A willow green
wept at the ravine
doorstep as Cardinals
flew free
into the green apple tree
that grew
next to my favorite mulberry bush
My companion, Abby,
chasing a possum
as I grew on green apples and mulberry seeds
darkness growing her tossing throwing the dead
acting possum
at the valley's doorstep
left me a
mystery.

You puffed out hatred
In blushing clouds that glowed against the hollow sky
And I writhed in the back seat
To the music of a broken carburetor and a lack of self-respect

Inky purple stains strewn across the dashboard
To match the ones on my shoulders
There’s a sky up there and I don’t think you’ve ever seen it
Because you say I’m a constellation that someone wrote the story of
Before they tossed me into the sky

So you toss me around like candy wrappers and train tickets
Because you like me when I’m crumpled in the center console
Below the strength of your hand that holds the cigarette
That you burnt your name into my skin with

This highway smells like gasoline
Maybe because I’m doused in you
And every time the road turns itself over into a new year
I tell myself that I’ll love you

Better than I do from below your feet
Peeking out from under your tread
While I’m treading water in the bottom of your cup holders
Or maybe one day from the passenger seat with your fingers pushing bruises into my thighs

You’re driving me towards the milky way with ashes in my palms
Away from city lights, away from myself
There’s a solar system next to my body in the trunk
And it always spins around you

Sorrow is something that can only be described as a flood.
A flood that leaks slowly into your heart,
Then all at once breaks open the gates and drowns your soul.

Rage is quite the opposite.
It comes in stone,
Like a beating.
Hot to the touch
An infinity of flames.

Despair is neither.
Not an act of overwhelming sorrow or bruising rage.
It merely sits and waits for the ****.
Scratching at hope one tick of the time.
Acts as an accomplice with your own wicked thoughts
To **** you.

isn't that how it works ?



missed sunrises



charcoal shadows on a rainy day



an unfamiliar knock at the door



you ,  standing there



not knowing why






I was the quiet one with a million thoughts , jesus and ***


thoughts so many tried to pry from my mind


ideas caught and tangled



in this superficial world , iconic and moronic



you called me a runner



I just knew how to listen



and just knew when



to go and begin - again





maybe you were afraid of my fearlessness



or was it that , so many other friends fell to their own



I remember them  



your unhappiness



in how I could be happy alone



how you confused need and want



your love caged in jealousy



if you could only change



me



my social sarcasm


cliques and their ******* games



and you spinning



a carousel of questions


who am I ? who are we ? where are we going ?



you kept grasping for that gold ring



I kept riding ...





your gone now



and it's still raining



slippery sidewalks



no rainbows  



just us  



rust



of auld lang syne







copyright 2011 Robin Christopher Amaral

Lay me to rest in your poisoned *****
behind a silver cage
I surrender to you a heart in chains
and when you kiss me
strange wanton delights grow
I am frightened and I'm trembling
but your seduction is slow
as it spreads
a vine of warmth through me
you leave me intoxicated
drunk within a dream.

Maybe this has nothing to do with you
Perhaps this is a frustration of my own lack of commitment
to my own life
to my own happiness
to my own love
Certainly I know little about you
Uncertainly I am attracted towards you
like a magnet to the center of the earth
it's nature baby I can't help it
Inconceivable I could be wrong
Conceivable that I could be wrong about being wrong
Surely there is an answer
to this endless puzzle of flightless thoughts
which I so passionately present
as it may be, to you