's something in the distance,
That nudges me to grin
My grin so wide it hurts,
And I can't stop doing it again and again.

You said goodbye and I said ...but you're still alive. You didn't understand what I really meant then,  and so I had to say goodbye, but I swear, those words were no drare. I could not see the day the same, until...I thought about my words meaning...you needed to just know what I meant and so I wrote a letter.
    To a friend who lived saying I have nothing to give,
   To the sour days when you couldn't win and you couldn't give up,
  To the heart burning with freedom and fairity,
  To the life of morals you wanted but could not keep,
I said "...but you're still alive."
  To the broken hearts and broken bones
  To the sharpened knives and sticks and stones,
To the troubles and the dooms that rode your way
  I said, "...but you're still alive."
To every inch of lose and every inch if gain
To every grain of salt inflicted on your pain
To the things no one could understand inside your thought-filled brain
I said, "...but you're still alive."
And though the words now dip stomach and scratch my throat,
Though the words are not as charming as they used to seem,
Though they've lifted off with the greater end of my cares,
Though they aren't even true for the best persons anymore,
All I can do is hope that if I repeat this line to all whom come to me then one day I might meet you again and these words being your saving grace. I know each pain may weigh you down, ...but you're still alive.

You worry about the world and how you'll hold it up.
You worry about my smile and what we'll be when we grow old
You worry our souls to gold
we worry your strength to grey.
I worry you worry too much.
It's hard to know and harder to watch.
I worry your dreams are of fear,
because you feel like time is wasted anytime you aren't here.
But how long can you keep this up?
It's killing you, you know.
And I begin to feel presidential,
to be so admired without a power in my bone.
To be right next to you and watch you act so alone.
Id never think to run from this,
because your falling as it is.
I will watch so I may be there the day you trip and tip the ledge.
So if you can't drop the world even when arrows fly your way, and your knees soon buckle then give way. I will be there to hold you up.

When the sky falls down and they all must crawl,
            I don't wanna run anymore.
When we've lost it all and the clock will fall,  
         I don't wanna run anymore.
When the stories long and our hearts weak,
Our words are gone and we got numb feet,
The things we knew are all simply sand
In
The hourglass.
I don't want to run.
I want to stay and fight.
Fight for friends,
Love,
And with strength from above I will reign and my waves will crash...
When you hear the ethos call,
"When the sky falls down and they all must crawl,
            I don't wanna run anymore.
When we've lost it all and the clock will fall,  
         I don't wanna run anymore."
No, I just want to fight. I'll be here every night. With the waking of a deer in the light. Perhaps fear is in my blood, but I will not give up. Because I've heard from the holy light,
"When the sky falls down and they all must crawl,
            You shall not run anymore.
When you've lost it all and the clock will fall,  
         You shall not run anymore."
Oh I shall not run- anymore.

You have big eyes,
and a pride to change the world,
but how far will you go when you know it all?
How can it be trusted you won't subsequently fall-
because you swear on your future that you truly know it all?

I'm playing keep-away with my skin. My blood a precious treat. I taste iron if I try, but I guess he thinks its sweet. I'm cowered in my covers, so cant you leave me be? I insisted you should exit, but you silently disagree. You know I want to believe your good. That you hurt me but its not your fault. You bit into my skin tonight and I keep crying, "Halt! Don't stab holes through beauty marks, nor swipe away my cells. Alas you are a tiny thing and must not understand my yells.

The sun sets at 5.
least happy alive.
Comfort in the moon,  
much like I.
Each routine day,
I let out a sigh.
For I have worries,
if worries are there.
For I have feelings,
I don't believe are fair.
I can numb,
I can bear.
For I am brave,
among this mask I wear.
For I am paved,
into this life I fear.
For even if no one knows,
I AM HERE.
I am fully human,
not a half,
not a bit.
I am finally smiling,
though my thoughts may not quit!
My smile is home now,
and a home where I'll fit.

I look at lights,
Laying beat and battered,
hoping,
thanking,
proud to cry,
I simply stare,
to greet my maker,
welcomed in by midnight sky.
I lived a great life,
I die a great death,
I saved my country,
I paved the world a new path.
No coins,
a shame,
but it's worth what I name.
Victory!
I bow,
vicotrious,
I bow to many,
I bow to all.
And now...
I fall.

Who'da know she'd had a problem in her life,
because her door was always locked, and her heart tied down tight.
She would scream inside her mind with all her might,
but they don't know what they don't need.
Her silence wins the fight.
Deep down, she wants to let it out.
Deep down, she doesn't even know her own pain.
Deep down, she can't unlock the door in fright.
What is hidden? Should I refrain?
She's awkward and she's kind.
She has an energy that people love.
But she has no inner peace.
Could she be an angel?
Kinder than angel?
She doesn't seem a mystery.
Deep down, she wants to let it out.
Deep down, she doesn't even know her pain.
Deep down, she can't unlock the door in fright.
What is hidden? Should I refrain?
Call on your friends
Your family
They should know what you need,
but no one know to decipher a code,
please I beg of you don't implode
Ohhhhh OHHHHH!
Deep down, she wants to let it out.
Deep down, she doesn't even know her pain.
Deep down, she can't unlock the door in fright.
What is hidden? Should I refrain?
Would I be able to feel human again??

