If I can get this pain on paper...
Maybe if my words could heal the hurt...
My sorrow is now in nouns and vowels...
The letters all look sad to me...
Every period seems so final...
Like it will stop forever...
I wish i could say I don't hurt any more... period....
Why cant Grief be like a poem?...
A quick  way to not be ok....
A series of words that you know will have an end...
But I guess some poems read like a book...
Maybe this one has a happy ending...
But for now its the saddest thing I could ever be part of.....

How do i say the words...
Meant better for a song...
I know i cant sing....
But i know im not wrong...
"I want to tell the story of a love not meant to live...
Like it was a BROKEN promise never meant to give...
How all the best is memories that are best left unthought....
And all the " I Love You" gifts were never meant to be bought....
I cant say im sorry because i dont wanna lie...
I can say this with conviction... I dont care if you cry....
Ill leave in a heartbeat.... I cant be kept...
I hate the feeling that "Something" should be felt....
This was a Farce and always a lie to most....
So i guess as drinkers we should leave with a toast...
May hearts of sin never lock eyes...
May when you lose once you never give a hundred tries...
And the most important  toast and part...
May you never start a life that is now your entire heart"....

I looked up friend so I could better understand....
All they said lead me to pain....
I Began with looking for "A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection"....
I came home with beer and a fish.....
I thought the next option was it for sure...
But it read..."A boyfriend or girlfriend"......
I called her up.... She said stay off the internet....
Well I guess it cant be wrong all the time... I read on....
Finally it said..."A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted" .....
That was easy to do I barely know anyone since you...
That just made me sad.....
I read the final description... Oh finally a glimmer of hope...
This one would be easy to find....
It once again read..."A person who backs or supports something".....
I back and support the option of not using Wikipedia to find what your heart misses most.....
I closed my computer... Drank a beer.... missed you...
And watched my fish......

If Pain was a payment....
My bills would all be solved....
If Loneliness was my line of credit....
Then I would max it out for you....
If Sadness was a passport....
We would fly around the world.....
But i only have a coupon called Hope...
And it barely makes a difference on the payment of Life....
And all the I O U's from the bank of Trust...
Barely get me by...
I see the economy of Happiness an empire not worth investing...    Because no price is as low as the discount of Loss......
But i break my life savings kept in Piggy bank called Memories...
And I remember I saved just enough Love to get me thru......

I seen nim again that sad looking man...
He stared at me with wonder....
Or was it disgust i cannot tell....
Maybe he should clean up...
The world will hate him less....
And a brushing of teeth will allow him to get close....
Looks like he has enough barriers...
He is not the suitable shade of accepted...
His tattoos make him a dangerous felon....
The lost look in his eyes means he cant be trusted....
If the rest of the world could see what i see......
That he tries harder and harder everyday....
Because his daughters names are tattooed on his neck.....
They are the reason hes tired...
14 hr days leave every late night worth it...
Because a midnite playdate is his only reward....
A lonely soul who recently lost his mom.... his dad....
And how a friend may be all he needs....
But burying his last one four yrs ago has made him scared.......
Now he is facing a world without any back up......
He is the only protection for a family that means everything....
And has a girl who maKes him feel like nothing....
Someday i hope to not see him so down....
But as smile at him...
I realize this whole time...
That sad man in the mirror is actually me....

I hate the way an "Unfriend" can bring you to tears....
The non "Like" of a photo is equal to death.....
The way a "Tweet" is not meant for birds...
How taking pictures of yourself is now a thing....
The words typed by phone...
Is now a way to make you feel alone...
Now i'm not even old i grew up with this...
But for a world now at our fingers....
I think we forgot how to use our feet...
To walk to our loves...
To simply say words....
I am not a hypocrite i know its what i do....
The world has changed to make things easy and simple....
But a thing like love hasn't changed For a while....
Everyone is always on line saying "Anonymous" things....
"Liking" memories they never took part in.....
"Poking" at someone to get an Emoticon response...
I guess a technological advance.....
Means a human feeling recession...
I guess if love was a valued currency...
We would both be broke somewhere...
Between Happiness and Forever.....

Well I guess love doesnt  live here anymore....
But it left a note...
It said " I woke up scared and shaken...
I thought I was home I must have been mistaken....
And sometime between morning and night....
I awoke to you in horrible fight....
Your screams and voices are not what I recall.......
And Once I leave you will know you lost it all".......