I am a master,
A master of pretending.
Because if i quit,
No one would like the ending.
The mask is easier,
For everyone but me.
But behind it i became so hollow,
There's nothing left to see.
I made so many faces,
I can't even count.
That when i look for the real me,
It's nowhere to be found.
I'm everyone and no one,
Just something in between.
But i know one thing,
I am a master of pretending,
The best one you've ever seen.

Life,
I'm coming,
You know again i'll try.
But can't you just wait?
Fear runs through my veins,
I can't deny.

Because i'm not ready,
To say goodbye.
Not when i know,
These tears will never dry.

Because i could never,
Stop asking myself why.
Why everything i loved,
Was all thrown away,
And left to die.

-anoeska

My aurora borealis,
My green eyes,
That were never mine.
Shining bright,
As we both align.

In the stars,
Where our names must be written.
Because with your presence,
I've been suddenly smitten.

Gasping for air,
Your oxygen i breathe.
But holding on a thread,
When the floor dissapears,
Underneath my feet.

But my aurora borealis,
To me you'll always shine.
My only religion,
The only one divine.

Your light,
Could light up the north pole,
Maybe even heaven's skies aswell.
But they'll be blinded,
By the brightness i can tell.

But oh,
My aurora borealis,
To me you still shine.
I just wish you didn't for everyone,
And you'll be forever mine.

-anoeska

Walls closing in,
Gasping for air.
Needing to run,
But not knowing where.

Every corner seems haunted,
There's no light to be seen.
Hearing such voices,
No one could know what they mean.

They chase me,
Everything does.
Everything is nothing,
Like how it first was.

Too much pressure, oxygen runs out,
I'm running out of life.

Is this how it feels like,
To be buried alive?

-anoeska

They say i'm young,
Young and small.
But do they know,
I've always learned,
From my fall?

I know more than most,
My soul is the bravest.
While i'm fighting,
Lots are out there being wasted.

I've learned from my mistakes,
Still doing everything it takes.

Because i'm not done,
Actually in the middle.
But once i get out,
Who is the one being little?

Not me,
Been there done that.
Screaming, yelling,
Tears falling, eyes red.

Hate, anger,
Sadness and fear.
Always on the run,
Hoping no one comes near.

They say that i'm young,
Young and small.
But do they know,
I've already been through it all?

-anoeska

I'm falling,
So catch me.
Like snowflakes on a winter morning,
Floating around so free.

Hold me close,
But don't make me melt.
Don't let me dissapear,
And let me feel what i've always felt.

Dissapearing,
Water dripping.
Cold into heat,
My soul slowly ripping.

I want to be freezed,
And held,
At the same time.
Always close,
Yet never mine.

Now gone,
Water on the ground.
Now lost and invisible,
For no one to be found.

So don't catch me,
Let me float.
Free and beautiful,
Like is always showed,

Before i was held.
Because i was pretty once,
But only before they made me melt.

-anoeska

I feel it coming closer,
I feel it almost near.
On my cheek,
Now another tear.

Rolling down,
Just like me.
But it gets so blurry,
That i can't even see.

Time is ticking,
Heart beats are skipping.
Is it just me,
Or am i slowly tripping?

Haunted by time,
Endless and timeless.
For people to say it's only temporary,
But nevertheless.

I'm stuck,
In something called free.
They don't feel,
But i swear i can see.

It coming closer,
Almost grabbing me.
But i'm afraid,
Time is the only thing,
That can guarantee.

-anoeska

He was my hero,
But it wasn't for him to rescue me.

-anoeska

I am the oldest daughter,
I just wish i could be better at it.
Even though i have reasons for my actions,
Still alone with my guilt i sit.

I feel responsibilities,
That are not meant for me.
And when things are out of my control,
There's no way i can let it be.

I was raised a soldier,
Who felt like i needed to lead an army.
So now when it seems like i failed,
I hide it away but feel it sharply.
Sometimes i feel more like a parent,
Than my real parents are.
Even though i need being a child the most,
And everyday i'm fighting a mental war.

I am the monster,
I am trying to protect them from.
I hate the way i destroy,
When it's a healer i want to become.

Even though it's safe,
I still look out for the danger that may be.
Just to see,
That the only danger there really is,
Is me.

-anoeska

Into the unknown.
My heart calls, my soul speaks.
Screaming for freedom,
With everything that i own.

One day i'll break these chains.
Take back,
What was always mine to recieve.
I can't wait longer i hear their call,
Telling me to take everything i have,
And leave.

Far away,
To be forever lost.
And i'll chase,
No matter what it cost.

I'll follow the sound of silence.
And scream,
In words that could never be heard.
I'll be misunderstood by most,
And in my fear forever burned.

-anoeska

Orange leaves, all crusted.
Falling from trees bigger than i'll ever be.
My soul dances,
As they fly in circles all around me.

Autumn falls, be prepared.
Like nature will prepare the trees,
Turning empty.
I fall, be prepared.
Because my fall will be faster,
Than the fastest leaf,
That now falls from the tree.

Letting go of what i once was,
Now on my own,
Vulnerable laying on the cold ground.
Like the leaves let go of the tree,
Knowing they will never again be found.

Maybe we look a like.
Falling away when it gets dark,
And being pulled away into the air.
Floating around,
Not really going anywhere.
Just away, from here.
Where ever that may be.
And maybe you will never find me again,
But again, we will see.

Autumn falls, but i fall harder,
So please prepare me too.
Show me the light i can not see now,
And tell me again i'll make it through.

-anoeska

Sometimes i ask myself.
Why try,
If i don't feel worthy of his love?
But then i think to myself.
When was the last time,
I even felt worthy of anyone's love?

-anoeska

For me you've always been my angel sent.
Far from above,
Hoping i'd be the one to catch you,
When your fall, came to an end.
But i fell too, even before i met you.
Therefore i should call myself,
The angel of death.
I looked it in the eyes,
And denied it as a threat.

I'll kiss your broken wings,
Even though your feathers cut me,
Like knives, deep in my heart.
I still gave you something broken,
I still gave you something,
That was already torn apart.

But for me to not forget,
Death kissed me, before you ever could.
Therefore i died,
And layed in the arms of an angel,
Before anyone elses, if i ever would.

The galaxies have called me their own, Before you.
Seeing me as a child of the universe,
Now safe inside their arms,
And no other place,
Where i should belong to.

So i may be upset about the fact,
I never got to call you mine.
But oh darling,
If only i would remind myself,
I was once aligned with trillions of stars.
Therefore before you,
I could already call myself divine.

-anoeska