It's not a question sweetums. It's an answer to a problem. You don't know just what you need, but I know just how to solve 'em. You open your hands for me, and I'll hop right in, if you really try to see, I'll show you the world you're missin'. Open your eyes love, and I'll make you never want to close 'em. See there is always a green side to every dark ol' shadow, but run with me and you can see the greener side to everything. Dance and fall into the grass and you won't even care for ants. All that matters there and then is loving; being, until the end.

Desire,
what love I shed on thee,
but fair has fate,
which scowls at me.
You look in a mirror,
your face in distress,
the mirror sees gruesome,
though I only see the best.
You sob out your envies,
I bring back it's head,
the sweetest smell follows,
though the fairest is dead.
I deliver the creams,
that best symbolize you.
They are each filled with mystery
which you fancy with no clue.
I don't beg you be grateful,
As you I be most the same.
If I were showered with love by one,
I'd seek the others for fame.
I don't doubt your elegance,
nor the great curve that cracks you face.
No, I know your lost within their minds,
but I hope I am not misplaced.
For I love what I feel,
but you love what you see.
I am no bound servant,
though nay I wish to believe that of me.
I love my love,
and she love me.
I love my love,
so she love me.
So shall I stay,
for infinite.
Gazing at her beauty,
that she may never see.

Father's hands were always warm,
dry,
callous.
Father's love was always kind,
strict,
confusing.
Father's name was never father.
Yet he spelled it for the crowd.
Father had no daughters,
but I played his Mother proud.
Food was steaming from its ***,
served to him each day.
And surely times we often fought,
but we always found a better way.
When we met his world was grey,
and now he asks me why I stay.
I always ask if he's okay,
but never does Father want to play.
Father always hides away.
In the house he sits on the couch,
with a good book in his hand.
I say, "Won't you smile at Mother?"
He says, "I don't think I can."
His 32 wisdom teeth,
cause me to misunderstand.
I sail to be his atmosphere,
never hitting land.

But Father is a genuine diamond,
a shine among the dust.
He may be a rough,
but with dedication he'll earn trust.
I'll never be the wife of Father.
I'll never know his love,
but he can be with others
...its hard...
but helping him is enough.

She said I'm like
            a letter in a bottle,
I float around my far off world, keeping my distance;
Wishing someone would help me open up,
Someone would read into my words,
Someone would find my answers, and lead me home.
But no one waits alone for years
with such excited hope
that they one day come across
                a letter in a bottle.
They need something that's useful.
But I looked to her in such disgrace.
She was once that person,
But the magic was gone,
and so was my bottle,
and so was my letter.

Hush and listen closely for my eyes may just decieve. I devour every movement, and then my mind play a fool out of me. My nightmare fuel supplying my thoughts, well who thought up that one, because it can't be my fault. I tell myself a lie, but I know it's a lie, so I can only try. And try I fail, because I'm but a thought spark, climbing into a storm, drained away with other thoughts to a colorful farm. But the colors clash hard as lightning to skin. And who knew thoughts could feel fear. But I feel it from deep within. If I slip away I see darkness, if I stay in the light I feel wrong. Like is this true, or lies I hear, somehow it seems darkness is where I belong. And it hurts those dang thoughts, when they run about. One tries to get away and spills right out, so I get belt, but my father don't know. I can't help it, they don't listen, just flow. I recollect myself with water, down beneath I feel it strong. They do not believe in anger, somehow human responses are wrong. If someone did something that hurt you bad, you'd be a whimp if you sat all sad, that's not me, I didn't do that, I punched her guts up when she called me rat. I could quite hear the ding, her guts or mine. And my confidence flew, but crashed in an ocean. Because anger is wrong, my eyes do deceive, you say I say to stop rolling them, but it can't possibly be me. I'm just doing what I can, to make it through the day. And my thoughts may be but sparks, of tied down energy.

Words-
They brought her down like a straw house.
Secluded her like a trapped mouse.
They gave her fear and she learned what lonesome was,
They taught her to hate and never again would she trust.
From a simple "hello" to a complex "goodbye",
She was alarmed and aware, and no one knew why.
Because words-
They stained her mind,
Imprinted upon her heart.
Lit a flame in her eyes that drew in dark.
Words-
burnt to her young tongue but not to theirs,
came with eyes like dark room spotlights.
Hard... cold stares.
So there the monster sat in fright-
a moment of despair,
but long came one sweet somber friend-
the trusting, loyal pup who'd always care.

His question for me was "do you see the beauty in life?"
And I said "no."
He asked again if I saw beauty in the world.
I asked "was beauty simply a masquerade dance?
Was everything always just a word and a description?"
I didn't see beauty since it wasn't possible.
I saw a monotonous echo of bright wonders rolled over my head and the seed, out of center view, was a blushing blaze of white that I love but bask away from to keep from singing my sight.
But why would we hide from true beauty?